What's Christmas without fruitcake?

A BIG FAT JOKE, THAT'S WHAT!

Ok, so you might not like fruitcake. Or maybe you just don't think you like fruitcake because you've never had my mom's fruitcake that is full of candied citrus, nuts, currants, figs, dates, and lots of rum. It's like trail mix held together by a thin matrix of cake and booze!

Unfortunately, it's unlikely you'll ever have my mom's fruitcake. Just to get a couple, I have to guilt her with all my childhood memories of how she ruined me and my prospects of ever becoming a productive adult, so here's a cocktail that closely approximates it in flavor that doesn't require tracking down a poor old woman and coercing her to produce the goods by means of imaginative accusations.

We have only ourselves to blame.

Step 1: Ingredients

The cocktail calls for the following:

1 oz Frangelico
1 oz Brandy
½ oz Wedding Cake Vodka
½ oz Amaretto
½ oz Grenadine
½ oz Pecan Liqueur
½ oz Homemade Buddha Hand Everclear (or triple sec)

Background:
Fruitcake has 3 major components (outside the rum) which are nuts, fruit, and cake. My husband and I experimented with the ratios and came to the following conclusions.

The Frangelico, Amaretto, and Pecan Liqueur are for the necessary nut flavors. The Frangelico is doubled for a deeper note.
The Grenadine is for a generic fruity flavor, and the Buddha Hand Everclear is for a sharp citrus flavor. The Brandy is for the grape flavor which really pulls everything together.
The Wedding Cake Vodka is for a vanilla cake flavor that's not just vanilla but also has some buttery flavors.

You might be tempted to change the ratios, but be careful. Many of the liqueurs can quickly overwhelm everything and throw it off balance. In our first attempt, there was way too much Buddha Hand Everclear, and it completely overwhelmed all the nutty flavors. We also used vodka in that round and discovered that brandy was a better fit because of the grape flavor and "thinning" capability.