Ingredients: Duct Tape, cut into half inch by two-inch sections. Dime. Tools: NOT your Momma's fabric-cutting scissors.

Step 1: Accessing the Probability of Reusability and the Occurrence of Keratinized Filaments on Distal Phalanges

If you think you will need to use your thimble more than once, -or- If you have hair on your knuckles: Wrap a section of duct tape around the girth of your middle finger sticky-side-out. If you think you will NOT need to use your thimble more than once, -and- If you DO NOT have hair on your knuckles: Proceed to Step 2.

Step 2: Aligning Person With Dime

Lay the dime across the pad of your middle finger. The tip of it should crest the fingernail. Adhere a section of duct tape along the back of your finger, over the dime, and down the front.

Step 3: Securing the Point of Collision With an Axis of Pressure Sensitive Adhesion

Adhere a section of duct tape along the side of your finger, over the dime, and down the other side. Adhere a final section of duct tape around the girth of your finger.