Robot From an Inpropper Engagement

9 months ago I was on vacation in Disneyland, I was on the adult side drinking peach daiquiris and chatting with Goofy about how Disney should have cage matches when he recommends that I ride Space Mountain. Now I usually don't get upset, but I had already been on Space Mountain about 4 times already, and really I wasn't in the mood to hear any more of that dogs silly jimmer-jammer. I left Paradise Island and went roaming around the park. I must have passed out somewhere along the way because when I woke up I was by Epcot Centre with one of the animatronic characters from It's A Small World and a bag of Doritos. Not wanting to wake my new friend I quietly slipped away and escaped the park. On the flight home later that week I though I had closed a very confusing chapter of my life, until I heard a knock on my door.

I open the door and am confronted by a mess of eyes, wires, and legs. What proceeded was a story of how Esmeralda and I had conceived a love child on that night under the Epcot dome, and she had abandoned him on my doorstep to take care of. Personally I think this is a little unfair as Disneyland has much more to offer then I do, but he's here now and I'm trying to manage. He like eating and, well, that's it really, he eats. He likes printer toner, circuit boards, bugs, and if I'm not watching he'll eat my fingers!

The tricky part is he doesn't sleep, so I'm trying to find out when his downtime is so I can stuff him in a box and send him back to Disneyland.