Introduction: How to Freeload Off a Dead Guy (Comedy Instructable!)
If you don't see the video above, click this link to go directly to the video
This is a little instructable I made just to make you laugh. Obviously if you find a dead body you should call the police not take stuff from him!
Step 1: Find a Dead Guy
Let's say you're walking down the street and you find a dead guy. Don't go calling the police just yet! That dead guy could be a financial jackpot!
Step 2: Make Sure He's Dead
Find a stick, and poke the dead guy to make sure he's dead.
Step 3: If You're Lucky, He May Have Food on Him
If the dead guy has any food on him, take it and have lunch!
Step 4: Check His Pockets
Feel his pockets and remove his wallet
Step 5: Take His Cash
Remove all the cash from his wallet
Step 6: Leave the Credit Cards
Don't take the credit cards. That would be credit card fraud and you don't need THAT on your record!
Step 7: Roll the Dead Guy Over
Using both hands, roll the dead guy over so you can check his front pockets
Step 8: Check All of His Front Pockets
After you have him rolled over, check his front pockets and take whatever he has on him
Step 9: Take His Car Keys
If you find a set of car keys, you just pimped yourself a new ride!
Step 10: Don't Forget the Shoes!
Are his feet about your size? If the shoes are nicer than the ones you have on... grab 'em!
Step 11: Take His Jacket
Is his jacket in better shape than yours? Merry Christmas!
Step 12: Find the Dead Guys Car
Chances are he's not too far from his car. Hold his key fob up and press the alarm button to locate which vehicle is his.
Step 13: Leave a Note
Don't forget to leave a note on the body, that makes it look like the dead guy gave you his stuff and car for $1.00. Write something like this:
"I, Dead Guy give you my stuff and car for $1.00 signed, Dead guy"
Step 14: Put the Note and Dollar in His Pocket
Put the note and one dollar back in his pocket so the police find it
Step 15: Call the Ploice
Remember to call the police and leave an anonymous tip, to report the dead guy, so they can collect the body!
Step 16: Behind the Scenes Photos
If you enjoyed my instructable (which was done strictly for entertainment purposes only) you can view behind the scenes photos from the video shoot at Swamp Studio
Thanks
Keith
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62 Comments
14 years ago on Introduction
Funny, I love it. one question... how safe is half eaten food in the hand of a dead guy with no obvious cause of death?
9 years ago
Then later die of whatever in the food killed him
15 years ago on Introduction
Taking the jacket may be a little hard once rigor mortis has set in though :)
Reply 15 years ago on Introduction
Yea, I don't think he was dead very long lol
Reply 14 years ago on Introduction
Especially if you just run him down, get out of your car, THEN take all his stuff, drive his own car up to his dead body, drive away in your own, and he would have some how ran himself over. No one would suspect you of anything.
Reply 14 years ago on Introduction
Wait a second.... KILLING the guy is a totally different thing and NOT covered by this instructable (lol)
Reply 13 years ago on Introduction
Note to self: Get working on killing people instructable
Reply 12 years ago on Introduction
Make sure its lejit by putting an arduino in there.
Reply 11 years ago on Introduction
and a knex gun.
Reply 14 years ago on Introduction
park him and the car on a hill so it looks like he forgot his emergency brake
Reply 14 years ago on Introduction
nothing at all
Reply 13 years ago on Introduction
and most dead people foul their pants when they die
13 years ago on Introduction
The first step is easier if you make a dead guy first.
Reply 11 years ago on Introduction
Yup, worked great for me.
13 years ago on Introduction
your prints would be all over the body
Reply 11 years ago on Introduction
right the police would thin you did it
Reply 13 years ago on Introduction
Gloves??
Reply 13 years ago on Introduction
Dusting for prints would be tricky. Plus nature would soon do away with most of your prints. Trust me.. mwahahaaa
15 years ago on Introduction
Sick. I hope I find a body soon.
Reply 15 years ago on Introduction
Oh they're lying around everywhere LOL