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Scared of shots? Cough!

The Claim: Coughing Can Blunt the Pain of a Doctor’s Needle By ANAHAD O’CONNOR Published: January 25, 2010 THE FACTS Sometimes there are no words that can comfort a patient who fears an injection or the drawing of blood. But there may be one cheap and easy way to ease the needle’s sting. In the medical literature, it is known as the cough trick. Patients cough moderately just before a shot and then once during it. How this works is unclear. It could simply be a matter of distraction. Or, as a report in the journal BMJ pointed out, it may have something to do with a brief, cough-induced rise in blood pressure that reduces the perception of pain. Whatever the mechanism, studies have found intriguing evidence. Two were conducted in 2004, including one three-week study in which doctors measured variables like pain intensity, hand withdrawal and palm sweating as subjects had intravenous needles inserted in their hands — on one occasion while coughing, and on another with no coughing. Coughing, they found, reduced the pain. In another study, published this month in the journal Pediatrics, scientists at the Mayo Clinic tried the coughing trick on 68 children, ages 4 to 11, receiving immunizations. They found that it eased pain in Hispanic and white children, but not in black children — a finding they could not explain. And like any method, it has its obvious flaws: coughing too vigorously, for example, could cause doctors to miss their mark. THE BOTTOM LINE Studies suggest that a moderate cough during an injection may forestall pain. Pretty neat.  Might be a good trick to teach kids so they don't develop phobias.

Topic by AngryRedhead    |  last reply


ways to get rid of a cough? Answered

Bad cough since the past few days, I cannot sleep. I have some bad days because I can't wake up on time for college. Honey, tryed and failed. My doctor told me that the reason why I am getting this is because I had a temperature and from that a cough evolves, the cough then causes me to have a cold. Simples.... Anything to get rid of a cough.... Thanks.....

Question by knektek    |  last reply


How to make coughing powder that will effect animals. Answered

I have always wanted to make a coughing powder that could be thrown into the air and would make animals (who breathed it in) cough like crazy so they will be distracted while I escape . How could I make something like this but have it not be toxic to my subjects? Another things is a question on how I would deploy it. I don't want to use a straw or anything small, but something that would distribute it amounts large enough to distract a bear. By the way I was looking for ingredients from home.

Question by SDPY15    |  last reply


Quantum physics

Wow I was looking for some info on quantum physics and stumbled on this *cough* nut job *cough* and check this out *cough*Scam! *cough*

Topic by iman    |  last reply


Awesome drum bot

Anyone know how to make it?*Cough cough*

Topic by LinuxH4x0r    |  last reply


Results for TGKTR2

Here are the results, sorry it took so long, but that wasn't my fault *cough*Dsman*cough* +P.4 Moving On:I_Am_Canadian86Viccie.B199384Jollex81S0lekill3r774 that are outDutchwarlord76Knexguy72Bakenbitz70DutchjNo EntryCongratulations to all!

Topic by jollex    |  last reply


My mom knows Obama and his mom! O Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's true! Obama went to school in Indonesia, and he's in the same class and school as my mom! And she gets to talk with him again when she is invited to America by the government to discuss her films or stuff like that. Now, how many of you have moms that knows Obama, hmmmm? *cough*vote Obama*cough*

Topic by Camisado    |  last reply


Modern music.

Falls probably have seen my profile where it says I hate modern music. And I do. For A LOT of reasons. Mostly about love or ( Censored ) with the exception of a hand full. Has killed the drum and guitar solo, my favorite part of music. "Robotic" themes *cough* Lady GaGa *cough*' Have weird topics. Pretty much no relative respect for musicians. Can't understand half the lyrics. Very repetitive lyrics, well said by nigahiga. I need to think of more.

Topic by NYPA    |  last reply


I'm Really Impressed...

As a result of the contest - there's undoubtedly been an explosion of knit-related content....I myself will buying some yarn and needles and Teaching Myself (thanks Rachel) to make myself this Awesome Neck Warmer as it can be a bit chilly while riding to and from school and such :) It seems much more suitable for use in Central *cough* Florida *cough* - I just hate being cold while riding and my longish 'necular' region is typically not protected very well...So that said - well done on all the new stuff :)andThoughts?, anyone else....

Topic by trebuchet03    |  last reply


Spelling 101

Okay, I'm going to cut straight to the chase here, people NEED to use spell check on their Instructables I've seen a butt load of crappy ones that I can't even understand, let alone read (not mentioning any names *cough* Knex *cough*). Okay so here's some helpful hints.1.MICROSOFT WORDI mean holy crap is this elementary copy and paste it from Instructable into word then hit spell check, I know it doesn't really work for grammar but its better than nothing.2. Dictionary Tooltip If you have Firefox which you should, this is just a spell checker that works in Firefox.

Topic by TheCheese9921    |  last reply


I think I inhaled a bit of cement dust...

Although I did my mixing outside (on a semi-rainy day) and held my breath while pouring the cement powder, I think I might have inhaled a tiny bit. Not a lot, but enough for a bit of coughing afterwards. The coughing is over, but my throat now feels slightly sore, but not bad enough that I want to contact a doctor. Mostly just a bit irritated, that I hope will pass. But can I eat or drink anything that might help this pass quicker? For lubricating the throat or something. Or will it go away eventually?

Topic by Mikki G.W    |  last reply


Sore Throat Cures?

Hey guys, I have a really bad sore throat, and it's really bothering me. Do you know of any do-able cures that actually work? I have tried having soup and cough drops but it's getting worse. Any cures would be great!

Topic by bakenbitz    |  last reply


Help picking the right dev board and microcontroller??

After reading a lot of sites (and a few instructables *cough*westfw*cough*:) on microcontrollers, I want to finally buy one. the only thing though is I also need a development board and im stuck. Theres so many, I can't even begin to know which I should get.I was looking into the Z80 since I could buy a development board for 40$, which is pretty high for me (50 is around my max), and it also has a usb programmer, my laptop doesn't have a serial connection, but Im not so sure anymore. I know *some* c++ and I'm willing to learn c so I don't need a basic module or anything.Do you guys know of any good ones for me?

Topic by pwnz32  


So, what are y'all getting me?

In case you haven't noticed, my birthday is on December 8, just five days away! What are y'all getting me? *cough*InstructablesTShirt*cough* It's ok, it doesn't have to be a surprise. No, but really, I will be 14! Finally, I will be able to - wait, there really isn't a difference between 13 and 14 is there? I mean, no special privileges, like driving, jobs, etc.? Ah, well, I guess I'll wait till 15. As a 14 year old, I hope to post up more (quality) Instructables and further my knowledge of, well, just about everything. Next year in ninth grade, I hope to take welding class, which will enable me to take on some of the "bigger" Instructables. My future looks bright. For now.

Topic by Bran    |  last reply


Wireless Headphones

Does anybody know if I can get wireless headphones with multiple headphones receiving a signal at the same time from one transmitter? I DID google it, but I only got one useful source, and I figured you... smart... people (cough) would give me some clearer and more focused info

Topic by Ananand  


F25 Anti-Personnel Grenade

INSTRUCTABLE DONE!!! LinkThis is the new grenade i talked about in my new magazine forum topic: HereIt uses a spring motor that is activate by pushing up the pin on the bottom (after being cranked) to fling shrapnel to distances not achievable by your average run-of-the-mill grenades...or should I say blunt throwing objects...*cough cough*. On average, this grenade can fling various shrapnel (green rods, ball joints and connectors, etc...) up to 25 feet. The best feature of the grenade, besides its blast radius, is how YOU DON'T NEED TO REASSEMBLE IT; you just reload the shrapnel, and toss again.I also have a slightly different version of this that can be fired from a Knex RPG!!!!! (coming later this year, because the M4 is using most of my pieces).If you want i will post an instructable for it but you can probably build from pictures.

Topic by flames10391    |  last reply


For all uninformed people and glassware users

Because it wasn't instructable material, but needed to be said, i put it up as a thread now this can happen to anyone... ok only amatures but still, and maybe non-amatures *cough cough*. What not to do with glassware: First of all after heating glassware do not-- Cool it quickly Put pressure on it Touch it when boiling or heating liquids do not-- Cap you container Insert anything that may block the gas escape Now i know you thinking that this is common sense which for some people is true but i don't need the next generation of destructible chemists with sliced up faces and hands (*coMugh coEugh*) It can happen to non amatures who just got accidentally careless, i just had a test tube with water, potassium perchlorate, sodium hydroxide, iron, iron oxide, and a little bit of ethyl alcohol blow up on me and yes you can call me an idiot

Topic by master-of-chaos    |  last reply


Hey Guys.

Okay. 1st off, sorry about my long absence. I had a busy summer, and I'm kinda running low on motivation. I'm going to be checking back regularly soon though. 2nd off, sorry if I missed some of your folks comments. When I came back a few weeks ago I had a few hundred comments that I tried to respond to, so if I missed any or your questions or such, please post them again here. My bad. 3rd, I'm going to be posting a video of a huge project I've recently finished. No instructions, as its rather unique to my bathroom *cough*cough*. Also, I've decided I've had it with my danged safe. I'm going to strip away the casing I made and just post instructions for the new mech. I'm really just out of motivation for the project, and others have posted safes and such too, so its not so new and cool anymore. And finally, I want to build a cannon bigger than the V1. Will happen this winter hopefully. Thanks folks, ~IaC

Topic by I_am_Canadian    |  last reply


Idea- Instructables Awards

Everyone's posting ideas for instructables, so I thought I'd post one of my own- The Instructables Award. At the end of every year, the community will vote and pick winners for a category. There doesn't have to be a material prize. It could perhaps be some sort of badge, that is displayed on the winner's page ( example: Best something 2007)The categories would be something like this:Most productiveMost comments - (or the Goodhart award)Most innovativeMost featuredMost helpful (GMiko could be...)Most thoughtful...or somethingMost commentedMost resourcefulCommunity member of the year (The kiteman award)Most beloved (its a tight race between Ible Robot and Kiteman)Most random (*cough*Cough*)Most controversialRising star - New guy that's becoming popularRandom winner - no reasonMost funMost pyromaniac?Most greenBest techie (techie of the year)Best Artist (artist of the year)Longest running member (nonstaff)Best avatar?Best comment (the single best comment of the year?)Best forum topicwell? what do you think? Ideas for categories are welcome!

Topic by Keith-Kid    |  last reply


Oh So Tired...

Ach. Wouldn't you know it? I finally start a group that seems to be taking off, and I've come down with something nasty. I've been coughing for two weeks, but I've developed some pretty horrid symptoms that only go away when I'm lying down. I'd appreciate it if you guys livened up the group while I'm out by inviting some more furry friends to join it. Thanks, Kataze (Bleach refrencer extrordinaire!)

Topic by Kataze    |  last reply


A Photoshop contest!

Hey, world! I have a challenge for you.  Your mission... should  you choose to accept it... Is to photoshop that picture of the eye down there better than anyone else! Yop. AND IF YOU WIN! You won't get anything. Sorry. This is just for fun! :D  The deadline is TBD (to be determined), so go and manipulate!! Post your entries in the comments. **EDIT: Because an anonymous person *cough* ^kiteman^ ,your photoshop must resemble an eye. ***EDIT No. 2: The deadline in January 31!

Topic by watermelonhead    |  last reply


I sense... a disturbance in the Force...

Oh yeah. Bill Gates didn't go to work today.He doesn't work for Microsoft anymore....Even if you're not a Microsoft fan, you have to admit, without Mr. Gates, where would the computer industry be? Where would we be?Flash back time:Ah, yes, I remember my very first personal computer... It was a Hewlett-Packard (not an "hp" ;-) with a MONSTER-sized monitor that took up a good 3/4 of my desk, a clunky keyboard and a "ball" mouse. It was running the latest OS: Windows 95. And get this: we were the first people on our street to get this new thing called the "World Wide Web" - whatever that meant. Our Service Provider? MSN, of course! Man, with my new computer (okay, in truth, it was a hand-me-down from Dad), I was the coolest 6-year-old in kindergarten. I had it made.Yeah, MS has made a a few mistakes...*cough*Vista*cough* (doesn't that go without being said?), but Gates and his company really did shift the industry into gear, and they aren't stopping any time soon.So, gentlemen, I ask you to join me as I tip my hat to Mr. Gates. Without him, I don't know who I would be.

Topic by Labot2001    |  last reply


Train Pets... Where to Sneeze or Vomit.

Pets, like kids, learn where to pee n poo.  Basic courtousy and hygiene. To what degree this is training, or instinct, I dont know.   Once in a blue moon, a pet vomts, coughs up hairballs, just about anywhere in the house,  or sneezes in one's face. Since these things are much less frequent, training to do em in the litter box, or into a hanky is less likely to take. Kids eventually learn where to go when nauseous, why not so with dogs, cats, etc. Any idea of how to acheive this higher level of consideration?

Topic by Toga_Dan    |  last reply


My New-ish Sniper

Well, a few people knew about this, and I finally got around to putting up some pics. It has a new-ish handle that is really simple yet comfy, a new-ish handgrip that is simple yet comfy, a new-ish barrel that is out of the norm, a removable red rod mag, nine connectors of friction and a full black rod of ram pullback, a true trigger(duh), and a swinging bipod that attatches to the barrel when not in use. That's it for the pros. Now, it's rather bulky, it has so-so power(though I never really went for that), the barrel is sorta flimsy(workin on that), the trigger tends to not take too much pressure(workin on that), and the stock is wierd lookin. That's it for the cons. Yes, yes,yes,yes I know my camera is crappy....it's too bright in all lighting.... Ironically, I finished this two days before school starts, so I don't know when I'd be able to post it, if I intended to...but say your thoughts on it anyway.... Oh, and by the way, if you fell like leaving a random or off topic comment, I'm no Nazi *cough*TheDunkis*cough*.... I got to type this all over again, because it would seem that the first time, the pictures wouldn't upload.... If you need more pics of it, let meh know! Also, just to let you guys know, I had two options: 1- let this thing have more jams than a Smuckers factory, or 2- make it so it cant jam, but you have to lightly tap the pusher for it to shoot. I went with the latter, so it adds like one second to the firing rate....

Topic by apples!!!!!    |  last reply


Is reverse engineering illegal?

Is reverse engineering illegal? Well, if you then go on to sell your version? For example, in an upcoming instructable I'm modding some electronics, well, without revealing my instructable here's an equivilent example: Lets say I buy a little robot at the store, it has motors and the case and everything. Only problem is, it runs on AA's and you want rechargable batteries. Also, the wireless module for some reason is external and is super ugly and annoying. You crack open everything and you find that the needlessly large circuitboards only have about 20 (somewhat) easy to find components that adds up to like 2 dollars. Following traces, you recreate a schematic from the PCB (already did this, that was fuuunnn :P). Now you reengineer the board (still same schematic) so that it's much more compact, you've added a little charging circuit (and correspond boost circuit, replacing a couple of AA's with a lithium ion), and you made it all fit inside the robot (no wireless module just hanging around outside the robot. Now, essentially the schematic is the same, but you've added stuff like the boost circuit and charging circuit. You've also added a few customizing features that make it more special (adding LEDs, microcontroller, cough cough etc.). Would it be illegal to sell a board/kit (incase other people want the board and can't solder smd to good) for people to modify there own robot (same model etc.). Also, the schematic from the reverse engineering is very similar to an example circuit in the main chip's datasheet, and a few other parts are common sense (like some resistors here and there, LEDs, a few extra filtering caps), so the company's circuit is nearly identical to the datasheet, is this illegal to sell?

Topic by guyfrom7up    |  last reply


Simple, speaker question. Answered

Hello, All I want to do is create a very low, and reasonably audible hum or drone from this speaker ; about as loud as a person humming as hard as they can before their throat hurts and they start coughing. Is it possible to avoid an amplifier and just run a voltage into it so that it just makes a single tone as described ? If so: I found this big broken speaker in the road. As you can see, the Cone is missing a section, but the surround and spider are intact. The cone is credit card thickness plastic. Is it feasible to just patch it up with some similar plastic and contact adhesive; it does not have to be a good sound, just a drone. I realise that my grasp of electronics is child like and readily accept the impending abusive comments and links to the Google homepage. Thank you  FOH

Question by FriendOfHumanity    |  last reply


Why won't my two stroke run?

I have a two stroke weed eater engine (actually from a tiller but it's the exact same) and I am having trouble getting it to run. I have the carb screw tightened all the way so the carb is opened up as much as it can be but when I start it, it coughs like it wants to die then it dies. If I squeeze the throttle a little it will continue running or if I squeeze it all the way it will still run. It just won't run if I let it sit. Also, I am intending to use it to put on a bike and it has a clutch but it doesn't really work that well. It will engage without even squeezing the throttle. Any idea of where I can get a small geared clutch that will fit it? Thanks.

Question by chiefs543    |  last reply


Instructables Internship - Day 3

Day 3! Whoo!(The hotel's internet wasn't working, so I had to wait until now to post)Today was another bright cough day at Instructables HQ. I continued working on some small little projects of my own, as well as poking the database and forcing it to spit out the exact information that I wanted. (later, I wrote a script to do all the poking for me)The new rating system will be much better, taking more into account than just a click, which will lead to more accurate ratings, which means you'll all get even more awesome instructables! Horray!!!!!Its amazing being here, though. Everyone's so great and helpful, its really hard to put into words... I feel lucky to be here!And don't worry, you'll get a blog post for today, too!

Topic by zachninme    |  last reply


Need ideas for basic science! Answered

Hey guys. I'm in my final year of school before we all part ways and go to university, and a small group of us had an idea to do an outreach program to local primary schools- British equivalent of Elementary School with grade 7. As part of the program we are aiming to interest these kids in learning sciences and engineering since we could be doing with more people taking these subjects in the academy. So can you guys offer any suggestions as to what we can demonstrate and what activities we can get the kids involved in? We have a few ideas for biology, chemistry and physics but not so many for engineering... Just a little side note, I'm not sure how American schools operate but in Britain we have EXTENSIVE (annoying) health and safety crap and risk assessments if a pupil coughs, so nothing too... Explosive Thanks, Tom

Question by Thomas9666    |  last reply


sudden infant death syndrome, baby breath monitor

Hello everyone, I am a first year Mechatronics engineering student. Well, I don't know where to ask about such stuff, but my question is: As a new oncle, I see my brother & wife worried about the sudden infant death syndrome, so like the baby stop breathing when his sleeping, so like every time he coughs or so, they get really stressed. For such a reason, I want to develop for them a 'breath monitor system' For that, how shoud I proceed ? should I use pressure sensor under him, to know if he is breathing or not, then if he isn't, make an 'alarm signal' ? Or.. some t-shirt / 'chest wearable' he wear, to see if his chest is moving, or not ? is it simple enough that I can learn about arduino / sensors & do it alone ?  I had many questions.. hope I ll get some answers Many thanks !

Topic by AmineAz    |  last reply


(newsletter) Solar-Powered Walkway, Lady GaGa Glasses, VHS Notebook

Art | Craft | Food | Games | Green | Home | Kids | Life | Music | Offbeat | Outdoors | Pets | Photo | Ride | Science | Tech Calm before the (contest) storm Wow, it's all quiet on the contest front with nothing to enter. Or is it? We have big plans in the works, and all will be revealed soon. Get a head start: one will involve good old-fashioned romance, another reusing dead computers, and we want you to stay sew warm this winter. Oh, and think of something great that can fit into a shoebox. Winners announced: Congratulations to Team Cocktail! See the awesome prize-winning drinks in the Cocktails vs. Mocktails Contest. Solar-Powered Garden Tiles VHS Spiral Bound Notebook Bend PVC Pipe DIY Cough Drops Credit Card Grappling Hook Lady GaGa Video Glasses Drinking Bird "Flock Clock" Cantilevered Foot Bridge $4 USB Latte Foamer Polarizer Glasses Copyright and Copyleft Gloves Sew an Electronic Circuit Hemma Chandelier IKEA Hack Pearl Necklace Makeover Credit Card iPhone Stand Make Perfect Saddle Cuts Guides Cocktails vs Mocktails Winners 17 Uses for an Old Club Card Notebook Mods Easy Recipes Instructables.com - 82 2nd St. - San Francisco, CA

Topic by fungus amungus  


Indoor Garden Ideas (or Night Gardening!)

Hello everyone! First off, I love gardening, but over the past few years I've become sensitive to light.  I am now unable to go out into the sun for longer than 30 minutes without some extremely strong sunscreen, and sunscreen only prevents my skin symptoms.  So my outdoor gardening days are: 1. Over  2. Limited to 30 Minute Sessions. I read the Ikea Aquascape Instructable, and I am currently growing some plants for my father's aquarium.  I also want to try the Garden Inside a Ball Instructable as soon as I find a ball to use. Are there any other indoor garden ideas that I can use? I have a pittie that loves to run around and knock things over with his tail, and a German Shepherd that we're watching while the owners continue to not claim him, and he is losing his eyesight so he tends to bump into things. There are a lot of great mini garden ideas, but a lot of them require counter space or tables that we can't provide at the moment. Or maybe some night gardening ideas?  Has anyone written an Instructable on gardening for people with vampirism, *cough*, polymorphous light eruption? I would really love some creative ideas.  Maybe a sturdy indoor window box?

Topic by kimmydesigns    |  last reply


Let's Do Some Testing for a 3-Month Pro Membership

One of the things that I have always wanted to do since I started "K'NEXing" (building with K'NEX) is to just sit down and start measuring, testing, and trying out new guns, different types of ammo, things like that. Then I realized something... I am way to lazy to do all that "work." So then I thought, well, maybe I could...*cough*... bribe other people to do it for me. So if you are at all interested in winning a 3-month pro membership, read the rest of this post. In order to win a 3 month pro membership (and a patch) you must do one of the following things: 1) Build a TR8 (no mods please) (only using 2 size #64 bands) and use it to shoot the following ammunition: Finned red rod Red rod Yellow rod Oodammo round White rod Fire all five of these ammunition types five times and take the average of each. It is preferred that you take videos proving the range, but this is not necessary for you to win the the pro membership. In order to enter your stats, you must have a picture of your gun, AND a picture of the ammo that you used. 2) Build a NAR (no mods please) (only using 2 size #64 bands) and use it to shoot the following ammunition: Finned red rod Red rod Yellow rod Oodammo round White rod Fire all five of these ammunition types five times and take the average of each. It is preferred that you take videos proving the range, but this is not necessary for you to win the the pro membership. In order to enter your stats, you must have a picture of your gun, AND a picture of the ammo that you used. In order to win you must present your pictures and stats in the most professional way possible in the comment section below. Happy testing! This forum post may be subject to change, and there is not guarantee that any one will win. Forum post expires September/30/2013.

Topic by The Red Book of Westmarch    |  last reply


circuit troubleshooting help

Hi- First on an unrelated note, does anyone besides me see "A fatal, non-recoverable error has occurred" over on the Makezine forums when you try to sign in? I've been getting that for weeks! Anyway... I'm working on a variable power supply that uses a 317 to regulate the 18 volts coming from a laptop switching supply. There are two 5k 10-turn (for precision) pots with a switch so that you can have two "preset" voltages and switch between the two of them at will. There's a single output. There's also a little lamp (I used a micro mini 12v lamp instead of an LED because that's what I had) that goes on above the pot that's currently switched in. The circuit I built (schematic is below) seems to work more or less fine. 'cept there's two strange issues: First, although the pots are linear (not sure if that would make the difference or not), they seem to "flatten out" toward their upper range. The first six turns gets you from 1.2 to about 16.5 volts. Then the last four turns either don't change anything or they do so in _very_ fine increments so that you only get from 16.5 to just over 17 volts. That's in four whole turns of the knob. This happens for both pots. The second stange thing is that turning the non-activated pot will affect the current voltage. When you increase the resistance (turn the knob to the right), the voltage level actually drops! Conversely, turning it to the left will increase the voltage. Remember, this is the switched-off pot. The switched-on pot works as it should (barring the mentioned weirdnesses). It looks like how much the voltage changes depends on how many turns you've given the activated pot. I suspect this has to do with me using a SPDT switch instead of a DPDT and maybe some voltage / current bleeding through the lamps and into the adjust pin, or something. But I ca/n't figure out why the switched-off pot would do anything. Anyway, take a look at the schematic. Is there anything I've done wrong that I'm missing? Should I, um, switch (*cough*) to a DPDT switch (something like the second schematic)? I used the SPDT cuz that's what I had. Anyy help is appreciated, Thanks!

Topic by deadbilly    |  last reply


To use a mask or to not use a mask these days - and which one?

If you are in asia then you might be quite used to wearing face masks.In other parts of the world this seems to be a totally new concept for most.So before I go into too much detail, let me try to to explain why you should wear a mask or why not.Reasons to wear a mask:1. You are sick, e.g coughing, sneezing...2. You have people with a compromised immune system in the household.3. You work in a high risk environment, like a hospital or have frequent customer contact.4. You have to go somewhere with too many people and risk factors, like shopping.Reasons not to wear a mask:1. You are fit, healthy and follow the STAY AT HOME thing.2. You don't really get close to other people - agai doing the right thing.3. Every mask you buy is one mask lees for those who really need one, like doctors and nurses!It is common sense really...Unless you are in a risk group or have to enter one the only reason to wear a mask is to protect others ifyou are sick.And since you should be home and stay home it comes down to protecting those in your household.Now wen it comes to filter masks there is a lot of confusion out there.Everyone is running for P2 or N95 masks.Seems no one knows there are actually even higher protection levels available....But what is realy required to keep a virus inside the mask if you are sick or outside the mask if you are in a high risk environment?You can look up how these N95 or N100 filters work...Basically the air has to pass through very fine holes - keeps fine dust out.Then it has to get trapped in long and winding fibres - causes turbulences and traps finer particles.Last but least electrostatic filtration.Here a charged layer attracts whatever is till going through - which really isn't much anymore.Especially this last filtration step explains why you can't really wash or otherwise sterilise these filters.What about washable masks?Buyer beware is what I say as you no longer get what you paid for!Washable masks not only need to offer enough filter power but also tolerate being washed again, again and then some more times.Most you can buy now are simple fabric ones with high claims and no gains.Good for working with a grinder if you don't want the iron dust in your lungs but most won't keep a virus out.Only buy masks that come with a real and proper certification!Making you own mask?There is tutorials from many linics and health organisations availble!Use them!Don't be fooled by the first hit you find Youtube, go for a real clinic and for something that as actually tested and used.Like the Montana Mask by the Billings Foundations, which is aimed on providing a proper fit while doubling your remaining filter mask supplies - look up Montana Maks or go directly to www.makethemasks.com .Why can wearing a mask actually do you more harm than any good?Unless you really know what you are doing chances are your mask leaks badly.Any air not being filtered is a risk for you or other people.Proper fitting and making sure it stays on is a must!And that is the problem already...People want a quick snack, drink or smoke - the mask comes off.So why did you put it on you said?Now you have contaminated the insde by exposing it to whatever lands on it - from there right back on your face.Not just that though...You got an itch under the mask? Great job for scratching you again rendered the mask useless and placed yourself in danger.Without a mask you might not get the itch, without the mask you wouldn't have to worry about doing everything by the book...And without you using a mask for no good reaso someone how needs a mask to save lifes might not have one...It takes will and persistence to leave the mask on and ntouched until you are in a place where it issafe to take it off and dispose it.Before you put a mask on ask yourself if you can really keep in on and your hands off your face....

Topic by Downunder35m    |  last reply


Japan Day 1

(I am planning on doing a forum post for each day of my trip in Japan. The first few days will just be copy pasted from my blog (but now with pictures, and image notes!), and after that I will type up the entry I kept for each day in my journal)I am writing this all on my eee pc, and, while I am getting the hang of this tiny keyboard, typing mistakes are common. I am also in various states of mental functioning so excuse any grammatical errors.I woke up at around 6:45 on Thursday morning. I had been feeling a bit under the weather, and was slightly congested. I really hoped that I did not catch something right before my trip. I woke up the other interns (Bilal, Josh, and Paul), because I knew they would be very sad and might cry, if I did not give them the last chance to say goodbye to me. We did a 4 way shoulder-tap, the universe imploded, and I was off.As I walked down Clementina I realized that it would be the last time I smelled that poo stench on the street. I had mixed feelings about this.The BART ride to SFO was very uneventful. Check in was amazingly fast. The line was short and moved quickly. I had almost everything I was taking with me in my carry-on. There was nothing in my checked baggage but knives and lint (one knife & one swiss tech mulikey). Anyway the whole process of checking in took about 15 minutes. The security checkpoint was even faster. There was no line, and for the first time in a long time I didn't set off the metal detector. I had shown up three hours before my flight to be safe, and I was now left with two hours and forty minutes to kill.I went to the currency exchange and turned 300$ into 27,000 yen. The Lonely Planet guidebook I have (which was printed just last year), has the exchange rate of one USD to 120 Yen, at the exchange booth they offered about 98 Yen for a dollar, google says the current rates are 107 yen to a dollar. Stupid weak American money. Anyway, I used ten dollars which I did not convert to yen to buy an english muffin breakfast sandwich and a gatorade. I went to my terminal, and accidentally dropped the barely touched sandwich on the floor while removing my backpack. I was hungry :(I read for two hours then boarded the plane at around 11. There were many people coughing on this eleven hour flight, so I did not have high hopes for avoiding sickness. Read some more on the flight, watched iron man in Japanese, watched iron man in english, and watched be kind rewind. They served two decent meals, and a few snacks in between. Ten hours later when we were finally over Japan, I went to the back of the plane, and stared out the window in the emergency exit door to get my first view of Japan.We landed around 2 pm on Friday. It was hot, so very hot (humid too). I filled out my customs form, got fingerprinted, and photographed, and made my way over to the baggage claim to pick up my knives. I made my way out of the airport to the train, and bought a ticket for what I hoped was a kanayama station bound train. Turns out it was. (cue the "ding" sound that is played on the audio tracks for slideshows, when it is time to change the slide). The first few pictures are of Kanayama station. There was a cool little inflatable pool, with little kids in miniature paddle boats. They also had a bunch of those water mist sprayers that people stand in front of to cool off.I relaxed at the train station for a bit before I caught the number 12 bus. I took it to the Ishikawa Bashi stop, and got off. I used a pay phone to call up Changmi who I had found on couchsurfing.com. I actually set up the couchsurf with her husband (who was out of town) who said it would be ok for me to stay, so I think she was a little surprised when I called. She said that she was currently hosting two couples who each had a small child. It was cool if I stayed, but it would be crowded. She picked me up at the nearest intersection with her mother, one of the couples, and their child in the car.We drove to downtown Nagoya and they let us out. Changmi and her mother were going somewhere, so I hung out with Sarah, Seba, and their daughter Maya. They were couchsurfers from France who had been in Japan for a couple of weeks. We walked around central park in downtown Nagoya for a bit. There is the large TV tower at one end of the park, and a bunch of art pieces scattered about randomly (metal taco boat thing). We went and got dinner, which I later found out to be pig intestines, with an egg, over rice. It was pretty good.After eating we took the subway back to Changmi's house and slept.Japan Day 2

Topic by Tetranitrate    |  last reply


ability of zombie in left for dead part 2

Smoker Appearance: An average-sized Infected with huge tumors all over its arms and face. Has a very long tongue as well. This tongue can be shed when the Smoker is injured, allowing them to get away. Sounds: Talk about an anti-smoking agenda. The Smoker makes all sorts of horrible wheezing and coughing sounds when idle. Launching the tongue creates a sort of slurping sound, and the music becomes dramatic whenever a survivor is being strangled to death. When they die, they explode with a puffing noise. Strengths: The Smoker is the longest-distance Infected and can easily separate groups of survivors through good use of its tongue. When a survivor is being strangled, they can't do anything to free themselves (much like the Hunter's pounce). This forces a teammate to run to the person and free them, potentially causing more problems for the survivors. They have a tendency to find the nooks and crannies where it is hard to see them, climb up on building, or move around in groups of regular infected in order to surprise the survivors. Weaknesses: In-between the Boomer and Hunter is where the Smoker's durability sits. They can only take a few shots before dying, making it essential for them to catch survivors off guard. When they grab a survivor, the survivor has a few seconds to fire at the Smoker before they become constricted. If they deal enough damage, the Smoker will let go and possibly even die. When constricting a survivor, any other survivor can bash or shoot the tongue or smoker to cause it to release the person they are strangling. Bashing the player counts as bashing the tongue, but shooting them does not. Special: Smokers are relatively harmless by themselves due to their weak damage output. However, much like the Boomer, they can turn an entire game around. If a smoker grabs and manages to strangle a player, it can force the other teammates to chase the player down and save them. On top of this, they often linger in large groups of common Infected, which will attack the strangled survivor and act as a shield for the Smoker. Tank Appearance: Muscle, muscles, and more muscles! The Tank wouldn't look out of place in Gears of War. They are gigantic, drag their knuckles along the ground, and run like apes. If you manage to miss seeing a Tank, you've got to be blind. A hilarious detail: Tanks have no lower jaws, so their tongues just dangle! Sounds: The Tank snorts, bellows, and generally sounds like an angry rhinoceros. The ground nearby trembles as they move, and the music gets very intense and action-oriented when one starts attacking the players. Crashing sounds are common as well, as they throw cars and chunks of landscape as well as rip apart doors. Strengths: Where to begin? The Tank is the single toughest Infected in the game. They can absorb an unholy amount of damage, forcing the entire team to work together to kill one. They can rip off chunks of the environment to hurl at the players, and will also throw cars. They can tear through certain parts of the environment, like pillars and barricades. Not even safehouse doors can stand up to a Tank. A player that is hit by a Tank will be flung, heavily damaged, and will be stunned on landing, unable to move. Weaknesses: A Tank can only take on a single survivor at a time, where all survivors can unload on them. They can't bash through obstacles, so walls and certain environmental objects will hinder them. They have to climb up like any normal Infected, as they can't leap. Any long-range attack can be easily dodged. They have a huge profile, which makes it almost impossible to miss them. Special: Tanks are big, dumb brutes, so use this to your advantage. They take time to find a target, and will get slowed down by environmental obstacles. With one person acting as bait, a Tank can be taken out extremely quickly as long as anybody, bait included, has a semi-automatic shotgun. Tanks are also highly flammable, and will burn until they die. Witch Appearance: Almost-naked, panting, gaunt, disturbing-looking woman with huge claws. Always has a red light on them, no matter where they may be in a level. Witches are the exact opposite of Tanks in appearance, being thin, small, and low-profile. Sounds: There is no creepier ambience in Left 4 Dead than that which surrounds a Witch. The Witch cries and sobs as long as it has been undisturbed, and the music becomes very creepy and disturbing as one gets closer and closer to a Witch. When they have been startled, it screams and chases down the offending survivor, letting loose random cries. Strengths: The Witch is the second-toughest Infected, next to the Tank. They also deal the most damage out of any Infected, as they are able to incapacitate (Easy through Advanced) or kill (Expert) any survivor with a single strike. They have great hearing, and any gunshots or explosions nearby will startle them, causing them to chase down the survivor that startled them. Weaknesses: The Witch will only chase down a single survivor before running away. The survivor which is closest and dealing the most damage is a target, but the one that startled the Witch will usually be the one that ends up taking the hit if it gets close enough. They're fast, but are slowed down a lot by doors and other obstacles. They can be sneaked by if the survivors turn off flashlights and walk instead of run. Special: The Witch is the only special Infected that can't be controlled by a player, for obvious reasons. A survivor with a semi-automatic shotgun can sneak up on a Witch (right next to one, in fact), point their gun at her, and unload a full clip into her before she can fully respond. This is the easiest way to take out Witches that are blocking essential paths, such as ones that are in subway cars in the second level of No Mercy.

Topic by Waren-Neutron  


Ancient technologies revisted - flying machines

With ancient "toys" and "decoration" showing someone who is NOT an archeologist things like planes, helicopters, jets and even "flying saucers" we can't help but wonder...If we see a little kid making a crude cryon drawing of a plane we have no objections at all that it IS a plane.If a little kid watched a nice pirate movie the resulting cryon ship still is a ship for us.And well, if the kid watched Star Trek a lot and draws a space ship we again agree it is just that.So why, if the same kids say they see a plane in an ancient trinket are we told it is anything BUT a plane?Take the famous planes the Maya culture presented us with so many times and that even build at a larger scale to show it is actually capable of proper flight.Archeologist and those involved with the official exploration of the past state it is an insect, some bird or just a fantasy creation.This and much more happens over and over again.What one side clearly sees as evidence that advanced technology existed long before we even had steel, the other side clearly sees it as something impossible.Artefacts showing os animals, plants and such however are always just that and everyone can agree - funny isn't?You have to wonder why a culture that can create delicate "toys" looking like the real thing would go and create something born out of fantasy.They did not do this, it a new trade of humanity called deception.What they drew, what they created what their myths talk about is all based on things they saw and experienced.It just makes no sense that they "invented" a helicopter for fun - they did not have the fantasy or brains to come with the idea of a helicopter...Then why are there no remains, no wrecks, not even spare parts to be found anywhere in the world?It is a defence argument often used by "real" experts of the field...So let's take a look at this statement and conundrum behind it.What we found in metal tools, toys, artefacts and such from ancient times is in almost all cases so badly corroded that it becomes impossible to make sense of it.A few cm of something that might have been a few meters square won't tell you what it was when it was made.On the other hand we found lots of copper and bronze tools - metals that can form a natural layer of protection that lasts for a very long time.Still even those, unless found in sealed places, are often so corroded that you need a bit of fantasy to imagine the original shape.At least the experts here won't tell us that something that looks like a hammer was actually a fork....If we try to imagine the materials that would have been used to build flying machines modern scientists all agree that modern metals must have been used as neither copper, nor brinze would work due to their weight and softness.Natural materials are out of the question as well because we never found evidence of something as simple a the Wright brothers or Hudini's plane...Like these old folks skipped balloon, gliders and all to go directly to modern jets and such...Today we use quite a few fancy materials in our flying machines.Composites made from plastic and aluminium, blow expanded titanium turbine blades, high quality steel for bearings and drive shafts...And one thing we only know too well: all these materials suffer badly from fatigue and wear and tear.We constantly need to replace worn parts to keep the thin airworthy...To back up our real archeologists and their claims or to show how all these alien nuts are wrong some tests were performed on modern alloys and plastics.It is the same process that checks how materials age in an accelearted way that helps engeneers to create better things.The best example of this technique you might have heard of is "biodegradeable" - found on many packing materials these days.Everything from sun light over moisture to bacteria and possible by products is added and "accelerated"- if the bag is gone after the set time it is deemed biodegradable.The results for our metal and composite tests however were not that conclusive and accurate.It is a different thing if instead of a few years you are supposed to simulated a few thausand years of exposure to the elements, having a jungle growing over it and all.At least they could agree that unless preserved in some sealed chamber or the perfect "soil" that turned into oxygen deprived and non acidic mud it would not take long for things to disappear fully.3000 to 5000 years only and there would be nothing of a fancy flying machine - if materials we are familiar today would have been used.Many of these cultures though are older, much older, so there wouldn't a realistic chance to find any "advanced" technology anywhere.But in hind sight of recent finding on the sea bed another round of this time just theortical agin tests were performed.If left undisturbed a flying machine, like a sunken cargo ship would start to form a reef in shallow waters and be overgrown by coral, sediments and more.On the hand, if left in deep enough water only corrosion by chemical means would be an issue and the deeper you go the better everything is preserved.For such a case it was estimated that identifiable remains could still be found up to 10.000 years later.Our biggest problem is to go down into the deep oceans to explore all those regions that were dry land before our sea levels started to rise.Why is this part of archeology so controversial and gets basically no funding at all?Considering the billions we waste on military and space programs it actually makes no sense.Same for the refusal to fully admit that ruins uner the sea that are over 40.000 years old can only mean we had a thriving human civilisation long before we are supposed to have been cave dwelling primitives.It is almost entirely up to a few private investors to cough up a few bucks to allow the exploration of the deep sea.And if you exclude minerals, vulcanic stuff and finding new bacteria and animals living down there you get next to nothing.Openly admitting that we were flying around like we drive our cars today at times when we did not even know steel is just too outragous.Would be like this dude a few hundred years ago trying to convince the world that earth rotates around the sun and not the other way around...We all know how that ended.Just imgine this for a moment:You invent and create something that you know is totally new, totally awesome and you wasted years of your life to finally finnish it and make it work.You would be proud as.And rightfully so!But then comes some weird dude and tells you "Nice, quite crude and badly designed but a good start."You would be furious whether you like to admit it or not - you just got insulted for your life's work...And to top it all up he comes along a few days to show you how he did it properly long before you even made your first technical drawings...Would be massive blow to your confidence and you would start to question a lot of things...Now imagine it would not just be you and what you invented and acomplished but in fact literally everything humankid ever invented and thought to be the best of everything....In a sick sense it is actually logical to prevent this moment of enlightenment to ever hit humanity.We can look at ancient artefacts, drawings and even entiry stories hammered in stone (or vibrated into it to be precise).We can see the reality but chose to turn a blind eye on it.What is even funny if you think about it is what sort of delays this refusal caused when it came to translation ancient writing.Not really that easy to create a totally different context just to avoid including the word "plane" or "space suit" for example.Entire sections of ancient texts still have "exclusion zones" for this very reason.Unoffical prove is out there that we in fact not only found ancient crafts but that we also managed to re-create at least what we could understand.But then again the same would be true if we trust our alien theorists.Almost every single day people report some sort of UFO in the skies, some even claim to have seen them coming out of lakes and the ocean.99% of these sightings are anything but alien craft.But it seems easier to post a video stating UFO's flying over.... Why bother to check if some rocket test, launch or similar was done around the time in this area?Why bother to check if a satellite was turned off for a controlled destruction in the atmosphere?And none of these reports are taken down or corrected with the right info when the truth comes out - you have to search the comments for it...In recent years though it seem the entire approach to keeping certain secrets secret has changed.Even NASA made old videos and images available to the general public showing "controversial" optical "artefacts".Some former astronauts went as far are providing images and videos they took with their own cameras and added what they thought about it at the time and till today.The US even finally openly admitted to have been doing "UFO research" for decades.Research in this context however means exploring or trying to, what these weird things might be that seem to follow and watch us everywhere.A bit shy of admitting they examined some of these flying objects but a complete reversal of the statements and approach we we told for so long.And then there is all this "new" technology we implement now, stealth technology, trust vector control, A.I. supported flight controls, three dimensional and real time computer simulations of the battlefield - the "soldier" could be on a different continent when his tank got hit by an RPG...Some claim the advances of these technologies were just logical and a result of theoretical research come to life once we had the tech and materials for it.These official claims however can also be read like this:Theoretical research includes reverse engineering and developing the required technology and materials is a logical step to re-create the reverse engineered object....Isn't it funny in this context that basically ALL these fance "inventions" have a trace that ends in a secret labs and projects?Only once NASA or the Militara was done with it and happy outside companies and people got access to parts of it.And this pratice is still happening every single day.Another, for some, strong hint is the rejuventation of the space race.But for this conundrum I will do another episode ;)

Topic by Downunder35m  


Funny Labels

These are hilarious!!! There all REAL funny product lables that people have found. Here's the link to where I got them: http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml Product Warnings: • "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet. • "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs. • "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. • "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron. • "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer. • "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer. • "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device. • "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. • "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan. • "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. • "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool. • "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant. • "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard. • "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn. • "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter. • "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image. • "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. • "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow. • "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater. • "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. • "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock." • "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box. • "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup. • "Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter." • "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee. • "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush. • "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. • "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old. • "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery. • "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion. • "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer. • "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. • "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod. • "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener. • "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener. • "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror. • "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski. • "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm. • "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty. • "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia. • "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone. • "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers. • "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink. • "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate. • "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant. • "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison. • "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757. • "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid. • "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller. • "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels. • "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck. • "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron. • "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine. • "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights. • "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume. • "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door. • "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. • "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets. • "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box. • "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box. • "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter. • "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy. • "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice. • "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. • "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan. • "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw. • "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer. • "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts. • "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing. • "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. • "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it." • "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds. • "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills. • "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle. • "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer. • "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. • "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame. • "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets. • "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack. • "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV. • "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack. • "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone. • "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch. • "Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions. See a scanned image. ________________________________________ Assurances: • "Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter. ________________________________________ Small Print From Commercials: • "Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store. • "Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean. • "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert. • "For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh. ________________________________________ Signs and Notices: • "No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere. • "Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950. • "These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church. • "All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire. • "Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine. • "Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic. • "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos. • "Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box. • "Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement. • "No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer. • "Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge. ________________________________________ Safety Procedures: • "Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building. • "In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp. ________________________________________ Ingredients: • "Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns. • "100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater. • "Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case. Materials: Covering: 100% Unknown. Stuffing: 100% Unknown." -- On a pillow. • "Cleans and refreshes without soap or water. Contains: Water, fragrance & soap." -- On the packet for a moist towelette. See a scanned image. ________________________________________ Instructions: • "Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch. • "Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills. • "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts. • "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11. • "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap. • "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper. • "Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner. • "Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits. • "In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual. • "Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill. • "The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position." -- Instructions for an espresso kettle. • "For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid." -- On a Domino's sandwich box. ________________________________________ Requirements: • "Optional modem required." -- On a computer software package.

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