Evil Pumpkin Cat!

Those flattened "Cinderella" pumpkins don't get carved much: an unjust cultural bias associated their lack of facial surface area. Today, we strike a blow for the squat squash, by making it into a cat that wants to eat your face.

Step 1: Pick a Pumpkin

Normally I prefer mutated monstrosities, but most Cinderella pumpkins are quite symmetrical: they never seem to get tangled up and mutated by their vines, or completely flattened along one side, or any other of the delightful pitfalls to which other varieties fall prey.

On pumpkins:
I got this one at Organic Matters Ranch, very near where I live: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Organic-Matters-Ran... ...Nice folks, and 2014 was a bumper crop of weird and wacky pumpkins! I'll probably be there every weekend until Halloween, because I do that.

So I found a cat-sized Cinderella pumpkin, and drew on it with a Sharpie.

Step 2: Rough Cuts

I hacked the non-cat bits away, saving a long skinny piece for a tail to be affixed later.

Step 3: Carve a Scary Face

This could just as easily have become something with a longer snout, like an alligator or an aardvark, perhaps. I went with cats because I tend to like to carve things that might eat you.

Step 4: Details

I smoothed out most of the ridges, made a creepy spine, but left a bit of orange so viewers still know it's a pumpkin and will be lulled into complacency before they are attacked.

Step 5: Display

I affixed his tail (the only "cat" part of the "non-cat bits" discussed in step 2) using bamboo skewers.

He stands up reasonably well on his hind legs, but for extra strength I rigged up a quick brace using cardboard with a small piece of pipe insulation on the top edge. That will come in handy over the remaining few days of his life, as gravity starts pulling more forcefully.

I like how creepy he looks laying on his side, there are many possibilities. Maybe he'll meet a nice female evil pumpkin cat and have evil gourd kittens? Lots to explore in the land of Cinderella pumpkins.

Best of luck in all your carving endeavors, and remember, when dealing with evil pumpkin cats, or cute fuzzy little kittens: constant vigilance is required - they'll totally eat your face if they get the chance.

[Update] Several days later, gravity has indeed begun to pull more forcefully, and while the cardboard worked great initially, it gave up after a few nights on the porch. So I propped up the foul beast with a brick, and that seems to be working. An added bonus: limbs are shriveling, mold is starting, and what was once merely evil has begun to take on a lovely zombie esthetic. So while I was convinced of the initial danger of face-eating, I am now quite certain that the brain would receive more focus during an attack. Stay safe out there, folks!

[Update: Nov 1, 2014] Post Mortem:
R.I.P., Pumpkin Cat. You really got gross at the end there... I suppose that teaches us a larger lesson about life, doesn't it?