The forums are retiring and are now closed for new topics and comments. The existing content will remain online and accessible through 2020 to provide everyone the opportunity to save any relevant information. In the spring of 2021, these Community forums will be taken offline.

Search for crown in Topics


The Ice King's Crown

It's my take on the Ice King's crown. For the "gold" part, I first tried gluing plastic paint buckets together, but they were too thin. I ended up covering the outside of one bucket in Bondo and then cutting in the peaks with a jeweler's saw. For the jewels, I cut a positive mold for each one out of a scrap of cutting board, then pressed them into clay to make a negative mold. Then I mixed up some casting resin and red dye and cast the jewels. They were epoxied onto the crown before I locked them in with Bondo bezels. If I were to do it again, I would use a more acute conic shape and make the peaks taller. I might also use fiberglass-reinforced Bondo and try a different gold paint. If I'm real adventurous I'll cast the thing out of scrap aluminum.

Topic by JamesRPatrick    |  last reply




Need help with hallmark card wiring?

The ones with the record your own. I would like to disable or destory the song after the personilized recording. Thank you.

Question by Chromatica    |  last reply


where can I get little motors battery powered for my automatas.

I live in Guatemala and I must to by them by web/

Question by jorgeparedesdeguate    |  last reply


Identify a Signet Ring? Answered

My grandmother gave me a signet ring a week ago, and I was wondering if anyone could help me identify the coat of arms on the front of the ring. I don't know what metal it is made from, and there is no visible hallmark that I can see...

Question by ObsidianBlush    |  last reply


is the ford Mondeo gonna be sold in the USA? Answered

Im wondering if the Ford Mondeo is gonna be sold in the USA, and what it will be called. i think it will be the next crown vic, but it will be sold in USA, as Fusion 3rd gen

Question by jason the redneck guy    |  last reply


I am having trouble with codecs I am trying to burn some Box Office movies via Windows Dvd maker?

I have done this befrore but am having trouble after instaling k lite codec and divx avi any suggestions? ask me any more  

Question by King Without A Crown    |  last reply


I'm looking to solder steel nails together, is this possible and how strong will the bond be?

I'm looking to solder the flat ends of nails together to create a crown of nails (headpiece) is solder capable of holding together steel nails in that fashion? If so will they be stuck together well enough to create a relatively heavy headpiece meant to be worn? (approximately 1000 nails)  

Question by phichi    |  last reply


Why aren't my downloaded images showing up in my Instructable?

Hi! I posted several images per step on my Instructable, and only the first pictures in each step are showing up in the finished product. It's been a while since I've posted. Have the settings changed? Is there only one image allowed per step? Thanks so much- Laura This is the Instructable I am talking about: https://www.instructables.com/id/Kalis-Crown/

Question by a.laura.brody  


Arduino Prank Remote, LED Matrix Display, Grow Gourmet Mushrooms

Arduino Prank Remote LED Matrix Display Grow Gourmet Mushrooms Pacman Cork Board Sterling Engine Fan Fortune Telling Cube Multicolor FLashlight LED Bead Jig Spider Silk Thread Mini SADbot Puff Embroidered Hat Braided Flower Crown Arduino FM Radio Receiver Remove a Servo Controller Solar Lawn Mower

Topic by randofo    |  last reply


Waterproofing a leather hat?

My day-to-day hat is a leather fedora. Most of the time, it's great, but it does leak through the crown if I'm out in heavy rain for more than, say, 30-45 minutes. This isn't normally a huge problem, since I'm not often out in heavy rain that long that often, but it is a problem on a wet camp, when I'm outdoors all day. Unfortunately, I can't polish it, as the finish is matt, borderline suede. Any ideas, folks?

Topic by Kiteman    |  last reply


Three random questions on this piece of radio guts! (ID-ing parts and the mysterious wax) Answered

So i opened this old Crown Japan stereo and found somethings i've seen before, but never had the initiative to ask their raison d'être (why are they there?). 1 - What is the blocky component with a colored screwdriver notch on them? 2 - Why do they always use this specifics pots for the tuners of radios? 3 - Why do they apply wax (often in generous amounts) over some components? (i know all 3 sound pretty noob, but i had to ask someone)

Question by vinacarv    |  last reply


God save the Queen!

It has been brought to my attention, after many years of being a proud American, that we are all believing a lie. We are all subjects of the British monarchy. Our good people, the conspiracy theorists, whom never have lied to us before are informing us to that fact. Therefore to show my new allegiance to the Crown, I will sing "Rule Britannia" every morning and I will renounce baseball as my favorite sport and I am gladly replacing cricket as my new spectator sport (I still have no idea how the game is played but I will learn sooner or later). God save the Queen! Watch the video!

Topic by blkhawk    |  last reply


Dental Implants

Hi I have to get four of my bottom teeth removed & will be getting dental implants. I decided to straighten my teeth also, so before getting implants have to get teeth straight, my bottom teeth are not to bad, Ortho said that once he has them in a position he's happy with can start the implant treatment, I'm terrified of this procedure I'm having nightmares and panic attacks. Can anyone advice if it would be easy to go under or stay awake through the procedure, all crowns on bottom teeth now broke due to movement. Will the retainer I'm given during the recovery time be a removal or permanent one? Can you sleep with it in? Im in a new relationship & would rather not share that current state of my teeth with them. Any advice on procedure would be much appreciated thanks

Topic by EricBach    |  last reply


BUST Spring Fling Craftacular, NYC

This looks like fun: the BUST Spring Fling Craftacular.It's an indie craft fair + dance in Brooklyn, NY on April 27.From their website:You are cordially invited to BUST Magazine's first ever Spring Fling Craftacular in Brooklyn! Save a dance for us and 50 of the finest indie designers and crafters at our Spring time craft fair and 90s themed dance!While shopping, sip on spiked punch and strike a pose at our Spring Fling photo studio (crowns and corsages provided) while dancing to the hottest jams from the 90s. $2 admission enters you into the Craftacular raffle featuring over $2000 worth of prizes!DATE: Sunday, April 27 from 11 am to 9 pmLOCATION: The Warsaw in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, 261 Driggs Avenue.

Topic by canida  


How to Make Lanyards yourself?

Creative types may be curious to learn how to make rubber bracelets. If you are able to follow simple directions you will be able to produce your very own ones for personal use or to give as a gift. Whether for yourself or a as a gift, it will be a great way to secure your keys, cell phone, badge, or whistle.In learning how to make lanyards it is important to choose the right material. A popular making material is a thin, elastic, and flexible plastic lace. It is readily available at most craft stores and referred to as craft lace, , gimp, or boondoggle.There are many different stitches that can be used to make or braid . Many braiding techniques are complex and time consuming. One of the simpler braids is referred to as a crown (or round) knot. One must utilize patience and follow directions carefully in learning how to make rubber wristbands. The basic crown knot is as follows:1. Take two strands of craft lace, fold them in half together (length will depend on the type of lanyard) and tie a knot toward the top to hold them securely together.You now have four strands secured at the top. 2. Spread the four strings apart, separately, pointing in each cardinal direction of a compass. Hold the left string with one finger (close to the knot). At the same time, pull the left string over the top string. 3. Cross the top string over the right string. At this point the top string is covering both the left string and the right string. Now cross the right string over the bottom string. Finally, cross the bottom string over the left string and tuck it under the looped top string. Pull each end of the four strings extremely tight to make the first knot. Continue crossing the strings in the same manner until the desired length is reached. The knots will produce a rounded href="http://Www.ybuw.com" target="_blank">silicone bracelets4. Do you think it a good way to make a gift to convey your sincere feelings?So, let’s do it now!

Topic by honlin  


Computer Controled Lighting

Ok.. I am going to apologize now to everyone if this is a repost of someone else's question.. but for the life of me I cant find what I am looking for... I am considering doing a project that will allow me to voice command a HTPC for other things then the normal HTPC stuff... for instance.. and yes i kow this is kinda out their on the geeky side.. but my brothers and sisters here would approve... I want to be able to walk into a room and tell the "ships computer to go to Red Alert" and have a red LED rope light hidden behind a false crown molding start to turn on and off.. and also play the infamous star trek red alert sounder..... This would be only one of many things i want to do with it.. but the only example i could come up with at the moment... If you can point me in the right direction for the lighting control done on the cheap that would except commands from lets say a batch file or what ever.... Charles

Topic by lifelineafety    |  last reply


Fastest Knitter to Defend Title

A neat read for those knitters out there!Courtesy of the BBCHazel Tindall, from Shetland, is representing the UK at the international contest in Minneapolis.She was 52 when she was crowned the world's fastest knitter with 255 stitches in three minutes in 2004.The top knitters from across Europe and America will be taking part in the competition.'Good technique'Mrs Tindall said she was brought up in a family where her grandmother was always knitting.She told BBC Scotland: "I managed 255 in three minutes when I became the world's fastest knitter in 2004 and this is the first time I have been invited back to defend the title."I think you need to have good technique and move your hands as little as possible."Everyone has their own way of doing it. I have been knitting for more than half a century." http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/north_east/7238737.stm

Topic by Brennn10    |  last reply


How to remove watch face/dial?

I have been trying to clean the crystal/glass and a minute hand of a watch. I do not have a tool for removing a watch crystal/glass so I thought I would try removing the movement and face from the back. I managed to remove the movement but the face/dial seems to be extremely firmly built into the case, see photo, and I cannot seem to remove it from the back. It is a chronograph and the two chrono buttons do not screw out like the crown does, which stop the metal face/dial coming out too, but regardless the face/dial seems to be extremely firmly pressure fitted so I cannot see a way of removing it without bending or breaking it. Is the only option to remove the crystal/glass itself to clean it up? If so, I don't have a special tool for removing it, has anyone removed a crystal like this with a knife or other tools? It is a plastic/acrylic domed type crystal/glass.Thanks.

Question by lsadwdwadw    |  last reply


Boy inventor re-imagines doorbell, gets VERY rich!

A 13-year-old boy from Croydon is set to make hundreds of thousands of pounds after inventing a doorbell that calls the householder if no-one answers the door. The boy entered a school "Dragons' Den" type contest, and ended up with his idea in production.  Orders made so far should earn him £250,000 ($411,000).  Three of his fellow contestants ended up with full patents on their ideas, and one other is negotiating with a Chinese manufacturer to get his idea on the shelves.  That boy is only twelve! Dubbed Smart Bell, the device came about in response to a competition hosted by Rook's London school. The contest, however, necessitated a working prototype. Rook's parents passed the plans along to a family friend, Paula Ward (crowned world's top female inventor of 2004 at INPEX), who sent the plans to China. Less than a year after its development, major U.K. retailers have signed up to sell the Smart Bell, which will retail for £40, or about $66. The Smart Bell has a built-in SIM card and other cellular technology that will call the owner's phone. The unit also produces some subtle white noise that mimics the effect of an intercom.

Topic by Kiteman    |  last reply


Just 24 more hours..

And this week is over.. I'm about to whine about life, so back out now if you like. What a hell of a week, I started going to UCF monday. Now, admittedly, I'm happy about that, even though it's terribly stressful. But that's not the problem, really. No, would you believe that monday I bit into a brownie at work and cracked a molar on a nut? So my first day of school was accompanied by horrible pain. Followed by a dental crown on tuesday. Yeah that's not that bad, so I'll add in that my wife's truck needed a new differential on thursday (somewhat more expensive than a calculus book). And today?The washing machine broke. Spent three hours tearing it down, it's a goner. Leaking pump, with horrible grinding noise, broken balance strut, and no power to the motor. Only six years old too. And worst of all i didn't win the explicative deleted bike. That's an almost $2500 outlay this week for broken things.. Oh yeah one more really irritating thing, I finished up my A.A. and received my diploma this week, in a big flat envelope stamped all over "Do not bend", which the mailman folded in half and stuffed in the mailbox. I'll probably read this in the morning and decide I'm a self absorbed SOB and delete it. ;-)

Topic by Tool Using Animal    |  last reply


My Belt Sander Can Beat Your Circular Saw

Has your hobby become mainstream when it's covered by the New York Times? Power Tool Drag Racing gets coverage in My Belt Sander Can Beat Your Circular Saw:TEN feet short of the finish line, Barbie Airplane was stranded.A screaming speedster powered by a whirling circular saw flew from a wooden ramp at the recent Power Tool Drag Racing competition in Seattle.The cheerful contraption -- a Craftsman belt sander crowned with a powder-blue toy plane -- had been careening down the 75-foot racetrack moments earlier. Then the sander's rotating belt came undone, stopping it dead.In the neighboring lane, Heavy Metal Waste, a circular saw souped up with skateboard wheels and flaming antennas, had already rocketed past. Cheers of victory rang from the bleachers.along with a nod to our very own Power Tool Racer Instructable:If this kind of tinkering sounds tricky, there's no need to re-invent the wheel, or the saw blade, for that matter. A detailed tutorial at Instructables.com gives step-by-step directions for converting a circular saw into a racer, courtesy of Jeremy Franklin-Ross, co-founder of the Hazard Factory artists' collective in Seattle.More news and press about Instructables here.

Topic by ewilhelm    |  last reply


how to make a large wristwatch case?

I am a collector and amateur restorer of wristwatches and I have a couple of projects which require purpose made watch cases. This is because they are old pocket watch movements that are typically 40mm plus in diameter and in one case the crown is at 12 o'clock not 3 like a normal wristwatch. The standard OEM watch cases are generally too small and I am looking for something a little more elegant (but still masculine) to show off these beautiful vintage movements and dials (as such I intend to use a crystal back as well as front). I would like to do one of the watches with a yellow gold front bezel (if not a gold body) to set off the gold leaf/plate(?) numerals and hands (on a white dial). The body, lugs and back crystal bezel could be in silver (may even be preferable) as the exposed side of the movement is predominantly white metal with gold train and jewel holes. I have been thinking stirling silver for the main body and perhaps 18Kt gold filled base metal or solid 18kt gold for the bezel. I have no experience with jewellry making and would be very grateful for any suggestions regarding techniques that a keen novice could use to get a professional result. I would also be looking at jewellers screws to connect the 3 pieces. Just out of interest the second movement does not have a particularly interesting or aesthetically worthy dial so I am toying with titanium for the second project...........

Question by handles63    |  last reply


Can a photo finish image produce a false result in a race or other circumstance?

Whether a 100m dash, a cycling race, or boats, cars or motorcycles going in excess of 200mph many times these close finishes are determined by high speed photo finish cameras or even less accurate low speed digital video. My question relates primarily to alignment of the camera in relation to the finish line but also other variable such as the surface of the finish line which could be either crowned or banked. Racers crossing over the line a few mm above another just because they are on either side of the centerline of the racing surface. Water finishes produce even more variables. Using a simple bike race where bunch sprint finishes are common with speeds approaching 40+mph I would place a bank of 9 (or 3) cameras on opposite sides of the finish line. Each camera should in theory produce a slightly different image of the finish with variable determinations of outcomes and results based on the resulting images. How would a judge or anyone determine the "correct" image and true result having only the digital picture? Second - of the photo finish images I have seen it seems the finish line is rather subjective? Is the actual finish on or more frames before or after the determined finish? If photo finish and photos in general admissable in court (myth???) how often is the perpective of the camera being judged considered? i.e. Someone who is significantly off the perpendicular snaps a photo producing an image that is quite different from another person's who is at a different angle in relation to the finish. Thank you!

Question by ambjoe    |  last reply


Join me at the Craftcation Conference in Ventura, CA - March 21-24

  Have y'all heard of this? I heard about the Craftcation Conference last year and wanted to go so badly, but I had just moved to California and was still getting settled. But this year I'll be there, along with some other fancy Instructables ladies! (Scoochmaroo is presenting three different times over the weekend, and angelabchua will be there too!)  If you're near California and you love to craft or if you own a small business you should make the trip. :D It's going to be held in Ventura, CA at the Crowne Plaza Hotel. Click here to check out ticket prices and find out more about all the awesome things your tickets will cover! Registration closes March 1st so you better get on it! Tickets are available for the whole weekend, and you can even get a daily ticket for just Friday or Saturday. You should check out the schedule - there are so many amazing workshops and speakers I can't handle it. I have no idea how I'll choose where to go each day! The 2013 schedule includes: SMALL BUSINESS: starting a creative business, social media & PR, wholesale, retail, craft fairs, ETSY, legal & financial, publishing and more! DIY CRAFT WORKSHOPS: sewing, knitting, soap from scratch, photography, letterpress, terrariums, bookbinding and more! DIY FOOD WORKSHOPS: pickling & fermentation, artisan ice cream, salted caramels, farm to fork meals, seasonal jams, rustic italian cooking and more! COMMUNITY EVENTS: happy hour networking, bbq opening celebration, pop-up shop, yoga, dance party and more! (link to www.craftcationconference.com) Still not sold? Check out this video from last year's Craftcation:   Craftcation 2012 from Letter Box Films on Vimeo.   You know you need to come. It's going to be so much fun! :D

Topic by jessyratfink    |  last reply


Instructables Build Night: littleBits

We down at the TechShop in Chandler, AZ have been eyeing littleBits since they first showed up on Kickstarter a couple of years ago... and boy did we ever luck out!!!  Thanks to Instructables & littleBits, we are now proud owners of FOUR Deluxe Kits and several of littleBits' brand new At Heart modules.  How? You might ask... Well Instructables runs a wonderful program referred to as Instructables Build Nights, where they and a sponsor send maker spaces, schools, libraries or other learning institutions a box of goodies (like littleBits) in return for hosting a build night.  The build night is sort of a free for all to make stuff with whatever they send you, and in our case - it was open to everyone, especially kids.  At the end of the build night, you submit three or more instructables for what you came up with during the allotted time.  Fantastic, right?! So, what was our Build Night experience like?  Well, when I got the box - I jumped up and down like a kid who just found out they were going to Disney World... and shouted "hooray Instructables! hooray littleBits!!!" and ran around telling everyone in the shop that they had arrived! I pulled them out and demonstrated how they worked to curious members who passed by, and the interest started to snowball from there. I went to the local thrift stores and found a bag of K'nex (awesome!), craft supplies, odds n ends, and pulled out the small shop supply of Legos.  I spread everything out and hung a sign above, telling people to PLAY!  Everyone was very excited for the event.  Our members with families appreciate anything that can help them involve their kids in making early on. The evening of Build Night, I commandeered two of our shop tables.  I set up one with a few laptops (for Arduino programming), and on the other I dumped out all of the littleBits.   To the side I made a utility cart FULL of the aforementioned thrifted accoutrements. We had parents with kids from 5-16 come in, as well as curious members coming by to get a little break from their projects by playing!  It was fantastic.  One of our guests made an animated scene, that looked like a mini backdrop for a play or puppet show.  One kid was completely taken by the buzzer, which was hilarious. We made a toy ferris wheel turn, a little roadster go, and lots of stuff light up... like el-wire fairy crowns!  We came up with a few instructables as well, like this animated guy and this little dune buggy. I am still working on the last one, a game show buzz-in system involving arduino - that is a little more complicated than the other two... but it is coming soon. ;) Build Night was a hit.  We've already had numerous requests to run a littleBits party once a month!  We're developing specific programming for kids using littleBits, focusing more on how electronics work and the science behind the Bits!  I can't wait to get more sets and watch our members continue to experiment with them! We feel so fortunate to have been given these sets, what an incredible gift!  Thanks so much Instructables and littleBits! From all of us at TechShop Chandler, YOU ROCK!  <3

Topic by coercionette  


Suggestions for a cheap, simple robot unicorn build

My 5yo daughter has figured out that her mad-Scientist daddy can make crazy things come true.  For her birthday, she got a real unicorn and a princess crown (see picture attached).  Now for Christmas, she has her heart set on a ROBOT unicorn, and I think I'm going to try to tackle this, but I need to keep the scope tight so that when Christmas arrives, I'll have a deliverable for her. (My instinct always leap to grandiose ideas like actual quadrupedalism that would balloon the time/effort/money inputs into the stratosphere.   My biggest obstacle to make this work for Christmas is to stick with K.I.S.S. principles.  I can do basic welding, woodworking, fabricating, stitching, etc.  I'm reasonably good at electronics, and am a professional programmer with a degree in Aerospace Engineering.) Here is my rough  build plan:  (Completely open to improvement suggestions) 1)  Build frame out of 1/2" square steel tubing and weld together.  Leave large torso cavity for electronics and batteries.  Feet will have wheels concealed by a hoof shroud.  Feet will be upgradable (see tech features below) 2)  Use blue foam to rough out body shape.  3)  Cover with about 1/2" of soft foam covered with felt.  Use yarn for mane and tail.  Cover should be removable and washable. I'm trying to figure out tiers of work so that as long as I get the basic frame and covering down, I'll be able to increase/decrease the scope to ensure I'll have a deliverable for Christmas.  Here are the tiered robotic features I am envisioning: Tier 1: Make the saddle bounce at about .5Hz with an amplitude of roughly 1/2".  Possibly make head/neck bob up/down in sync. Tier 2:  Add horse sound effects Tier 3:  Build sensors for the reigns and stirrups.  Monitor if stirrups get pushed inward in a basic kick the horse motion.  Monitor if one reign or both are being pulled.  Make sounds effects based on inputs.  (E.G.  Clop, clop of hooves begins when stirrups are pushed in, and stop when reigns are pulled.)  NOTE:  Since they have access to real horses, keeping the controls reasonably close to riding a real horse will make this double as a trainer/simulator for her and her friends. Tier 4:  Upgrade wheels to powered.  Move based on reign and stirrup inputs.   Max speed will be very slow (40fps or so), so that it can be used inside safely.  Movement is mostly just to augment her imagination, not to move like a real horse. Tier 5:  (Not much chance I'll get this far prior to Christmas)  Upgrade software, sound effects, etc. Current back of napkin ideas: Frame will probably have 3 pieces: legs/torso, neck/head, Saddle/back  Saddle/back removable for electronics access. Neck/head will be joined to torso in 3 spots:  the top point will be anchored with a chain link between two eye-bolts, the other two points would be on the sides of the bottom, with compression springs pushing the neck and torso away from each other, limited by a mechanical linkage.  This should give reasonable motion ability, and allow the two base points to become the sensors for the reigns being pulled. I'm thinking a small 12V deep cycle battery, and 12v salvage DC motors powering the wheels.  Depending on the motor torque, I'll either power the back two feet and keep the front feet as swivel casters, or power all four and turn tank-style. The budget needs to stay reasonable, say $100ish.  This is a kids toy, and I've got lots of other mad-scientist projects to pump money towards. Outstanding questions: Motor selection, cheapest with high enough torque Good, cheap way to make seat and possibly head oscillate.  Mechanism needs to not break even if a 200lbs rider sits on it.  (Doesn't need to work when overloaded, just can't be permanently damaged when overloaded.) Locate inexpensive 12v charger that won't overcharge if left connected, but will charge a 3ah battery reasonably quickly.  (Or schematics to build one)  Essentially, looking for a best bang-for-buck charger. Least expensive way to play audio clips?  I've got plenty of horse-sound clips located, but I need a way to play them economically. Not sure how much force will be needed for movement.  I'm assuming a 70lbs rider/robot max and that it will primarily operate on flat surfaces, potentially on carpet.  Can't burn out if overloaded.  Suggestions on simplifying this?  Suggestions on simple improvements?  Ways to keep the costs down?  Sources for economical parts?

Topic by SvdSinner    |  last reply


John Cleese's "Letter To America"

Forwarded along by an Aussie. Enjoy.Dear Citizens of America,In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.2. The letter "U" will be reinstated in words such as "colour", "favour" and "neighbour." Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut" without skipping half the letters, and the suffix "-ize" will be replaced by the suffix "-ise."3. You will learn that the suffix "burgh" is pronounced "burra"; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as "Pittsberg" if you find you simply can't cope with correct pronunciation.4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.5. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of "-ize."6. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen," but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd willbe a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called "Come-Uppance Day." 8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling "gasoline") - roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ear removed with a cheese grater.17. You will cease playing American "football." There is only one kind of proper football; you call it "soccer." Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American "football," but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of Jessies - English slang for "Big Girls Blouse").18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the "World Series" for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven.19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.Thank you for your co-operation.John CleeseLink

Topic by canida    |  last reply


Memories.....like the corners of our minds......

Some fond memories: How many do you remember ?Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.Ignition switches on the dashboard.Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.Real ice boxes.Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner or an open hearth.Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.Older Than Dirt Quiz:Count all the ones that you remember, NOT the ones you were told about! Your ratings at the bottom. 1. Blackjack chewing gum 2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water 3. Candy cigarettes 4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles 5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes 6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers 7. Party lines 8. Newsreels before the movie 9. P.F. Flyers10. Butch wax11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)12. Peashooters13. Howdy Doody14. 45 RPM records15. S&H; Green Stamps16. Hi-fi's17. Metal ice trays with lever18. Mimeograph paper19. Blue flashbulb20. Packards21. Roller skate keys22. Cork popguns23. Drive-ins24. Studebakers25. Wash tub wringersIf you remembered 0-5 = You're still youngIf you remembered 6-10 = You are getting olderIf you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt ! (PS: This is me :-) )I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.'Senility Prayer'...God grant me...The senility to forget the people I never liked;The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,And the eyesight to tell the difference.''Hey Dad,' one of my kids asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up ? ' 'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the food was slow.''C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat ?''It was a place called 'at home, I explained. 'Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:Some parents NEVER owned their own house (my Dad did, it cost him $14,000 for a 3 bedroom rancher), wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.My parents never drove me to soccer practice. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 8. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger. I was 14 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.We didn't have a car until I was 9. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a 'machine.' It started by pushing a button on the dashboard. I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning.. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it ?MEMORIES from a friend:My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

Topic by Goodhart    |  last reply


Declaration of Independence

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the creative bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all makers are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Tools, Warranty and the pursuit of Customness. - That to secure these rights, Websites are instituted among Makers, deriving their just powers from the consent of the members, -That whenever any Form of Website becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Webspace, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Ideas and Projects. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Websites long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Webmasters, and to provide new Guards for their future security. - Such has been the patient sufferance of these Users; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Website. The history of the present CEO of Instructables is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Members. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.He has refused his Assent to Features, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.He has forbidden his Staff to pass Forum Topics of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.He has dissolved Comments and Topics repeatedly, for opposing with (wo)manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these Users; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Free accounts; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Features.He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to TOS for establishing Moderating Powers.He has made Sherrifans dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Filters without the Consent of our legislatures.He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our TOS; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:For cutting off our Allsteps with all parts of the world:For imposing Pro fees on us without our Consent:For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Refund of Fees:For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:For abolishing the free System of Exchange of Ideas in a neighbouring Webspace, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these directories:For taking away our Favorites, abolishing our most valuable Features and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Websites:For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized website.He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Spammers whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all OSs, platforms and softwares.In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be El Jefe of a free people.Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Hacking brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their staff to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.We, therefore, the Representatives of the Members of Instructables, in Freenode on #instructables, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Posters of these Forums, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Dirs are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent Sites, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Robot Crown, and that all TCP/IP connection between them and the Site of Instructables, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent Sites, they have full Power to assign Mods, post content, contract sponsors, establish Advertising, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Sites may of right do. - And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Tools, our Kiteboards, and our sacred Honor.None of the above, is, of course, intended seriously. Dur. IT'S A JOKE, peoplez. Sheesh.

Topic by Lithium Rain    |  last reply


8 Reasons you'll rejoice when we hit $8 a gallon gasoline

This article in MarketWatch written by Chris Pummer mostly matches my opinions. My favorite is #2Here is the text:SAN FRANCISCO (MarketWatch) -- For one of the nastiest substances on earth, crude oil has an amazing grip on the globe. We all know the stuff's poison, yet we're as dependent on it as our air and water supplies -- which, of course, is what oil is poisoning.Shouldn't we be technologically advanced enough here in the 21st Century to quit siphoning off the pus of the Earth? Regardless whether you believe global warming is threatening the planet's future, you must admit crude is passé. Americans should be celebrating rather than shuddering over the arrival of $4-a-gallon gasoline. We lived on cheap gas too long, failed to innovate and now face the consequences of competing for a finite resource amid fast-expanding global demand.A further price rise as in Europe to $8 a gallon -- or $200 and more to fill a large SUV's tank -- would be a catalyst for economic, political and social change of profound national and global impact. We could face an economic squeeze, but it would be the pain before the gain.The U.S. economy absorbed a tripling in gas prices in the last six years without falling into recession, at least through March. Ravenous demand from China and India could see prices further double in the next few years -- and jumpstart the overdue process of weaning ourselves off fossil fuels.Consider the world of good that would come of pricing crude oil and gasoline at levels that would strain our finances as much as they're straining international relations and the planet's long-term health: 1. RIP for the internal-combustion engineThey may contain computer chips, but the power source for today's cars is little different than that which drove the first Model T 100 years ago. That we're still harnessed to this antiquated technology is testament to Big Oil's influence in Washington and success in squelching advances in fuel efficiency and alternative energy.Given our achievement in getting a giant mainframe's computing power into a handheld device in just a few decades, we should be able to do likewise with these dirty, little rolling power plants that served us well but are overdue for the scrap heap of history.2. Economic stimulusNecessity being the mother of invention, $8 gas would trigger all manner of investment sure to lead to groundbreaking advances. Job creation wouldn't be limited to research labs; it would rapidly spill over into lucrative manufacturing jobs that could help restore America's industrial base and make us a world leader in a critical realm.The most groundbreaking discoveries might still be 25 or more years off, but we won't see massive public and corporate funding of research initiatives until escalating oil costs threaten our national security and global stability -- a time that's fast approaching. 3. Wither the Middle East's cloutThis region that's contributed little to modern civilization exercises inordinate sway over the world because of its one significant contribution -- crude extraction. Aside from ensuring Israel's security, the U.S. would have virtually no strategic or business interest in this volatile, desolate region were it not for oil -- and its radical element wouldn't be able to demonize us as the exploiters of its people.In the near term, breaking our dependence on Middle Eastern oil may well require the acceptance of drilling in the Alaskan wilderness -- with the understanding that costly environmental protections could easily be built into the price of $8 gas. 4. Deflating oil potentatesOn a similar note, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez and Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad recently gained a platform on the world stage because of their nations' sudden oil wealth. Without it, they would face the difficult task of building fair and just economies and societies on some other basis.How far would their message resonate -- and how long would they even stay in power -- if they were unable to buy off the temporary allegiance of their people with vast oil revenues? 5. Mass-transit developmentAnyone accustomed to taking mass transit to work knows the joy of a car-free commute. Yet there have been few major additions or improvements to our mass-transit systems in the last 30 years because cheap gas kept us in our cars. Confronted with $8 gas, millions of Americans would board buses, trains, ferries and bicycles and minimize the pollution, congestion and anxiety spawned by rush-hour traffic jams. More convenient routes and scheduling would accomplish that.6. An antidote to sprawlThe recent housing boom sparked further development of antiseptic, strip-mall communities in distant outlying areas. Making 100-mile-plus roundtrip commutes costlier will spur construction of more space-efficient housing closer to city centers, including cluster developments to accommodate the millions of baby boomers who will no longer need their big empty-nest suburban homes.Sure, there's plenty of land left to develop across our fruited plains, but building more housing around city and town centers will enhance the sense of community lacking in cookie-cutter developments slapped up in the hinterlands. 7. Restoration of financial disciplineFar too many Americans live beyond their means and nowhere is that more apparent than with our car payments. Enabled by eager lenders, many middle-income families carry two monthly payments of $400 or more on $20,000-plus vehicles that consume upwards of $15,000 of their annual take-home pay factoring in insurance, maintenance and gas.The sting of forking over $100 per fill-up would force all of us to look hard at how much of our precious income we blow on a transport vehicle that sits idle most of the time, and spur demand for the less-costly and more fuel-efficient small sedans and hatchbacks that Europeans have been driving for decades. 8. Easing global tensionsUnfortunately, we human beings aren't so far evolved that we won't resort to annihilating each other over energy resources. The existence of weapons of mass destruction aside, the present Iraq War could be the first of many sparked by competition for oil supplies.Steep prices will not only chill demand in the U.S., they will more importantly slow China and India's headlong rush to make the same mistakes we did in rapidly industrializing -- like selling $2,500 Tata cars to countless millions of Indians with little concern for the environmental consequences. If we succeed in developing viable energy alternatives, they could be a key export in helping us improve our balance of trade with consumer-goods producers. Additional considerationsWeaning ourselves off crude will hopefully be the crowning achievement that marks the progress of humankind in the 21st Century. With it may come development of oil-free products to replace the chemicals, pharmaceuticals, plastics, fertilizers and pesticides that now consume 16% of the world's crude-oil output and are likely culprits in fast-rising cancer rates.By its very definition, oil is crude. It's time we develop more refined energy sources and that will not happen without a cost-driven shift in demand.

Topic by Keith-Kid    |  last reply