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What would cause every other cylinder not to fire on a big block chevy?

In my truck I have a 366 big block chevy motor and cylinders 2, 3, 5 and 8 are not getting spark and the firing order is 1,8,4,3,6,5,7,2. So I am not getting spark to every other cylinder I have an H.E.I distributor. I am thinking it could be the ignition module but am not sure any help is appreciated.

Question by vince 09    |  last reply


Homemade Jet Truck with 2700 HP

Jets keep getting added on to other items. Just a few days ago it was a bike and now it's a truck. This combination weighs in at 6,600 pounds with 2 occupants and still takes 8.5 seconds to hit 60 mph, but just think of the looks on other drivers' faces when you fire it up on the highway. Jet Truck

Topic by fungus amungus  


my son wants firetruck lights

So my 3 year old has his heart set on being a fire truck for halloween - but he wants to have the lights on his head ... does anyone know how I might go about making a hat with flashing lights?  and where I would need to go shop to find the lights, wire, etc...

Topic by Mino_33    |  last reply


So if you purchased a used ambulance... What would you do with it?

I work at a private ambulance company, and I made friends with the head mechanic and found out he may sell me a used diesel ambulance, fully functioning, for a little more than $1000. In order to justify my purchase, I would need an idea of what I could construct out of the ambulance I would now have in my possession.  My first thought was: A-TEAM VAN REPLICA I would speak with a couple tech colleges and offer them the ambulance for a semester, free of charge, for them to train on. It would be a prime example of the real world of a diesel mechanic's future career. Then go to the same, or a new tech college and find the car detailing or modification department and let them create the projected A-TEAM replica van. I would not only let them use a fully operational vehicle to modify to their liking, I would also use my above average graphic arts skills, and work history in direct mail advertising, to design a mailing to put out for them promoting their school and department of it, and then show awesome before and after pictures of the ambulance, and use it as an attentioN-getter to draw new students into their programs. A-TEAM VAN, with paint mods and maybe diesel engine modifications. ...Or I could mount large speakers in the external cabinets that i could just open up and lock them at 45 degrees, and stand in the middle of the back doors with a microphone and a couple computers mixing dance music. ...The lights and sirens and PA horns are all still in it and working.... I am just trying to drum up some of your creative passions and make you get out your thinking caps to run ideas by me and see what I might be able to do with this new toy! Lets get the ball rolling! I say an A-TEAM van would be sweet... What do you think? See attd, pictures.

Topic by Spitster1    |  last reply


Gasifying truck travels 10,000 miles

From the first time he saw Emmett "Doc" Brown fire up the Mr. Fusion home energy reactor in the "Back to the Future" movies, Dave Nichols has always wanted to make a vehicle run on garbage.Two decades after the trilogy, the 42-year-old home builder and auto shop owner from eastern Connecticut isn't traveling through time in a DeLorean, yet. But he's modified his 1989 Ford F150 pickup truck to run on wood, leaves, cardboard and other "biomass" with a fuel system that he says expels virtually no pollution.The technology is called gasification, and it's been around since the 1800s, when it was used for street lamps and cooking. It even powered some vehicles during World War II, but faded away under oil's dominance.Associated Press ArticleRelevant Instructable

Topic by Kiteman    |  last reply


Waterspout!

On my way to work this morning I passed an amazing sight: a fountain of water shooting 50 feet into the air. A fire hydrant had come off (I wish I'd seen that bit) and the water from the main was spouting to the sky. I've often been vaguely impressed with the concept of water pressure in cities - it just comes out the faucet! What is pushing it? You used to have to pump water to get it Up to where you want it. This sight really brings that home, the massive pressures running underneath the streets in modern cities. It's highly impressive. When I first arrived there was simply the waterspout, but fire trucks and firemen arrived very shortly and started playing around in the water. One almost had his hat knocked off by it. It wasn't clear what they were doing in there, and I don't know how they were planning to get it under control again. The grocery store on the corner lost its awnings from the weight of water falling on them.

Topic by rachel    |  last reply


what can i make out of nxt?

I have one lego nxt 2.0 set, along with this big techinc fire truck. what can I make out of it? i need good ideas.

Question by the poodleo    |  last reply


Could I build a giant crossbow?

using a section of a leaf spring from a truck, put it on a substantial piece of lumber, pull it back with an electric winch and remotely fire broomstick sized bolts

Question by t0mbutler    |  last reply


Weak spark (orange glow) on late model pickup truck

So  I have a 95 chevy C-1500 5.7 V8, Been having some progressively worse problems with it running rough and hesitating when accelerating. I will be re-timing it soon but that is a separate issue for the moment, When I tested the ignition system I noticed the spark tester was glowing orange/red instead of blue. (I can't even get my timing light to fire) It was due for new plugs and wires so I replaced both. The Ignition coil is less then a year old and I just finished replacing the Rotor and distributor cap. Still have an orange spark. I really need to fix this before I can time it, Any Ideas?

Question by Wired_Mist    |  last reply


house airconditioning pipe insulation smells like burning truck brakes?

I smelled "burning rubber" in my garage; noticed that rubberized insulation on pipes leading outside to the a/c compressor was worn, aged, and peeling. (20 yr old pipes) Question: Does a/c pipes get hot, causing enough heat to melt insulation? The pipes run thru the exterior wall, up and into the garage, to the central air unit. Is the insulation only outside, or the entire length of pipes? Is this repairable or should I call an expert (that will probably charge me an arm and a leg!!) What type of fix-it material do I buy? Can I get this at Home Depot or Lowe's? Why am I smelling it in the first place and where is the smell coming from?? Can this cause a fire!! Thanks.

Question by normreyes315    |  last reply


Thieves Steal 200 Ton Bridge

I was always impressed by pranks such as the fire truck on the Great Dome at MIT, but over in Russia some thieves went waaayyy beyond that with some criminal shenanigans. These guys walked off (OK, drove) with 200 tons of metal from a bridge to be sold as scrap. It was all done in the middle of the night and it's also the only road to a heating plant. All the workers will now need to find new ways to get to the plant.So... how'd they do it? linkvia Neatorama

Topic by fungus amungus    |  last reply


Use for dead cell phones

Is there any use at all for a discontinued cell phone? If there is please let me know. I have 3 or 4 dead cell phones and I don't know what to do.

Topic by BEAST14    |  last reply


Anyone got tips on leaning out a 2.8L chevy V6 stock carb? Answered

Mine likes to blow BLAAAACK smoke out when I 'punch it' also, lately its been getting around 11mpg.... though, it fires up absolutely fantastic when its -20 or -30 F

Question by Junk_Wizard    |  last reply


Best way to have internet in "shop" in backyard?

My shop is in my back yard about a 100 ft from my house. I'm going to be renting a trencher and running direct burial wires out there for power (they wont be in conduit). I plan to run water, cable and phone lines out there as well. I had done this for a previous building that I had out there that unfortunately was lost due to a fire (neighbor had been burning leaves and thought he had put the fire out completely, but sometime during the night, the leaves had apparently been still smoldering underneath and reignited and I woke up to the sound of an explosion, which was my gas cans for my mowers out there, and the building and all my tools and hobbies etc., not to mention my truck which was parked out there, all lost in the fire) Anyway, I have a bunch of cable I could run from my router in the house, but I was curious if anyone knew if I should put it in conduit, and also, if there might be a problem with "interference" from the electric cables, and if there might be a problem with the distance. I guess another option would be to go wireless, but I'm concerned about the distance and quality. If any wireless suggestions I would appreciate it. Thanks for any answers.

Question by stevecinstrfme    |  last reply


How can I combine my 400watt and 750watt AC/DC inverters to get 1000+ wattage out of them?

I have both inverters and they both still work.  Instead of going to buy an expensive 1000 plus watt inverter I'm looking for a simple way to just combine the two I have to handle the wattage I need them for.  I go camping a lot and I like having hot coffee in the mornings, so I need an inverter to handle a coffee pot.  I could stoke the fire and put a perculator over it or crank up the generator and plug in the pot but I'm a simple guy who likes simply plugging in the coffee pot to my truck! 

Question by WildBill76    |  last reply


Today Has Been Strange...

Anyone else notice? It started small, then got huge. First, my friend's cell phone somehow got from his pocket to into his backpack, without being touched. My other friend (when changing for PE/weights) noticed he had been walking all day with an ipod cord in his shoe. I found a penny on the ground, put it in my pocket, then it somehow turned into seven pennies when I put my hand back in a minute later. The grand finally, I get a call from mom telling me my neighbor's lung collapsed and to get over there ASAP. Mazee was frantic, everyone was frantic, the door was locked, I stepped in dog poo, the fire truck came, couldn't make it up the long, steep, driveway. The ambulance came, was able to make it up, and took her to the hospital. There, my day all in a nutshell.

Topic by Spl1nt3rC3ll    |  last reply


Shooting at UT Austin

Wow. September 28, 2010 at 4:12 pm The university is closed. Due to the events of today, the campus is closed. Unless you are needed for essential operations, all faculty, staff and students are urged to leave campus. Students who live on campus may return to their residence halls. Because the area around the Perry Castenada Library (PCL) is an actively investigated crime scene it is urged that area be avoided. As you leave the campus, please exit the campus from north exits. Employees who ride buses to work may catch the bus at Dean Keeton or at on 23rd and San Jacinto. Please go to http://www.utexas.edu/parking/ for shuttle information. If you are in buildings near the PCL, please exit buildings from exits away from PCL. Please direct any questions to 1-866-657-9400 Announced September 28, 2010 at 2:06 pm ---------------------------------------------- Important Numbers * Emergency Information Call 512-232-9999 * University Police Call 911 or 512-471-4441 from any campus phone * Environmental Emergency 24-Hour Hotline: Call 512-471-3511 * Fire Emergency Dial 911 from any campus phone or call UTPD at 512-471-4441 * University Health Services 24-Hour Nurse Advice Line: Call 512-475-6877 * Facilities Services Emergency Call 512-471-2020 ----------------------------------------------   Text Message Alerts You can sign up for campus text alerts to get emergency text messages delivered to your mobile device. --------------------------------------------------------------------   Gunman opens fire at UT in Austin, kills himself By KELLEY SHANNON, Associated Press Writer Kelley Shannon, Associated Press Writer – 23 mins ago AUSTIN, Texas – A student wearing a dark suit and a ski mask opened fire Tuesday with an assault rifle on the University of Texas campus before fleeing into a library and fatally shooting himself. No one else was hurt. The shooting began near a fountain in front of the UT Tower — the site of one of the nation's deadliest shooting rampages more than four decades ago, when a gunman ascended the clock tower and fired down on dozens of people. Within hours of Tuesday's gunfire, the school issued an all-clear notice, but the university remained closed, and the area around the library was still considered a crime scene. "Our campus is safe," school President Bill Powers said. Austin Police Chief Art Acevedo expected the school to be "completely open and back to normal" by Wednesday morning. Authorities identified the gunman as 19-year-old Colton Tooley, a sophomore math major. His parents did not immediately respond to a message left by The Associated Press. The 50,000-student university had been on lockdown while officers with bomb-sniffing dogs carried out a building-by-building manhunt. After the gunfire, authorities searched for a possible second shooter, but they eventually concluded the gunman acted alone. Confusion about the number of suspects arose because shots were fired in multiple locations, and officers received varying descriptions from witnesses, campus police Chief Robert Dahlstrom said. Before reaching the library, the gunman apparently walked for several blocks wearing a mask and dark clothing and carrying an automatic weapon, witnesses said. Construction worker Ruben Cordoba said he was installing a fence on the roof of a three-story building near the library when he looked down and made eye contact with the suspect. "I saw in his eyes he didn't care," Cordoba said. The gunman continued down the street, firing three shots toward a campus church, then changed direction and fired three more times into the air, Cordoba said. A garbage truck driver leaped out of his vehicle and ran away, as did a woman carrying two babies, the construction worker said. "I'm not scared, but I was scared for the people around me," Cordoba said. Randall Wilhite, an adjunct law professor, said he was driving to class when he saw "students start scrambling behind wastebaskets, trees and monuments," and then a young man carrying an assault rifle sprinting along the street. "He was running right in front of me ... and he shot what I thought were three more shots ... not at me. In my direction, but not at me," Wilhite said. The professor said the gunman had the opportunity to shoot several people, but he did not. Police said it was unclear whether the gunman was targeting anyone with the AK-47. Oscar Trevino, whose daughter works on campus, said she told him she was walking to work near the library when she heard two shots behind her. She started to run and fell down. She said she later heard another shot. "She's freaking out. I'm trying to calm her down. I've just been telling her I love her and relax, everything's fine," Trevino said. Acevedo said officers were able to track the gunman's movements with the help of students who "kept pointing in the right direction." The police chief said he believes the gunman ran into the library as officers closed in on him, then shot himself in the head on the sixth floor. Police did not fire any shots, Acevedo said. Powers credited the school's crisis-management plan and social networking for quickly warning students, faculty and staff. The university's text messaging system reaches more than 43,000 people, he said. Laura Leskoven, a graduate student from Waco, said she was in a media management class when she received a text message from the university saying there was an armed person near the library. For the next 3 1/2 hours, Leskoven and about 30 of her classmates sat in a locked conference room trying to keep tab on events through Twitter, blogs and text messages. "We were kind of shocked," Leskoven said. "Our professor said, 'Well, we need to get upstairs' because we were on the first floor of the building." Student Joshua Barajas said he usually is in the library in the mornings but was delayed Tuesday when he made a rare stop for coffee. "These little mundane decisions could save your life. If I hadn't stopped for coffee — and I never stop for coffee because it's $4 — I could have been in that building," Barajas said. "It's creepy. I don't even want to think about it." On Aug. 1, 1966, Charles Whitman went to the 28th floor observation deck at the UT clock tower in the middle of campus and began shooting at people below. He killed 16 people and wounded nearly three dozen before police killed him about 90 minutes after the siege began. ___ Associated Press writers April Castro and Jim Vertuno in Austin, Ramit Plushnick-Masti in Houston, and Diana Heidgerd in Dallas contributed to this report.

Topic by AngryRedhead    |  last reply


Multi-function, multi-materials workshops?

I'm on a small rural acreage. My shop situation is that I’ve got two separate, fairly compact spaces for working with wood (or general “handyman” repairs for the home) and for working with metal (cutting, welding, grinding, etc). My metal area is where I also often work with small-engine equipment. These spaces are located inconveniently, separated by nearly 100 feet! I think about how I might like to combine functions under one roof. So I’m posting to try to coax some of you people to show me how you may have done this. Or examples you've found on the internet (give URLs). Obviously, no one wants to get sawdust into an area where torch flames or electric-welding sparks could cause a hazard. And you wouldn’t want to get engine lubricants or solvents mixed up with wood projects. Discussion and description are fine, but I’d really like to see pictures or floor-plan diagrams if possible.  I need examples that represent modest investment, as I could probably only afford to build an enclosure of about 16x24 ft, with a bay door. ( Yes - could probably learn something from shops that are somewhat bigger than this.) In grandfather's day, farm shops were usually multi-purpose. You know, for "bench carpentry", and maintaining or servicing the truck or tractor, welding bailer components back together, etc. Often had a tablesaw, maybe a bandsaw - besides the hoist, welders, socket wrenches. I suppose sometimes a fire did occur in one shop or another, but probably not often.  I'd like to see some more modern versions, rather than just the "version" I have in terms of vague memories. Thanks.

Question by Joel_BC    |  last reply


Little girl's bedroom with Hacked-Ikea bed

My two year old outgrew her "Princess Toddler bed" and it was time to move her to a regular bed. She has gone from Cradle, to interim playpen, to crib, to fire truck toddler bed (because it was the one with the highest sides we could find when she started jumping out of her crib at 10 months), then to princess bed.. Even though the rest of our house is decorated using modern decor, I really wanted to keep the "French" theme I did when I originally setup her nursery... Because this was her 6th bed, the thought of spending $899 and up for a bed in this category (and not even made out of wood) I got discouraged and decided to buy an inexpensive IKEA bed. When I arrived at IKEA and started looking through the options, again I decided to hold off and not buy anything. As I was leaving the store, I found various items on sale. One of the items was an unfinished bed, for $30!!!! The bed was low to the ground like we needed it. The unfinished wood was not something I wanted, but for $30 I could live with it. At home depot, I purchased decorative wood applique's for the headboard and the foot board ($12 for both). On my way to the cash register I discovered that home depot sells pre-fab unfinished table legs. These legs would make perfect posts for a bed!!! I glued the appliques, screwed and glued the legs in. Then I went online and ordered Milk Paint (non-toxic, no smell, natural paint) in cream and also in white... A few days later it arrived, and I was able to paint the entire bed in about 2 hours (with re-coats). I am very happy with the results. Her room is "a work in progress, her bed is done.

Topic by SniperEve    |  last reply


I need a way for my dog to climb up to my loft bed from the floor-can't find a long enough dog ramp

How can I turn my Loft Bed wooden ladder into a climbing ramp for my small 19 pound dog to climb up into the loft bed? I have a nice wooden ladder to the loft bed, but the wooden rungs are about 10" apart -too far for my small dog to climb up that 45 degree angle Any ideas? OR ideas for a long enough dog ramp/stairs  (I do not see any long enough for sale anywhere that would reach a loft bed ---and not be too steep.)  The longest ones I have seen available seem to reach from the ground to the tailgate or the back of a truck or the like.  I thought of adding a layer of carpeting to the loft bed ladder, with possibly some kind of strips for my small, agile 19 pound  Mini Eskimo mix dog. She is usually cautiously timid of unstable situations or  obstacles in her way, although she jumps easily from the floor to regular height bed.  Also, I guess i will need to be able to lift up or off whatever dog climbing material I put on it, so that I can  convert it back to something I can climb up into the loft bed too! Unless I build something (maybe from sturdy shipping boxes covered in carpet (I have plenty of carpeting that I could cover a series of large rectangular somehow strung together and that would be flexible (kind of like a roll-out fire-escape ladder is flexible) the rectangular boxes when sealed are quite strong and light weight, and  that would be light weight enough to flip up or down, but I need help on the engineering part of designing and constructing something from boxes or long pieces of carpeting or or from the human  wooden loft ladder to make it more dog-friendly.  Any ideas, or am I just an unrealistic dreamer?

Question by JudySue    |  last reply


Using LiPo batteries in coil guns

Hello all, this is my first post! I have been theorizing for a while about coilguns, and have been doing calculations. here is how it goes: A single Lithium polymer battery can hold up to 3.3 Ah and discharge at about 30c (safely). We multiply 3.3Ah by 30c and get 99 A of continuous discharge. That’s a LOT of current, but, it is still not enough to fire a good projectile. So, I’m planning on having four of these hooked up in parallel to give out 396A. This is quite a bit of dangerous current, so my wiring will have to be gauge-perfect. The magnetic field that this produces is about 9.9 teslas, as  twice much as your average MRI machine. Yes, I’m utilizing a miniature MRI to shoot stuff. If you want to know how much force an MRI puts out, here is a great video to show you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BBx8BwLhqg. I am planning on having a 2,000 turn coil, with the average distance from the projectile being 1cm. The ammunition is going to be BB bullets, which means our cross-sectional area is at least 7.65*10-4m2. Using those numbers, the initial force on the BB is 3,015,030N. This is enough to lift up 25 semi-trucks. On paper, this seems magnificent. However, I’m accounting for about 2% efficiency, taken into account at this step, giving us 60,300N. This is still an enormous force to take to a .5g BB I’m implementing the Impulse to be .05s using standardized E = F * t,  this gives us 3,015 joules of energy. Huh. that’s way more than we should expect. Let’s take into account the 2% efficiency rating again, and we get a more realistic number: 60 joules. 60 joules is ridiculous for a BB pellet. We’ll use Ek = 1/2*m*V2 to solve for V. I got about 1,553 m/s. This is faster than most guns shoot regular bullets. I will be using a 2-stage setup, and will make sure to  use proper electrical equipment. My question to you is; How accurate are these calculations? if I build this thing, what can I excpect?

Topic by bjohnson45    |  last reply


Memories.....like the corners of our minds......

Some fond memories: How many do you remember ?Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.Ignition switches on the dashboard.Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.Real ice boxes.Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner or an open hearth.Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.Older Than Dirt Quiz:Count all the ones that you remember, NOT the ones you were told about! Your ratings at the bottom. 1. Blackjack chewing gum 2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water 3. Candy cigarettes 4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles 5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes 6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers 7. Party lines 8. Newsreels before the movie 9. P.F. Flyers10. Butch wax11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)12. Peashooters13. Howdy Doody14. 45 RPM records15. S&H; Green Stamps16. Hi-fi's17. Metal ice trays with lever18. Mimeograph paper19. Blue flashbulb20. Packards21. Roller skate keys22. Cork popguns23. Drive-ins24. Studebakers25. Wash tub wringersIf you remembered 0-5 = You're still youngIf you remembered 6-10 = You are getting olderIf you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt ! (PS: This is me :-) )I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.'Senility Prayer'...God grant me...The senility to forget the people I never liked;The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,And the eyesight to tell the difference.''Hey Dad,' one of my kids asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up ? ' 'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the food was slow.''C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat ?''It was a place called 'at home, I explained. 'Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:Some parents NEVER owned their own house (my Dad did, it cost him $14,000 for a 3 bedroom rancher), wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.My parents never drove me to soccer practice. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 8. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger. I was 14 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.We didn't have a car until I was 9. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a 'machine.' It started by pushing a button on the dashboard. I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning.. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it ?MEMORIES from a friend:My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

Topic by Goodhart    |  last reply


And now I shall bore you with details of my vacation.

Yes, I know, everyone likes to talk about their vacations and nobody wants to hear about them, kind of like dreams. Must be a quirk in the human conditions. So read on, or not. My wife decided she wanted to go on a cruise, now I had prejudged cruising and had no desire to ever go on one. But she searched around and found one that had a fishing in Key West excursion to convince me to go. Well she planned the whole thing, did all the work and really made the vacation happen. There was one small moment when we decided to cancel the cruise for financial reasons (her transmission went out) but discovered we were one day past the cancellation deadline, so we must have been destined. So anyways, on with the vacation. On the first day we drove down to Miami, about four hours, not to bad. We were so early that we decided to visit Fairchild Tropical Garden. Fairchild is a must see for those with a horticultural bent, eighty some odd acres of lush tropical gardens, though I still felt it wasn't quite as nice as Leu Gardens here. We had lunch at the garden before proceeding to the hotel. We stayed at the Holiday Inn, cheap but surprisingly clean with a friendly staff, and a view of the port. Unfortunately my wife became ill from the lunch, and I don't mean just a little ill, but the throwing up out both ends ill. She was so sick that she was curled up in bed crying. We thought we might have to cancel the cruise. But I loaded her up with acidophilus capsules and a dose of a medicine I take for a condition I have and told her we would decide come morning. Come morning she was feeling better but weak, so we decided we'd continue on with the expedition. That brings us to day two. Getting on the boat is similar to boarding the airplane with one noticeable difference, Port security is infinitely more professional than airport security. We only made one mistake, we didn't check our bags. Since you can board hours before the rooms are ready we were stuck with our luggage. There was a moment of Zen when we boarded, they greet you with food and drinks in an atmosphere of sybaritic luxury, but since it was Christmas they were playing music, the song they were playing when we boarded was 'Do They Know It's Christmas'. The rest of the day is exploring the ship and discovering I get seasick, yea! Day Three Nassau, we have swimming with stingrays and snorkeling planned, afterwards we plan on visiting Ardastra Gardens on our own. Swimming with stingrays was pretty cool, and I enjoyed the snorkeling, my wife who doesn't care for the ocean spent her time sunbathing. Eventually that planned excursion was over but we never got to the garden, I was too darned tired from swimming for three hours and my wife was sunburnt. So, back to the cruise ship to do what else, but eat. Day four Cococay, Royal Caribbean's private island, I have snorkeling planned, my wife has sunbathing. Now, admittedly, we're here at the discretion of the cruise line, so the snorkeling area is prescribed, but it's not bad, there's an area of about 1/2 an acre inside a breakwater and about 5-8 acres outside the breakwater. But here's the interesting thing, of all the people snorkeling, only 5 went outside the breakwater! Which means we each had an acre or more to ourselves (there was an additional area that was closed due to the currents). I did find two 'artifacts' while snorkeling here, the first was a dive glove, so I kept that as a 'trophy', the second, I was snorkeling in about 20 feet of water and spotted a distinctly man made object, a doughnut shape, so I swam down and dug up a bottle top, but not just any bottle top but the top of a pre-civil war 'case' Gin bottle. I though that was pretty cool. Now I've considered the idea that the area was 'salted' but I can't quite believe they would 'salt' with broken glass. So I think it was a genuine find. I, of course, returned it to where I found it after taking a picture. Day five Key West, I'm really in a bad mood this morning, because we have to do a 'papers please' inspection with ICE, but then it gets MUCH worse. There's an envelope under the door, my fishing trip has been canceled, lack of participants, the minimum was 5 people, I'm the only one who signed up. Anyways, wise to the ways of Gov't, I convince my wife to show up early for the immigration control, reasoning that 'It's better to be 15 minutes early and wait 30 minutes, than be 15 minutes late and wait 3 hours', guy looks at my ID, asks where I was born, they punch my Seapass (onboard ID/CC). So we go looking for another excursion, my wife wants me to go Kayaking, but I'm seriously exhausted from the past two days of snorkeling. So we decide the Butterfly Conservatory and the Aquarium are where we'll go. The Butterfly conservatory was beautiful, with dozens of species flying everywhere, landing on you and a selection of birds thrown in for good measure, The aquarium, well, umm, geez, I don't want to be mean, but I wouldn't go back. After that we walked around and enjoyed the architecture and visited the Mel Fisher Museum since I was hooked on books about treasure hunting as a kid (I have a metal detector, the most valuable object I ever found was my wife's wedding ring several weeks after she lost it.) And then back to the boat for more eating. Last day, they get you off the ship early, here, you don't want to check your luggage, if you do, you don't get off until they let you, if you carry your luggage, you can get off the ship first thing at 7:30 am. So once we're off the ship all that is left is the customs and the drive back. Customs was nothing, you hand a guy a form and you are done. The drive back was mostly uneventful until the last rest stop, then, of course, the truck won't start. Well it will start, but it's stumbling and sound like only one bank of cylinders are firing, in desperation I stand on the gas and it picks up, think that last fill up had water in it. I baby it the rest of the way home by drafting behind a truck and keeping to 65 and, obviously, we get home. So, goods, bads, and impressions The goods. The ships are insane about cleanliness these days, I noted that there was one individual who seemed to do nothing but wipe the stair handrails with disinfectant continually. The service was impeccable. The food was variable, but it varied from just good to fantastic, it was always hot and fresh, and you never saw the same item twice. The room also had a revolving menu of movies to watch, so I finally got to see Wall-e. The Steward cleans the room twice a day and turns down your bed while you are at dinner. The excursions take a lot of the 'what do you want to do? I don't know, what do you want to do?' out of the trip. And the room was surprisingly quiet. The bad, I realize that the excursions are done through independent contractors and therefore they are not the ones who canceled my excursion, but they could have informed me before hand that there was the possibility that it would be canceled. They push the drinks and the pictures, learn to say no. During the life boat drill the videographer comes up and says 'Can I get a wave from everybody?' and I turned to him and said 'No', he came back with 'Are you kidding me?' and I said 'I can't speak for all these people, but I'm NOT waving' LOL, he walked off. The elevators are slower than hell, if you use them, you will spend half your cruise waiting, use the stairs. Also there are six elevators amidships, three port, three starboard, when you push the elevator button, it only summons the three elevators on the side you push! Poor design, you can cut down the waiting by pushing the button on one side and quickly walking over and pushing the other button, but, of course, you have now tied up two elevators and are increasing others waiting times. Also, no one tells you that you will suffer dizziness after the cruise, both my wife and I have been having dizzy spells and a search shows it is pretty common. Oh, and I used a Walgreens waterproof disposable for the snorkeling, since you don't see any of those pix, you can guess how well it worked. Impressions Cruises are not for xenophobes! Not just the mix of passengers, but the crew is from all over the world, and I like that when they introduce themselves it was often 'Hello, I'm Melvin from the Philippines.' And as a member of the IBWF I enjoyed the diversity. The formal dining was assigned seating, but we only did it once, I was actually a little uncomfortable with the level of service, three waiters for two people? I'm not used to that. Lastly, tipping is expected, I feel that it should be included in the price of the cruise, so we did the pre paid tips, so we wouldn't have to deal with it. And finally, the myth of the 'ugly American' is just that, a myth, what I learned is that ALL tourists are 'Ugly' So, in Ebay speak, A++++++ Would Cruise again. If you read this far, you deserve a drink.

Topic by Tool Using Animal    |  last reply


The future of "mobile" energy...

Right now our current standard is still to use LI-Ion batteries when it comes to rechargable and power demanding devices.We all want more power for our phones, laptops or battery powered tools on the job.And we also want to be able to charge our batteries faster and faster.Back in the old days a D-Cell like lead acid battery in a flashlight was good for about 3 hours until it started to dim a bit.With up to 4 batteries inside they were not just heavy but also quite hazardous.Chargin was usually done over night and you just hoped they were not blowing up while charging.I spare you the other types that came after and that we still use as they all have their good and their bad sides.If we trust our marketing experts than quite soon we will only have electric cars on our roads and battery the size of a suitcase shall be able to run your car for hundreds of miles.The ideas of graphite based batteries or those using crystals and their forming reactions are all great and promising.Some will certainly make it to the consumer in a few years.The one thing that we are never told though is where all the energy to charge those batteries is supposed to come from.Replacing the combustion engine with electric motors is one thing but if no fossil fuel is used....Energy does not come out of thin air!Right now a lot of countries already struggle to provide a reliable power supply grid and distribution network.If you ever enjoyed a scorching hot day during a blackout caused by everyone using too much electricity you know what I mean...The population is growing as fast as the energy demand for our industries.Solar and wind are well and good but without proper storage solutions of not real use because no one can really predict how much they can produce.You know, weather and such things...If we trust our so called experts than all will come together really nice.By the time we have really powerful batteries we will have enough alternative energy supply chains up and running to keep them charged.I have a few issues with this entire concept, so let's see what other people have to about this:Imagine you have a nice and big cabin somewhere really remote and beautiful - but with no electricity for miles.Obvious solution for the modern hunter or nature lover is to invest into free energy.Free because that is how your solar, battery and inverter system would be advertised.You buy the stuff and after that all the electricity comes for free - the things pays for itself!Reality is a bit off though as you need to maintain and replace the costly batteries over time and such things.All this however totally changes for a residential home.Getting a huge solar system on your roof is no problem.Getting off the grid next to impossible.You see, once (or even before) you sign up for an electricity contract it is defined that your home is in a residential area.This brings certain limitations like the requirement to connect ot gas (if available), water, sewage and electricity.Only way to enjoy your "free" energy is by getting a good deal with your supplier.Some countries do it differently but around here it goes like this:Whatever you use still comes right off the grid.That is because your solar system really struggles to cope with load changes and providing surplus back to the grid.And since your meter is not capable ofworking properly with it either...To make it "fair" it is metered how much you use and how much you supply.Most companies here even do this on at least an hourly base - just to fair...For your bill the amounts are then adjusted.What you supplied is taken off.Sadly in most cases going negativ is not an option - if you provide more than what you use only your supplier is laughing.To make things worse what you supply is valued far lower than what you get from the grid.Often the difference is above 20%.Control....Around here quite a few people basically covered house, shed, carport and all with solar panels.This was while we had a great subsidy from the government to go solar...After now over three years most of these people still struggle to get anywhere near even for their investment.Without the grants the timeframe to break even was estimated to be around 12 years - which is about the time for when you need to replace the lot anyway and start over.Some do get nice savings on their bills though but families with kids not so much...If you have little to no chance to get your investment back before you have to replace it, then it is not really that much of a good deal after all.Imagine in town with hundreds of small houses everyone would be able to get the same money back for the electricity they provide...Pay 18 cents per kWh from the grid and get 18 cents perkWh for what you supply and once you provide more than you use you get money back.The providers won't allow this to happen as it means they not just loose some money but also they would lose control.How could they justify another price hike?How could they explain the blackouts?Why should tey pay you at all... ;)If a city with enough open and unused space would decide to go solar on a huge scale and while add also add a lot wind turbines....Someone would need the electricity provided and someone need to step in for those times where demand is above supply.Here the old triangle of power goes into full swing....You see a city or town would need also need a sub station to handle the electricity and to distribute it to the town houses, shops and so on.Funny thing is that only a "provider" can do such things.Doing it privat is usually only possible in really remote areas, like big mining outposts that just have no other option than using generators or solar/wind.And in most areas a town or city is no longer allowed to be a provider of electricty - at least not in the drirect form.Buying in bulk is no problem, having your own supply system however is not in the books.Right now most, if not all the big wind and solar farms are owned and operated by energy providers.There is billionaires everyhwere who could build a solar and wind farm the size of Texas if they really wanted but they won't do it either...Starts with the land, goes over the usage rights and won't end with activists claiming how bad it all is.Means it won't happen and if it does then the energy providers get together and claim they guy might have money but does not have the right to provide energy unless he actuall starts a corresponding company and plays by their unwritten rules.Can we still dream about it though?The dream is kept alive like the fire of hope that is only a tiny amber.If you sign up for electricity you are asked if you would like to pay bit extra so your electricity comes from alternative sources.Why is that bad, after all it is green?The initial investment might be huge for a wind farm but after that it is more or less just providing mone out of thin air.You can look the cost up for the new windfarm build near you.Same for the electricity prices in that area.And also the expected output of the entire farm.Do the math and calculate how quickly they break even....Once they do it only profit but you still pay the extra to go green.A bit like the new road that came with a toll....After 5 years the motorists paid it off but 10 years later they are still being charged while the road is disintegrating...Now add electric cars and our constantly rising consumption to the mix...We can't provide the electricity ourselfs as we don't get fully paid for it, we can go off grid either.The atom as the source of electricity is being phased out slowly as well.Finally as some might say, considering the thausands of years we have to deal with the produced waste and what aftereffects the storage might bring.Our providers will keep their grip on us for as long as they can.No government will stop them as in return they wouldn't have electricity.A cold war if you like.We never cared how much fuel our cars use until the OPEC decide to limit supplies and drive the prices up.And you can see the riches especially in Saudi Arabia.For most of the big OPEC players it really does not matter anymore whether or not they have oil or not.They make the same or even more money by other means and more modern means now.After this initial shellshock we woke up and decided that for the shopping trip of the wife a small car with just 4 cylinders will do.Overcrowded cities and roads also pushed us more into thinking small.Again it took force to go further, this time by governments slowy "going green".Emmissions, greenhouse gasses, polution, particles and corbon monoxide...Sounded all godd in the ads but it meant we could no longer afford our old car or even got banned from entering the town center with it.But a lot people still can't afford a modern car that meets the standards.Once they finally got the money and car the laws change again and they need yet again a newer car.This created a huge export and recyling market and profits for other people though.And what differenc did it all make in reality?While we were forced to improve and lose money countries like the US refused for years to even consider reducing the pollution.Countries like China and Russia even increased their pollution to impossible levels.We all remember how Bejing was literally shut down for the Olympics so the athletes have a chance to survive the games...We know how the pollution or global warming problem is misused to make money.The governments get huge payouts in the form of taxes from those cars that can't meet the specs.The dealer smiles with the increased sales of cars.And again the government smiles too as they get taxes from this as well.We know it happened before and is still happening with everything realted to fossil fuels, global warming and pollution, so why would electricity be any different?Reactors and coal fired power plants are phased out with basically nothing to replace them.Solar and wind will provide and till then we keep what we really need to keep....There is no plan for what comes after coal and the atom.There is no alternative.Batteries need electricity.And providers will always be the middleman controlling both the price and the availability.So how does this actually work you might wonder...No matter who invents or produces a new device to provide electricity - there is a very limited market for them.A farmer can't buy a full size wind generator and place it on his land...But an electricity provider can buy thausands of them....And if you go bigger than ask yourself who would need a 10 or 100MW fusion generator?Providing electricity is only a viable option if you go big and if you can sell the excess with a profit margin.Leaves only our electricity providers as customers.If you don't have to care about the buying price because it will be put down one way or the other onto your customers than it is like a credit.Only difference is that once it is paid off you start to get money back!Imagine that for your bank account ;)And if you know what you sell can have a very generous profit margin because your buyer does not care then the solar or wind farm will be quite costly to build..."We know we are not cheap, but who else can deliver you what you need?"And like our big supermarkets there will be an agreement on what the wind generator can cost.Ressources....Be it wind, be it solar or just the modern electric motor in your car - they all require stuff that is very limited on our planet.Take Neodyminum.Without it we have no wind generator or fancy motors as we wouldn't have powerful enough magnets.Vital elements and mineral required are only available in a few spots on our erth in quantities justifying mining them.I won't make this much longer than it already is, so please look up what is really needed to keep our future solow and wind projects alive.Then go and check where we can find thes things in good quantities.Once you did you might realise why the world tolerates the abuse of human rights, freedom or just self expression in other countries ;)If only China would stop today to export and sell their rare earths and prcious minerals basically our entire production worldwide would suffer quickly.Entire industries break down quickly and prices for certain things would literally explode.The US already started to re-open long abandoned mining projects as suddenly even the most costly operations become viable again.Think about this next time you fancy a world free of cars and truck using combustion engines ;)

Topic by Downunder35m    |  last reply


Funny Labels

These are hilarious!!! There all REAL funny product lables that people have found. Here's the link to where I got them: http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml Product Warnings: • "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet. • "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs. • "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. • "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron. • "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer. • "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer. • "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device. • "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. • "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan. • "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. • "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool. • "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant. • "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard. • "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn. • "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter. • "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image. • "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. • "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow. • "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater. • "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. • "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock." • "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box. • "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup. • "Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter." • "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee. • "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush. • "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. • "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old. • "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery. • "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion. • "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer. • "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. • "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod. • "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener. • "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener. • "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror. • "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski. • "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm. • "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty. • "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia. • "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone. • "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers. • "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink. • "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate. • "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant. • "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison. • "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757. • "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid. • "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller. • "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels. • "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck. • "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron. • "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine. • "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights. • "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume. • "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door. • "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. • "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets. • "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box. • "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box. • "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter. • "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy. • "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice. • "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. • "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan. • "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw. • "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer. • "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts. • "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing. • "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. • "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it." • "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds. • "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills. • "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle. • "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer. • "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. • "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame. • "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets. • "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack. • "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV. • "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack. • "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone. • "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch. • "Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions. See a scanned image. ________________________________________ Assurances: • "Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter. ________________________________________ Small Print From Commercials: • "Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store. • "Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean. • "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert. • "For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh. ________________________________________ Signs and Notices: • "No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere. • "Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950. • "These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church. • "All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire. • "Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine. • "Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic. • "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos. • "Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box. • "Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement. • "No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer. • "Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge. ________________________________________ Safety Procedures: • "Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building. • "In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp. ________________________________________ Ingredients: • "Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns. • "100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater. • "Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case. Materials: Covering: 100% Unknown. Stuffing: 100% Unknown." -- On a pillow. • "Cleans and refreshes without soap or water. Contains: Water, fragrance & soap." -- On the packet for a moist towelette. See a scanned image. ________________________________________ Instructions: • "Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch. • "Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills. • "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts. • "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11. • "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap. • "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper. • "Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner. • "Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits. • "In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual. • "Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill. • "The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position." -- Instructions for an espresso kettle. • "For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid." -- On a Domino's sandwich box. ________________________________________ Requirements: • "Optional modem required." -- On a computer software package.

Topic by LoneWolf    |  last reply