Wood Chest Renovation

Hi There I have a wooden chest that I was asked to restore. The chest is made of what appears normal pine, but it was painted over with a dark paint. The owner asked me to try and restore it to the original wood. My question is: 1. Obviously I would have to sand it, but what grit of sand paper do I use to get rid of the paint and to get the smooth surface? 2. What would be the best application after sanding, oil or varnish? The client is not a fan of a gloss finish so what would be the best option? Thanks Marcel

Topic by Temple Works   |  last reply


Renovating Old Photographs.

I have some old photographs slides which I have scanned and now have digital copies of them, some of them are well over 40 years old and the colour has deteriorated as would be expected. The main problem is that many of these have taken on a blue/purple cast, see example, does anyone know if their is a way that I an reduce this blueness please? And, yes, that is a very young me at my wedding in 1969!  I do not have Photoshop but I do have Pixelmator which is a similar application. Thanks for any help.

Topic by Allsop   |  last reply


Help! Alarm Clock Renovation

Alright, this is a crazy class project I've taken on, so bear with me. What I want Alarm clock display that can be custom programmed to a non-time sequence.  (IE: 666, 777, 888, etc.) Programming above sequence to blink repeatedly. Converting alarm clock from power cord to battery. (Not necessary, but one of the models has an old AM/FM radio display. Making this display move "randomly" would be amazing.) What I have Alarm clock #1:  Model No: KMC 500; "Electronic LED Alarm Clock"; Power supply AC 120V 60HZ 5W Alarm clock #2: Trade Name "Realistic"; Chronomatic-233; Model No: 12-1540; Frequency Range: AM 520-1620KHz  FM 88-108MHz; Power Supply AC 120V 60Hz 10W Cold soldering kit Limited budget If it would help, I could take pictures of the clocks mentioned above. They're from the 70's, with the "simulated walnut grain finish" and red display screens.

Topic by Kizoku 


Bray Entertainment Casting for Renovation/Design Show in Atlanta

Hey Everyone, My name is Tim and I am a casting associate at Bray Entertainment, a TV production company from NYC. We are scheduling shooting for a pilot this month so we are currently looking for an adventurous couple/family out in Atlanta that would like some help on a project from some great contractors/designers! If you are interested, please follow these instructions. If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer them. Casting Instructions: Bray Entertainment, Co-Creators of History Channel's Pawn Stars, is currently filming a Renovation Show Pilot in Atlanta. Do you wish you had a bigger budget? Do you need help making the most out of your space? Our contracting and designer teams are up for the challenge and want to help. We are currently seeking fun couples/families open to making the most of their renovation projects and need a little extra cash to make their dream space a reality. To be considered, please provide the following information to my email at timothy@brayentertainment.com : - Name - Contact info - Where you are located. - What space do you want us to consider? - What are the measurements of that room? - In terms of design and construction, what do you love? Hate? - Please provide a picture of yourself - Include pictures of the space as well. Thank you! Tim Rodgers 80 River St. Suite 5D Hoboken, NJ 07030 p: 212 993 8540

Topic by Christopher Bray 


How would i go about re-upholstering the inside of my car? Answered

What I mean is replacing the fabric on the seats, the doors, as the grey fabric in my Civic is astonishingly ugly . I would appreciate it if the solution you give is relatively cheap, as i'm 17. Thanks!

Question by Praetor d   |  last reply


Advice on making exterior more appealing.

I am in the process of renovating my house.  I have redone the porch with pvc balusters and columns but it still needs something and I don't know what it is.  Maybe the porch needs painted a different color or maybe shutters.  Im just not sure.  Anybody got any advice?

Topic by brian41527   |  last reply


Alternative housing - Where to begin? How do I get a warehouse for turning it into a loft?

I don't know what or how much money would be involved, but I don't think i can buy a normal house and i'm tired of apartments. I know it's possible to do this, but i don't know where to start. When I think of my dream home, I always picture all garage/work space and no real house. I spend most of my time working on a car, with DIY projects, Halloween experiments, and painting. I only come inside to sleep, pee, and eat. If I had something as big as a warehouse or old grocery store, I could live lofty in the top half and drive right in the bottom. It would be perfect. How do i do that? How much money do i need? what legalities would i face?

Question by kookamundi   |  last reply


HGTV Home Renovation & New England Patriots FLASH MOB!!!

HGTV is looking for football and home renovation fanatics, who would LOVE to be part of a FLASH MOB! If you love home makeovers, yard work and want to be part of a huge New England Patriots themed FLASH MOB, come volunteer your time and help homeowners renovate their backyard for a new TV show! WHERE: Foxboro, MA WHEN: Tues. May 8th Thurs. 10th Sat. 12th Wed. 16th (Come out for one day or all four!) Here’s your chance to meet new people, see how TV works and be part of a flash mob that will blow homeowners and TV viewers away! If you're interested and available on any of the dates, please RSVP yes and BE SURE to email us at renovationflashmob@gmail.com with your contact information, so we can get in touch with you about all the specifics!

Topic by Powderhouse 


Help!! Home Media- 4K, digital auto, remote placement

Hey! So I started renovating my living room and it's going much faster than i anticipated. I also upped the scope to move the TV and media items, and to do the professional job of wall jacks for everything so cables are hidden. I'm in a wall and nearly ready to do new drywall, so I need help planning this part I hadn't anticipated! Requirements: -Have media center placed in the corner, about 50' (as cable runs) away -potentially 4 HDMI items 4K ability for xbox, ps (50-60 fps) digital audio for surround sound that will be wired (I'm an audiophile, so I'd prefer optical to do it the best) other things I haven't thought of that will help keep the hard wiring relevant for the next 5-10 years I can: Run conduit for easier/future cable routing place wall jacks as needed behind the tv and in the media corner Like I said I didn't anticipate doing this at the same time, so I don't have a plan and need help. I wish I had time to search and learn the ins and outs, but what I've seen are HDMI splitters, signal degradation, wireless transmitters that only do 1080p, and fiber optic cable that is expensive. Does anyone have experience with this, or have a referral that I could post this on a different forum? Thank you in advance!!!

Topic by Phoenix17   |  last reply


how much concrete do i need? Answered

Ok folks im building a bushfire bunker and i need to know how much concrete i need to make 4 walls 10cm thick 2m high and 4m long what kind of concrete i need and what kind of mix it should be how i should mix it etc i have had almost no prior experiance concreting so any tips would be appreciated

Question by milamber   |  last reply


Can I remove the arm of a sofa and make it stable so someone can lean against the back at that point.

I have a heavy old sofa, good quality, overstuffed, with a fully enclosed frame. The back is the same height as the arms, straight back that curves slightly into the arms, rather than meeting at a 90 degree angle. I want to cut one of the arms off (to mesh with another sofa, to make an L shaped seating area) is this possible. Anyone know any resources online to guide me? or does anyone have tips. I was thinking I need to strip back covering, padding etc. Cut off the arm and trip and resew/staple the wadding/covering back in place, but I need to do something to take the weight of a person leaning against the back that is now unsupported by the arm....I assume....I was thinking of getting an upsidedown T-shaped piece of metal made up, the upright part to be screwed to the wood of the back, and the rest screwed onto the frame around seat level....and then put back wadding/cover as before.what do you think. would it work?

Question by edel   |  last reply



Any ideas for some cool, simple renovations/inventions for a bedroom?

Things to make life easier: light switch mods, desk drawer things...w/e

Question by thatshortkid17   |  last reply


battle for most views in its category

Pretty fun to watch  for most views in work shop , home renovation  category . Top 3 are close together .  https://www.instructables.com/tag/type-id/category-workshop/channel-home-renovation/?sort=VIEWS

Topic by coolbeansbaby68 


Camcorder Restoration?

So I have this old VHS camcorder that is sitting around my house. I want to make it into a decent filmmaking camera. however, I think the imager is bad, and the industry has moved away from VHS. So what I want to do is replace the bad Imager with a HD Imager, maybe a 35mm digital Imager. I also want to replace the VHS deck with a removable portable hard drive, set up to record in an industry standard file format. How much do you think this would cost? Can I be directed to a store that has these parts? Any other thoughts?

Question by AlternateLives   |  last reply


I want to move my CREATURE TOWER from ''home renovation'' to ''gardening'' Who can help. Hans Carlier ?

I want to move my CREATURE TOWER from ''home renovation'' to ''gardening'' Who can help. Hans Carlier ?

Question by hans carlier   |  last reply


Where do I put my latest knitting / soldering / home renovation project?

There have been a lot of changes here at Instructables.com, and we're about all of the great feedback we've received. While you're still getting used to the new categories and channels, take some time to poke around and familiarize yourself with what goes where. Living, for example, can mean a lot of things - recipes, sewing, finances, health & beauty, travel, and a whole lot more. Workshop is another great category to browse through.  We have new home renovation, metalworking and tools channels, just to name a few! So while you're cranking out more awesome new projects, and scoping all of the great new stuff, take some time to look around. ***My secret insider tip is to click the Browse link at the top of the page next to the Robot.  Then, when you click on a category listed on the left, it will give you a list of all the new channels therein! Happy hunting, and as always, feel free to contact us with your questions and praise.

Topic by scoochmaroo   |  last reply


LED accent lighting

I want to add LED accent lighting to the mirrors in my bathroom renovation. I installed receptacles behind each mirror Can I power a short LED light strip with a USB charging block plugged into a 120v receptacle?

Question by MONROEJOE   |  last reply


What tools do I need?

Hi, I recently moved out and have bought a new home that will require some renovations (I have some experience). However, I feel I will need to purchase a few tools, what are some tools that all DIYers should own. I have: Power drill Circular saw Jig saw Reciprocating saw Hack saw Hammer Wrenches other small tools What are some other tools I should purchase? I'm going to be doing some basic construction, drywall work, laying wood flooring and quite a bit of finishing work... maybe roof work and electrical down the road? Any help is greatly appreciated

Topic by JMH renovations   |  last reply


underground basement

Hi there, Am looking for people with ideas. I have just bought a property with a built in underground area. It just has small vents around the walls,and a single door for entry. Walls are cladded with double brick. Has anyone ever done  a conversion on anything similar?? Firstly I need ideas on what I can convert it to!!! Its the size of  a single garage. cheers

Topic by duggiew   |  last reply


How can I tell if a first floor wall is load bearing? Answered

Hi, I would like to remove the wall between my kitchen and dining room to open up the area.  How can I tell if the wall is load bearing? The wall is on the 1st floor, runs lengthwise to the house and is about in the middle of the house, but it doesn't travel the entire length of the house. Any help or advice is appreciated.

Question by JMH renovations   |  last reply


Need help reviving cast iron pots? Answered

Hey instructablers, During a home renovation I found these cast iron pots / cauldrons, they have seen better days but luckily the rust is only skindeep! The only problem is, I have no idea how to clean up and seal cast iron so its foodsafe. If any of you have experience with cast iron maintenance please chip in! Thank you,  Knut knackebrod

Question by knutknackebröd   |  last reply


Does anyone have any information to share about building a natural stone wall? the stone are from my property? Answered

Natural stone wall - anyone willing to share any information on building one?  I have the stone on my property - I want to build it behind my kitchen which is a renovated summer house that is half under the ground. I'm making a walk way behind it and need to put a wall to help keep the ground back.

Question by labsnme   |  last reply


How can I tell if I can loft my bedroom ceiling? Answered

Hi, I recently purchased a first home, and I decided it would be nice if I can loft the bedroom ceiling (using attic space that is currently wasted). How can I tell if this is even possible to do, and how much work is involved in something like this? I consider myself fairly handy, if that helps.

Question by JMH renovations   |  last reply


how to remove blackboard paint from a wall?

We're looking at possibly renovating an older home (circa 1943) & previous owners painted most of a bedroom wall w/ chalkboard paint. I don't think painting over it is going to work & need to know what to do with it. Such as, do I sand it down first? Wear a mask, I'm assuming? Or is there a really simple way of removing this monster from the wall? Thanks to everyone for a wonderful site & we look forward to your answers.

Question by sterlingbaydeb   |  last reply


Fire Pole!

My house has undergone some small renovations over the past two weeks, the best of which was just installed this morning: a fireman's pole for sliding down!My boyfriend has also got the ability to climb back up... I have not yet attempted that.Here are some pix and videos. The construction is not quite complete yet so it's still all sawdusty and unpainted - looks like a workshop more than a home, but you know it's at least half workshop anyway.Down the pole: Up the pole:

Topic by rachel   |  last reply


Insualtion of an existing tin roof?

Hi, I have an existing summer room with a single skin, 4" corrogated tin roof. It is attached to the roof of the home and I do not wish to rip it apart. I was thinking to install a none bearing set of 4"x2" timbers, a half in from the existin roof, then insulating with 1" x 4'x8' sheets of styrafoam sheets, then a vapour barrier nder this. My main concern is the condensation produced on the inside of the tin roof, when it warms up. If I insualet the way I,m intending to,will this stop this condensation or do i need to do more to prevent it.

Question by grandpa2011   |  last reply


Building a virtual campus

Are there any tools for building a virtual "walk through" model of real places? I'd like to model a set of buildings, provide photos from specific places of the walls of those buildings, and have the tool generate all the intermediate views, but I'll settle for "You are HERE facing NSEW and this is what you see." The idea is to preserve a bunch of artwork that students have drawn on the walls of the local school, before it's torn down for renovation. I'm assuming that the assorted games with world editors aren't quite up to the resolution needed to preserve artwork; correct me if I'm wrong. (although, building a model of a real school in the UT world editors is liable to get one in trouble these days, anyway. Sigh.) Cheap would be good...

Topic by westfw   |  last reply


What's the best type of solar water heater?

I am in the process of renovating a bathroom that hasn't been used since before i was born, which currently lacks a water heater. Being poor, it is very unlikely that i will be able to buy an on-demand heater for this bathroom, and i know how inefficient normal water heaters are, so i am looking into solar water heaters. I live in a sub desert climate, so catching sun is not a particularly big issue, but i am looking to find out what type of heater is most efficient, both as far as heating water, and cost. would i be better off with a passive, or active system, and what other recommendations do you have for solar water heating?

Question by cyc4015   |  last reply


How can I age new fabric which is glued to an old land yachting sail? Answered

My study association builds land yacht for own use. One of them, which was broken and outdated, recently is renovated such that it can be displayed next to the room of the board of the study association.  The sail we use for it is an original DN ice-yacht sail about 40 years old. For the looks we, and our faculty mechanical engineering, decided we should add logo's of our association and the TU/e on the sail. This is done, but now rises the problem. The new logo's/letters don't look right, way to young. How can we age the new fabric to the correct looks?

Question by ruudcreates   |  last reply


NEW HGTV series in development is casting in your community!

We are looking for homeowners with an eccentric, unconventional approach to home repairs. Do you know someone who is more MacGyver than Mike Holmes? This person’s go to tool for home repair is more likely to be a roll of duct tape rather than a screw driver. Maybe they’ve used roofing shingles to tile the foyer? Not such a bad idea, considering those shingle have a 25 year guarantee! And why return your empties for a refund, when an old can converts into a new shower head? Now that’s worth more than five cents! We are interested in hearing more about these “unique” approaches to home repairs.  Who says you can’t use old crutches to hold up basement stairs. Your leg healed, so why not put those crutches to good use. Or install used linoleum on the kitchen walls for a back splash. Why waste good flooring!  Or use that trusty duct tape in place of caulking around the bathtub. By participating in this fun new series, our expert host will fix the creative handy work and renovate that part of the house for FREE. Who knows, maybe the not-so-handy person in your life will even learn a few things!  We are casting throughout Ontario and would love to come to your community. Contact us today with your un-handy homeowner nomination! To apply, send an email to casting@mountainroad.ca that includes: 1. The story behind the questionable home improvements 2. Photos of each of the eccentric repairs 3. A photo of you and a photo of the not-so-handy person you are nominating   4. Your contact information

Topic by mountainroad1 


Please help, need advice for installing engineered hardwood floors?

Hi, I recently purchased some 3/8th Bruce engineered hardwood flooring, and was planning on purchasing a staple gun to install the flooring (like I needed a reason for a new toy!), what gauge stapler would you all recommend? Bruce doesn't have specific instructions, it just says the staples should be at least 1 inch long.  I've heard if you buy too big a staple (15.5 gauge), it will cause issues with bumps in the flooring, but I'm afraid if I get too small a staple then it may not attach properly. Please help! As a side note, how big an air compressor would you all recommend?  I was planning on getting a 6gal, 2.6 scfm at 90 psi compressor, and just want to make sure it will have enough power.

Topic by JMH renovations   |  last reply


New to electronics, RGB led's help!

First off, let me just say this website and all the great instructables have inspired me to get into electronics. I recently ordered the Arduino Projects Pack from make and have been creating simple led projects for myself. I'd really like to step it up for christmas and have an idea that currently I do not have all the knowledge to complete. My parents kitchen was recently renovated and a brand new cabinet with frosted glass panes was installed. I would like to install 12 RGB led's controllable by on/off, speed of colour change, and by colour itself. If anyone has the time a basic start to finish guideline would be extremely helpful to wrap my head around the whole process, and if I had any questions we could go into more detail. Is the Arduino Duemilanove the right device to be using? Programming is very new to me and any sites that help with that would be great. Thanks so much for your help in advance!!!!

Topic by metabolism!   |  last reply


Portable Work Space

Hello,  I have been kicking around this design for a portable work bench. My profession is product design however I am a DIYer by nature (mostly wood working, furniture and the occasional home renovation). I would always loose count of the number of trips I would make back and forth to my shop in the garage.I thought that a portable table that could fold into a hand truck would be a good solution to design, build and possibly sell. I have teamed up with a metal worker in the PA and we are considering crafting a few of these tables however I would like to ask the community if an idea like this was worth anything. If you are at all interested in something like this, could you please take this very short "yes/no" survey so that I could tally and see if there is enough interest in this idea. Also, could you please let me know what you think of this idea? If enough people think this is worth the time I will build a  few tables and post pics.  Survey Link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RX63VFQ Thanks, -S

Topic by sricci714 


Vinyl media cabinet inbuilt speaker help

Hello everyone I'm a complete newbie I'm afraid so sorry for asking for such help so early on! Im renovating an old vinyl cabinet I found in the salvos and turning into a dj deck for my new Vestax Typhoon. I need space for my laptop and midi mixer and would love to still have the original vinyl player on show somehow! Any ideas from the creative community I ideally want to dj from behind the speakers. Also I have plugged it in and I get some sound from the speakers and the volume knob still works but the radio does not. What is the best way to have the midi mixer hooked up to the speakers so I can play out of them? Im not sure of their quality and if they are rubbish when hooked up I can also replace them. Any electrical knowledge would be amazing and can just about wield a soldering iron! Much thanks in advance any ideas on colour schemes or extra add ons would be very welcome!! Sophie

Topic by sophielily   |  last reply


Left-handed and trying to mod the world around me.

I'm a left-handed person trying to remove obstacles in my everyday *workshop* routines. I've found one Instructable that suggests putting a chalkboard/whiteboard writing space on the *left* side of the desk. That's GENIUS! But it's not enough, and my Google-fu yields nothing more exciting across the interwebz. Do YOU have any lefty-friendly ideas?   My workshop activities--in case it helps give you some direction for responding: -beginning woodworking (I have a drill press, circ saw, and some other fancy toys) -sewing (Singer machine; also by hand) -intermediate to advanced Martha Stewart-esque crafty things Particular interests that have no bearing on my question but might help guide an otherwise vague response: -Making work spaces ergonomically healthier (I'm a 5'2 dancer/writer living with sciatica; husband is 5'11 and 38 years old with no desire to age faster by ruining his back some more) -the art and science of lighting interior rooms for their specific purpose/occupant's needs

Topic by AnnaUndercover   |  last reply


Remodeling the bathroom

People today are more conscious of how their bathrooms look than ever before. The concept of bathrooms have now undergone a change from one of mere functionality to include elements of relaxation. The bathroom   now has many facilities that add to your bathing experience. The market offers some of the best equipments and many elegant fittings like the bath tubs, shower cabinets, massage showers, designer tiles etc.   The interior of the bathrooms can be given a great look by changing the floor and wall tiles. The color of the bathroom can be something soothing to the mind and the body. Elegant light fixtures can be used to beautify the bathroom interiors. There are brass fixtures that adorn the bathroom interiors and make it look regal. The designers of bathroom understand the need for spacious and well-kept bathrooms. That's why, they use designs that optimize the available space without compromising on the ease of use.   Re-doing bathrooms have become an important element of house renovation. The beauty of the bathroom has to be maintained properly with the help of designer tiles and flooring. The materials used in the floors and the walls can be of a material that is durable as well as easy to clean. By designing bathroom, you can make your whole house look good and impart a feel good factor.

Topic by benn01   |  last reply


Bathtub installation question Answered

I'm installing a new soaker-style bathtub as part of a bathroom renovation.  It is acrylic, and is designed to fit into a cutout.  That is, there is a tiled space between the lip of the tub and the tiled walls around the tub. I bought the tub on sale as a demo model from a home store (Rona, kinda like Home Depot), and as such it came with no installation instructions.  I couldn't find them online, and I wasn't able to get any help from the manufacturer, either.  Perhaps I need to pester them more. Anyway, the issue is this.  On many similar tub installs, I've seen them layer up mortar under the tub for support.  However, my tub has two wooden rails (2x3s) permanently fiberglassed to the bottom.  In addition, a very dense hardboard spans the entire bottom of the tub.  It really seems as if the tub is designed to be set on the floor just like that, perhaps with wood blocks screwed in around the edges of the rails to keep the tub from shifting. I can do that if that's how it should be done.  I just don't want to risk cracking the tub with hundreds of pounds of water and human - my wife would not be pleased, nor would I.  Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing?

Question by jeff-o   |  last reply


Oakland Museum White Elephant Sale

This year's White Elephant Sale to raise funds for the Oakland Museum of California is coming up!  The 2010 event runs March 6-7, 10am-4pm, at 333 Lancaster Street in Oakland near the Fruitvale BART. It's billed as "the biggest, the best, and certainly the most enjoyable rummage sale in Northern CA," and while I haven't attended too many other rummage sales, this doesn't sound far fetched.  The (carefully vetted) pile of goods absolutely stuffs the 96,000 square foot warehouse, which is sorted into themed departments.  It's insane, and an excellent place to find weird and wonderful items for your next project.  Pro Tip: If you go near the end of the day on Sunday, you'll find discounts on the remaining stuff - some departments will charge a flat fee for everything you can fit into a paper grocery bag. Bonus:  all proceeds go to help the Oakland Museum, which is currently undergoing renovation.  I'm a huge fan of their natural sciences exhibit, which features some excellent dioramas showing California birds, reptiles, and mammals in their native environments.  Truly good stuff.

Topic by canida   |  last reply


Need advice on video cameras and equipment for workshop recordings

I’m renovating my basement and getting a new craft workspace.  I dabble primarily in costumes/cosplay and terrariums.  I’d like to install a few permanent video cameras to do overhead recording of my primary workbench and my sewing bench to capture time-lapse and real-time recordings of my work. I need some recommendations for:   -  Cameras I can permanently affix to the ceiling and plug directly into power and run a feed right to my Mac Mini.    -  Something that will produce a nice quality video appropriate for instructional videos – I don’t have an abundance of natural light in my workshop, though I plan to install plenty of supplemental lighting.  Looking for something under $200 (under $100 would be even better so I can get 2!)     -  Advice for setting up those cameras to record directly onto a Mac Mini and being able to have a feed show on my monitor.    -  Can I get cameras/software that can do both time-lapse and real-time recordings?  If I’m working on a project that takes 20 hours to build, I don’t need 20 hours of real-time recording - I’m assuming time-lapse would be much more manageable from a file–size standpoint. Any help or advice is welcome!  Thanks in advance!

Topic by KatieH100   |  last reply


Could cleaning with bleech on lead paint cause temporary stroke like symptoms and fetal distress? ? Answered

I rent my home. When I moved here with three children, I was told there was no lead paint. Seven years later, I became pregnant. While cleaning, I used bleech to clean walls and floors and shelves and windows. I also scraped and repainted some areas. One night, I went to the store with my eldest daughter and had slight pain and numbness on one side of my body. I also couldnt speak properly or complete a responsive answer with correct words. My sentences were inappropriate. It lasted about 24 hours and got better. I felt extremely fatigued but blamed pregnancy. A few days later, I was sick, enormously fatigued and had sharp abdominal pain unlike labor. I went to the hospital and my baby's heart rate was failing. He was dieing. He was taken by emergency c-section, two months early and recovered in the newborn intensive care for three weeks. I recently found out that the home i rent does indeed contain lead paint and probably a good deal of it. The home owner found out about a state program that would come in and do all kinds of renovations for free if he signed up. Then he discovered that he would have to pay the back taxes on the home and cover the cost of the inspectors and opted not to have the lead removed. I am still living here with my children.

Question by Everan   |  last reply


Any of you more seasoned build-o-philes have tips, mods, or tricks for an 8"(or any size) drill press? Answered

I was recently given a very well taken care of 8" Craftsman 1/3hp 5 speed drill press. It works fine, but it's a little grimy. So I'm currently cleaning it. Actually I wanted to ask someone if it's okay to clean that gunky layer of grease off of it because the grime has mixed in and it's essentially "sanding" the post. If it IS okay to clean off, do I replace it with different or newer grease once it's been cleaned? Also, ever since I was a kid, I was captivated by the swirling grinder or polisher pattern on the drill press table. Mine has a thin layer of rust on the table. Is there any way to remove the rust without ruining my beloved swirly pattern? So to wrap up here is the list of questions... 1. What are some modifications, tips, tricks, jigs, etc. for an 8" Benchtop Drill Press? 2. Is it okay to clean the grease off of the entire machine? If so, do I regrease it afterwards? What's the best product to use? 3. Is there a way to remove small layer of rust off the table without compromising the original swirl pattern? ANY and ALL help or suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Thank you Instructables community!!(That made me think of a town whose entire population was comprised of Instructables members. Ha! Got a question about robots? Go to Ted's three doors down. Building a welder from car batteries? Oh Tom two streets over would be more than happy to help! I know...ridiculous.)

Question by Mister Wolf   |  last reply


Play with fire, sleep less, launch a rocket, slice bottles...

Function clickclear(thisfield, defaulttext) {if (thisfield.value == defaulttext) {thisfield.value = "";}}Sign-up for our newsletter subscribe August 30, 2007 Welcome back!With a three-day weekend ahead you have more time than ever to try out some new projects. Check out some great ideas below. Make your own Embossed Business Cards using Acid Etching Etch, press, and print your way to some unique cards.posted by bofthem on Aug 30, 2007 How to bind your own Hardback Book The art of book binding is an ancient craft, but actually it is not very difficult to do.posted by KaptinScarlet on Aug 29, 2007 Build an antique style crystal radio Enoy your radio the truly old-fashioned way.posted by Ohm on Aug 29, 2007 Wiimote Rubens Tube: Control Fire With Sound! (And a Nintendo Wiimote!) Fire + music + Wiimote? What could go wrong with that?posted by ScaryBunnyMan on Aug 28, 2007 Quick Banana Nut Bread You can't argue with a dessert that takes just five minutes to make.posted by RealSimple.com on Aug 24, 2007 Get published in Real Simple magazine! $1,500 top prize!Ends this weekend! Soar to great heights. Launch It: Patriot Model Rocket Make your own rocket. No kit required!posted by kruser495 on Aug 27, 2007 Rebuild a bicycle rear hub Become a bike whiz and learn to fix most freewheel hubs on the market today.posted by Prometheus on Aug 27, 2007 How to use a wet tile saw to cut glass bottles Discover the joys of using a wet tile saw to cut glass.posted by WUVIE on Aug 27, 2007 Gas Grill Renovation Bring your grill back from the dead for Labor Day weekend.posted by digrat on Aug 26, 2007 Polyphasic Sleep Live your life on just 2-3 hours of sleep a day.posted by rachel on Aug 24, 2007 Now go build something awesome, and I'll see you next week! -Eric

Topic by lebowski 


Top 10 Instructables For the Home

Shelving, tables, lighting, and more: what better way to outfit your house with what it needs than to make the accessories yourself? Check out this list of some of the best Instructables to help improve your home.As always, they're in no particular order. Invisible Book Shelf by dorxincandeland Have an old book you're never going to read or use again? Free up some storage space and utilize that book to create a bookshelf that makes your books look like they're floating around. .   Concrete Kitchen Countertop by doubleabattery Combine the fun of DIY with the finished look of a professional product with these concrete countertops made from concrete. .   Simple Platform Bed by aeray Pick up your mattress from the floor: with only a few materials and easy steps, you can efficiently make a platform bed. For another option, try the Pipe Dream Bed.   Aquarium Coffee Table by x86Daddy You can give your living room a fishy feel with this sure-to-impress aquarium coffee table. .   Literary Clock by mdhaworth If (after the Invisible Bookshelf) you've got another book to spare, you can turn it into a timepiece perfect for any room . .   Laptop Stand by jumpfroggy Need to check the latest Instructables after you've already called it a night? This laptop stand will help you comfortably compute in bed or wherever you need a solid surface. .   Tennis Ball Chair by wholman Revamp an old chair into a stylish, comfortable work of art featuring tennis balls. .   Knife Block by engineerable A high-quality, wall-mounted knife block safely stores and organizes up to 30 knives of varying shapes and sizes. .   Minimalist Desk by arte.sano Create a functional workspace with your own very simple desk using workhorses and a door panel. .   Paper Lamp by drips Light up your house in style with this geometric table lamp made out paper, or opt for the classic Lampshade Polygon Building Kit .   Now there's no excuse for putting off those renovations. Add your other favorites below!

Topic by joshf   |  last reply


How to remodel my front yard garden?

Hi, i have my front yard that I want to renovate so that it is both appealing day and night to anybody who walks in and memorises that moment.  This is the area that has the most traffic everyday at about any time so it needs to be practical, safe and appealing.  I want to design and use any materials but needs to be in the green way as there are much focus on these nowadays and prevent wastage. This is what I have in mind: 12 volt system: A/or many power packs that will provide power to all the electrical stuffs, charged using solar panels and since these will be low voltage it should be safe. Items that would be using 12v would be outdoor lighthing, the power cables, water pump submersible, submersible light.  It would be great to have an electrical plan that would aid however I don't know how to do that. Water feature: Add a biological filter made of concrete for the pond with all its plumbing and also add overflow drain in pond and a small canal to evacuate the excess of water.  Plants:  Concerning the plants some will be moved, cut down or removed completely.  I want a complete mixture of different kinds of plants such As bushes creeping plants etc.  It would be nice to create a plant plan both written and visual as it would aid greatly however I don't really have that knowledge. Other things: I would like to include pergolas and arbours and also allow plants to grow on them such as creeping plants. I want the area to have complete or as much privacy as possible but don't really know specially by hiding the view from above.  As A boundary I want to include fencing and then let creeping plants to grow on them just to get that privacy.  An automatic watering system would be very good such as popup sprinkler, or drip irrigation but an irrigation plan would best be suited but still I don't know how to make that. There should be provision for spaces in adding security cameras that would remain hidden for a certain time period. Finally there should be an Area to store dustbin and also to let clothes dry.

Question by Chamburn   |  last reply


how to add a bathroom in the house

each and every home renovation challenge can be an thrilling time. not just that, it's fun, bad improve a home getting a new, but at the same time to include worth to some home and produces it additional handy for family people and guests. at any time you include a bathing room within your house, there are many factors that contractors will should look at preceding for you go out and lease one. right listed here are some recommendations for adding a bathing room in the house; 1. among the probably the most crucial considerations when adding a> Bad, problems relating in the direction of hydraulic system. should know in which the pipes and fittings are installed. You also should look at in which the pipes in relation in the direction of septic method will very likely be run. As well, you appear in the situation with regard in the direction of current plumbing related pipes within your bathroom. It 'important to be aware the fact that additional apart from current pipes, the higher the cost. It 'best to include a producer new bathing room nearbyexisting bathing room as above or below the bathroom. 2. at any time you include a producer new bathroom, look in the sizing in the bathing room so des approach to expand the home to preserve a tremendous bathing room or any space within your home at current allocated? you must also look in the fixtures and bathing room furniture. For example, you must look in the sizing in the tub and shower, if it is used into account. You must also create a graph that isshows the place in the window, sink, toilet, shelves, vanity with drawers and cupboards, linen cupboard … etc., make specific the space is huge enough to include each of the equipment you need to keep. 3. at any time you include the bath, you must confirm space the appear and design. offered the qualities such as color-resistant to moisture, type of floor, like vinyl, marble or granite, and ventilation. In contemplating the views in the bathroom, you mustIn determining no issue whether this kind of the setting up fixtures, bathing room with current and traditional with an old-fashioned look. As well, when preparing in which to set up equipment, you must maximize space, but do not create a crowded bathroom, in which consumers have problems moving. 4. energy performance can be an extra thing to consider at any time you include a bathroom. Consider, for example, reduce flow toilets, wall insulation, energy effective windows, energy saving The lighting, surroundings friendly wooden and setting up materials, as well as the range in the boiler away from your bathing room again. 5. The character in the sink and bathtub can be an extra important consideration. For bathrooms, you have individuals decisions, such as porcelain, fiberglass and metal. To sink, you can in the sink with vanity, pedestal sink and even a sink which has built attached to some wall. Bathtubs and sinks in numerous shapes, styles, sizes and colors. No issue what sort of> bad add, consider your time and spending budget for that challenge that money and spend less time. It will be also beneficial at any time you clarify in the direction of contractor precisely that which you want, and will reduce the probability of errors. As well, it is very crucial that you take advantage of pros to set up the plumbing related and electrical.

Topic by chilli0627   |  last reply


Steampunk Volkswagen anyone?

Dear Fellow Instructable Steampunk aficionados, I'm starting plans for my biggest steampunk project ever... a steampunk Volkswagon Beetle!;-) We haven't bought it yet, but my wife and I are heading to Brazil for the summer, and are planning on buying an old VW Beetle, (or a "Fusca" as they affectionately call them locally), to bum around in a sleepy beach town. These cars were once very popular in Brazil, but have been replaced by far more fuel efficient, and largely ethanol powered cars. So an old Beetle can be had for cheap... And my wife has given me the okay to go ahead and steampunk it out to my hearts delight! My initial plans are for purely cosmetic changes. (I'm not planning on installing a steam-powered engine any time soon, although that would certainly be cool;-) I've seen Jake Von Slatt's photos and videos of his steampunk car project, but I thought I'd check with the folks on Instructables to see if anyone has any suggestions. (And when I say anyone, I put heavy stress on my German steampunk colleagues;-) All suggestions (and photos) are welcome! Please post here... Will keep you posted on my progress. Best, Winged Fist Update: 6/27/12 (An eventful day) Today we became the proud owners of a 1975 Volkswagen Beetle! The body is a bit beaten with a few signs of rust, but I'm told that the engine is sound, the electrical work is good and the tires are pretty new. If all goes as planned, I'll get to drive it for the first time next week, when I arrive in Brazil. (Then let the steampunking begin;-) Today I also became a member of the VWoodies user group on Yahoo. Lots of great pictures and inspiration for modifying an old VW Beetle. And the moderator, Senhor California, has an amazing 70s model Beetle he has completely modified into a Woody, which he keeps in Brazil! (In my opinion it has quite a steampunk flare to it). And not coincidentally, today I received in the mail my Hula Girl bobble dashboard ornament, and my California Pacific VW Parts and Accessories catalog from jbugs.com It's looking like this car is going to take on a steampunk/woody/surfer theme... Update: 7/23/12 Well it's been exactly a month since I posted this query, and I'm proud to report that this project is almost complete! After almost two weeks of non-stop renovating and remodeling, scraping sanding and painting, our quasi-steampunk, faux-woody VW Beetle is nearly finished! There are still a few details to finish, (like getting the driver's door to stay closed when we're driving;-), but other than that I'm very pleased with the way this old bug has turned out! This past weekend, she took her maiden voyage, sporting her new look - to the beach of course. (Praia Linda, in the Lake Region of Rio de Janeiro, in case your interested). The one unsolicited comment we overheard was that she looked like an old armoire... and not in a good way;-) The transformation from a bricklayer's workhouse to a beach woody was a laborious one, but now our '75 Fusca can spend her golden years carting beach chairs, coolers and kayaks instead of hauling bricks and cement;-) I plan to post a full Instructable on this project, but for now, wanted to give those interested a taste of the nearly finished product. (I'm also amazed with how much the finished product resembles the photoshop rendition I created, before I ever laid eyes on the car).

Topic by Winged Fist   |  last reply


Longest Comment on Instructables (Possibly)

Https://www.instructables.com/answers/What-essential-tools-should-I-include-in-my-dorm-r/The longest comment on this site is one by Guardian Fox on the "What survival tools should I keep in my dorm room tool box?" If anyone can find a longer one, please PM me the link.Keep in mind, he typed this with his own fingers, not by holding down the paste command for a day. If that's what you want, then go to https://www.instructables.com/community/the_forum_for_spam/ Source: Guardian FoxFor the dorm room, you only need a few tools. You're not going to be renovating, and you're not going to be doing much woodworking. You aren't allowed to do anything at all to the room beyond hanging pictures (if that), and most dorms forbid power-tools in the rooms no matter what you're use them for. Here's my take on what you'll need for the dorm. I've included a lot of things that seem unnecessary, and you can probably live without some of it... but the kit will get you through nearly any problems you'll encounter at school or in an apartment:-At least one decent multi-bit screwdriver. Look for something with a comfortable grip and sturdy construction. Avoid gimmicks like built in flashlights. I recommend the Piquiq brand which comes in a few different sizes and can be found in many hardware stores in North America. You can usually get their three-piece set for less than $20.-A set of jeweler's screwdrivers. Get a cheap set because these little things WILL get lost. Look for something with at least a few unusual bits as well as the usuals. Get a 30ish-piece set for less than $20. Most handy if you've got a thing for messing with your electronics, but also great for changing a watch battery, fixing glasses, etc.-A basic hammer. Nothing fancy needed here, and I've always preferred an ordinary wooden-handled hammer anyway. Go for a smaller hammer if you only plan on hanging pictures, get a regular-sized hammer if you plan on using it to do real work later on. Stanley is a good brand with decent prices, but there are lots of good budget-priced hammers out there. Drop by a hardware store and pick one that feels good in your hand. Less than $20 for a brand name. $10 or less for a bargain hammer. Make sure the head of the hammer is securely attached to the handle, no matter what brand you pick but a little tiny wiggle is ok. Hang a picture or tap a few finishing nails into a small project. Very handy, even when you use it wrong.-Two utility knives with snap-off blades. One with the small size, and the other with the larger size. There are hundreds of brands of these on the market, and a lot of them are junk so spring for an Olfa (the best i.m.o.) if you can find it. Richard is a decent low-cost brand which is often found in paint stores. Again, avoid gimmicks. The most important thing you need to know is if the locking mechanism works well or not, as a utility knife can become dangerous if the blade is going to slide around while you're using it. Good knives can be around $10-20 each. Cheap, "disposable" knives can be found for less than a dollar, but be sure to buy something that seems sturdy. Add a self-healing cutting mat from the dollar store, and while you're there get a metal ruler for cutting straight lines. Smaller utility knives are good for light-duty applications like trimming photographs or opening packages. Larger utility knives are good for harder work like cutting lots of cardboard-A measuring tape. You probably already have a ruler for school, but a measuring tape is much more useful for around the house. Get a 16' tape for good versatility. Choose one that has a sturdy housing and a tape that slides in and out easily. Bennett is a good budget brand you can find for less than $10 and I recommend theirs over any of the name-brand tapes out there. If you can't find that brand, go to the building supplies store and ask what brand the clerks and outside staff use around the shop. You could skip this one during college, but you'll need it one day and it's the kind of thing you can make uses for.-Pliers. For around the house and crafting I find a pair of long-nose pliers more handy than a pair of linesman's pliers, but both tools have their place. Locking pliers (aka vice grips) are also super-handy. Get one or a set, but avoid the bargain brands. Look to spend at least $7 each for basic pliers, and at least $12 for a good pair of locking pliers. -An adjustable wrench (aka thumb-wrench). Pick a smaller-sized model for your toolbox. Most of the nuts and bolts in the house will be small anyway. Go for something that opens up to 1" or 1 1/2" Brand isn't an issue, but make sure it operates smoothly and won't jam or work loose. Spend less than $10. -Scissors. A usable, general purpose pair of scissors can be found at the dollar stores or in an office supply store. Make sure they open and close smoothly and that the blades don't wiggle. Look for one with a metal screw at the pivot so you can tighten it if it works loose. If you're using it routinely for cutting fabric or any other specific task, spend some extra money and get the right kind for the job or at least a good pair of general purpose ones. Less than $5 for cheap ones, $20+ for quality ones.-Sewing notions; A pack of needles, a roll of white thread, a roll of black thread, and a roll of transparent thread, a few safety pins and any spare buttons you find. That should get you through any wardrobe fixes you may need. Each item in the kit should be a dollar or less, and you can save money by starting with a pre-made kit from a dollar store and adding a few of your own extras. Also highly recommended is this, http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.1352 , but keep in mind it is cheap for a reason and needs constant attention.-A soldering iron if it's allowed in your room, and only if you're working with or fixing electronics or jewelry. Get a scrap piece of plywood or something to use as a work surface. $15 for a basic 30w iron. Another $10 for a safer stand.-A toolbox that holds everything. I like the ones that double as a step-stool, which you can find for $20-$30 if you look hard enough (mastercraft and rubbermaid brands). You might like something different, but small plastic toolboxes and even small plain steel ones are all quite cheap so go look and see what you like. You can even use your imagination and just use a plastic tote, a tacklebox, a backpack/messenger bag, shoebox, etc. Just pack your tools in it neatly and avoid putting the heavy or sharp ones on top of the ones that might break.-A plunger. If your dorm room has a bathroom, this is a must even if you never have to use it. It's an insurance policy against one hell of a mess. $10-$15.Anyway, that's all I can think of for tools. Craftier folks need more gear, and less DIY-prone folks need less. Use your best judgment and buy only what you can afford and might actually use. Pick up a few fasteners and adhesives too, usually as needed. Here's what you should probably keep on hand.-A package of assorted picture-hangers and hooks (if hanging pictures is allowed in your dorm). Buy a pack at the dollar store. A few extra finishing nails and small screws would be a good addition to this as well.-Thumbtacks. Buy a pack at the dollar store or office supply store.-Scotch tape, packing tape, duct tape (or Gorilla tape).-Twist ties. Get a bunch from a pack of trash bags.-A package of superglue. Rather than one large tube, get the pack with several tiny tubes so you don't lose your entire supply when one dries up.-Craft wire. Use it wherever you might use a twist tie, but also can be bent into whatever shape you need to become a tool or a piece of art. Dollar stores carry rolls of it often at 2/$1

Topic by DELETED_M4industries   |  last reply


An idea for highly directional and loud loudspeakers

I am currently playing around with vibration experiments.Mainly in the ultrasonic range though.But when messing around with some vibration speakers I found a not so well documented misuse for themEveryone wants a big TV these days but once you have it the sound often turns out to come from a tin can.Those with a good entertainment or at least stereo system won't mind hooking the to it.The rest usually opts for a sound bar or how I like to call them shredderbox.Sooner or later they just fail to produce the sound you had on the first day - or they cost a small fortune.What is the secret to a powerful speaker?Firstly efficiency.Secondly the design.You need the right material to produce a more or less even reaction at all intendet frequencies.The design makes sure those frequencies that need extra attention get more volume output, like by using a little pipe for the low frequencies.Some even include a dedicate speaker for these low volumes.What if you could just build you own soundbar on a budget?If you have a failing soundbar with the actual speakers as the problem you could salvage the electronics.In case you can make do with headphone input or RCA connections than any cheap amplifier will do.Leaves the speakers...Vibration speakers are still underestimated for their uses...I tried the the usual approach of using a glue on vibro speaker:Place it on surface tha gives a re more or less decent sound.The thing is though that there is no ideal surface for them.A table can sound like the highs are missing, a hardwood desk might not produce any low frequencies while a window or plaster board wall bring the problem of wiring and vibrations.To check the reactions of sound on different media I, one day, mounted one speaker under a big tin can.Right in the center.The fun hit me when my tests with water were over and tried to play a song with the empty can.Of course there was some degree of tin can sound but the directional qualities together with the wide frequency spectrum made me experiment.The key is to find the right material and shape!You want something that is hard enough to vibrate properly but soft enough to allow for lower frequencies.I tried pipes, boxes, old plastic containers....But nothing seemed to provide a broad and even sound spectrum without distortions.If you vibrate a surface then only at certain, resonant frequencies destinct patterns will form if some dust or similar is place on the surface.In all other cases there is only chaos.Preventing the harmonics to form prevents harmonic vibrations to build up to distortion levels.Like it or not but waste seems to work just fine as a speaker ;)I made a plug to fit reall tight into a 2 liter juice bottle neck.The original plastic cap is just too soft.A vibro speaker glued onto the plug and the bottom of the bottle cut out and the soun was quite impressive.Proper use is however limited as the speaker would need to be mounted upright.Next thought was to utilise the bottom of the bottle too.By cutting a round hole in the side of the bottle I got an even more directional speaker with a better response to low frequencies.Placement of said hole of course affect how certain frequencies travel and where nodes can form.The size might also matter as the hoe itself, or better the material around it can get resonant at certain frequencies.You can cheat at bit though by using sticky tape, duct tape and so on as dampening meterial in badly affected areas.Especially with a wall mount for the speaker and the bottle hanging down behind the TV the effect is good compared to a standard shredderbox. The above design is certainly not for everyone although I think it has a wow factor to it if you show a decent sound coming out of a juice bottle ;)My next step was trying to find out how more fancy designs could work.So just stop reading here unless you like the idea of creating speakers that should not even work.Back in the old days we had more than just the speakers with magnets and cones.Anything that can vibrate can produce sound.It all depends on how much of it we can actually hear.My first exotic idea to really misuse a vibro speaker is a vibrating harp.Does not need to be in the classic shape though.A string in a resonance box, like a harp, guitar, violine and so on will start to vibrate at the set note.This is true even if the force for the vibration is external.You might remember the old school experiment with the two pitch forks on their boxes?Hit one and the other starts to swing too.If you make a resonance box for a vibro speaker with internal or external wire strings at different tensions or lengths you can amplify the sound for the notes that correspond to the strings.Make a relatively large box with some sturdy wires for the frequencies between 60 and 100Hz and you have a really powerful subwoofer from just 20W of input power...I think you get the idea on how to use amplifying strings now ;)My second and total misuse is the xmas tree.If you are a sparky by old trades then you might remember the mechanical frequency meters for generators or other things that required a stable supply.Well, if not than you should know the little wind up toys that play a melody with a drum and tiny forks.Imagine you would replace the glue plate with a rod.Depending on material and length harmonic nodes will form at various places and frequencies.Between those nodes the swing is maximised while the node itself appear to be stationary and without and vibrations at all.For example a steel rod of 1.2m would have a single standing wave at about 1kHz while a copper rod of the same lenght will be much lower in the frequency for a single standing wave.The xmas tree assumes that the rod is of such material that no single standing wave can form below 200Hz and that it won't swing too much at other resonant frequencies.Since aluminium is easy to work with and available in flat and thin bars already it would be my first choice for the branches of the tree.The required length is calculate based on the speed of sound in aluminium - you find online calculators for that.You want the lenght so that you end up with an even fraction of the wavelength you want to "play" with that strip.This allows for the rod to be placed right in the center of the strip where the standing wave movement is zero in the node.Make a lot of thin strips to get a broad frequency response.Placement on the rod can now be crucial.The best option I found so far is using a threaded rod and tapping the holes in the strips.The strips swing quite violently if long and at certain frequencies.And those not in resonance will still transfer their momentum to other strips.This can cause unwanted harmonics.Most evident when a single strips swigns violently at a certain frequencies.Adjusting the angle by turning it is often enough to get out of the overlapping harmonics.With enough strips it then really looks like a tree with flat branches.The sound might not be as loud and impressive as a plastic bottle as the virations are going up and down.But if placed in the right spot it not just looks nice but also makes people wonder where the sound is coming from.Last but not least my yet to be tested hidden speaker system - due to renting restrictions :(If you own a house of the standard frame design then you have plasterboard walls and ceilings.With a large enough surface of the right material, one or two vibro speakers can cover a really wide frequency range at good volume levels.So far I could only do tests in an old wooden window frame but the priciple works the same way between the wooden frames of a wall or ceiling.In my experiments a standard plasterboard sheet needs to be 100 x 100cm to get a more or less decent response for the lower frequencies.Before you rip your walls down use a stud finder and place your vibro speaker on the plasterboard between two studs or beams.I found that two speakers for the lower frequencies and three or four for the higher ones make a good sound.That is per channel and if you have the right size plasterboard sheet in the right place.No point if your left side is further away from the TV than your right.Ideally you replace the entire sheet with the speaker in the right spot on the new sheet but on the back.For obvious reasons this is far from being a perfect solution.But if you plan a full renovation anyway...A way out for older houses is the wooden floorboards.They make excellent resonators for low frequencies.The directional speakers could then still be hidden in picture frames of the right thickness and design.Anyways, I hope I gave you some ideas here ;)

Topic by Downunder35m 


Funny Labels

These are hilarious!!! There all REAL funny product lables that people have found. Here's the link to where I got them: http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml Product Warnings: • "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet. • "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs. • "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. • "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron. • "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer. • "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer. • "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device. • "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. • "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan. • "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. • "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool. • "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant. • "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard. • "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn. • "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter. • "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image. • "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. • "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow. • "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater. • "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. • "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock." • "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box. • "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup. • "Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter." • "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee. • "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush. • "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. • "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old. • "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery. • "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion. • "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer. • "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. • "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod. • "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener. • "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener. • "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror. • "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski. • "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm. • "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty. • "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia. • "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone. • "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers. • "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink. • "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate. • "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant. • "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison. • "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757. • "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid. • "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller. • "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels. • "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck. • "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron. • "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine. • "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights. • "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume. • "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door. • "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. • "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets. • "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box. • "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box. • "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter. • "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy. • "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice. • "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. • "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan. • "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw. • "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer. • "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts. • "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing. • "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. • "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it." • "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds. • "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills. • "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle. • "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer. • "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. • "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame. • "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets. • "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack. • "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV. • "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack. • "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone. • "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch. • "Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions. See a scanned image. ________________________________________ Assurances: • "Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter. ________________________________________ Small Print From Commercials: • "Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store. • "Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean. • "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert. • "For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh. ________________________________________ Signs and Notices: • "No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere. • "Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950. • "These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church. • "All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire. • "Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine. • "Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic. • "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos. • "Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box. • "Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement. • "No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer. • "Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge. ________________________________________ Safety Procedures: • "Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building. • "In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp. ________________________________________ Ingredients: • "Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns. • "100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater. • "Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case. Materials: Covering: 100% Unknown. Stuffing: 100% Unknown." -- On a pillow. • "Cleans and refreshes without soap or water. Contains: Water, fragrance & soap." -- On the packet for a moist towelette. See a scanned image. ________________________________________ Instructions: • "Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch. • "Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills. • "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts. • "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11. • "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap. • "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper. • "Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner. • "Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits. • "In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual. • "Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill. • "The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position." -- Instructions for an espresso kettle. • "For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid." -- On a Domino's sandwich box. ________________________________________ Requirements: • "Optional modem required." -- On a computer software package.

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