How an energy saver / power saver works? Answered

In India, a lot of multi level marketing companies were promoting a product called energy saver or power saver. It is claimed that by just plugging it in a power circuit, the electricity consumption goed down any where between 20% to 50%. Whether this product works? What is the principle behind it?

Question by arulamudhu   |  last reply


Food saver problems

Hi! I have a food saver and when i seal more than 3 or4 bags, the pump doesn't blow the air out properly. I have to put the power off for 15 to 20 minutes and it work only for 3 bags. Why???

Question by ChristianL1   |  last reply


Android Password Saver

The result of boredom. Numbers layer tells you what each dot is labeled. The x-y layers represent the paths. X is the first dot, y is the one you move to after that. Just make the layers visible. I didn't bother making any long diagonals because I didn't feel like it and they're hard to use anyways. I find it useful to load a jpg on my miniSD so if I forget, I can go back and see what it was before I unlocked it. (I know it's overdone, but if I'm going to be using it all the time, I might as well make it pretty)

Topic by puffyfluff   |  last reply


how to apply screen saver for a driver ?

One day i saw a video on Meta Cafe that help us to apply a image as folder background to USB  . Similar to that how can i apply screen saver for the USB ?

Question by boogi   |  last reply


My Food Saver seals, and the Vacuum pumps sounds like it is working, but the air is not being sucked out of the bag.?

The unit has been working well for 10 years, and suddenly now will not remove the air from the bag.  The sealing feature works fine, but no suction action during the sealing process.

Question by GeorgiaS11   |  last reply


my machine seems to vaccuum properly but will not shift when finished. what could be the problem.?

The machines are not finishing . I have a vac 300 and a vac 370 both seem to vaccuum but do not shift at the finish. Do you have any suggestions.

Question by fzysw200   |  last reply



How do I repair or replace the accessory vacuum hose on a Food Saver Model V3820?

The accessory vacuum hose stopped drawing a vacuum.  The motor runs. The main part of the machine still vacuums and seals as it is supposed to do.  The reel works and the hose does not seem to be damaged in any way. Everything else seems to work as it should.

Question by james.mullis.165   |  last reply


Home made energy saver

First of all sorry for my English Its just an idea, like that "Intelligent Power Strip" but on the cheap. Use a relay powered from the PC molex (5v yellow-black), so that when you turn off your computer, it turns off, for example, the sound system, modem... connected to this. I have no experience with relays or high voltage. Anybody interested?

Topic by javo.   |  last reply


Cheap DIY space savers.

So I'm in the middle of converting part of our basement into a new room to serve as my room.I'm looking for a way to make the most out of my space. My first ideas were utilizing a drawbridge style system to make a foldout table or something like that. the ceiling is entirely exposed.There are cords and beams and pipes everywhere up there.I thought perhaps some sort of drop down storage could be made. This is all I have come up with so far.I'm not too keen with drawbridges,so any help and ideas would be appreciated. the picture is me at age 15 .it shows part of the basement.Not much help. The furnace is behind the door.The door that we have sitting here for no apparent reason. Note: there is large closet already built in against the wall.That should store all the clothes I'll ever need.I'm thinking of purchasing a cheap futon for a bed,as the mattress I currently use is far too big.Does anyone know where I can find some blueprints for simple foldout tables.

Topic by Bando_Red   |  last reply


Food Saver V3230 Vacuum Sealer Repair Inquiry

I have a Food Saver V3230, the top rubber gasket over the liquid tray inside came loose. The manual says to contact customer service, anyone had a similar experience, know how to repair? Thank You

Question by Cgf44646   |  last reply


How is the little metal rod that goes through the piston rod on a food sealer vacuum pump held in place? Answered

Food save vacuum pump piston connecting rod pin.  Goes through piston connecting rod and into a little hole on the electric motor

Question by RonaldL30   |  last reply


A question for experienced mechanics

I  know someone who has a newer model of the Dodge Ram with a Hemi V8.  It has a special gas-saving feature which turns off 4 of the cylinders when it is at highway speeds.  I was wondering if this was a practical idea to do to an old 350 small block.  I know that you could just unplug the spark plugs to 4 cylinders.  Of course, you would have to do something to release the pressure also. (I was thinking of removing the entire spark plug.) I am not very experienced in auto mechanics so I was wondering if anyone here could figure this out.  PS : This option of shutting down cylinders was also available in older Cadillacs I beleive it was called the 4-6-8, which shut down either 2 or 4 cylinders.  This engine however, was known for it's problems, which is why I was wondering about doing this.

Question by jules15   |  last reply


another batch question?

How can i open the screen saver and display it on the entire screen in a batch program?

Question by Laserman595   |  last reply



Food Saver Model V3835 won't open for cleaning?

I was trying to seal a food bag and the vacuum wasn't working so I decided to clean the tray that collects moisture. However after pressing the 2 release buttons the food saver wouldn't open up for cleaning. I have been unable to find what is holding the unit closed. I removed the bottom cover and found the right hold down gear/"hold down" paw not engaged. I re-engaged the paw but still can't open the unit.

Question by glmartin   |  last reply


FoodSaver Quick Start V825/V845/Game Saver Sport Vacuum Sealer.

We have an FoodDSaver QuickStart V825/845 Game Saver Sport vacuum sealer that will suck the air out but will not seal. I was wondering if it could be the heating element gone bad???? Tell me how to check it and how to fix it. Thanks in advance. My email is; fed1@farmerstel.com.

Topic by DilmosJ   |  last reply


How to fix Food Saver - Vacuum Sealer? Answered

I have a Food Saver brand Vacuum Sealer, that all of a sudden stopped working properly. It has no On-Off switch. You simply plug it in, and then put the bag up to the vacuum area and then press down and hold the lid when its vacuuming the air out and then seals the bag closed. When it stopped working, a vacuum bag was placed (as we normally would) and then the lid was put down and pressed. The motor is still running, but normally it makes a louder noise as its vacuuming the air out, and this time it didn't work. (No vacuum). Since it wouldn't vacuum the air, it then wouldn't also seal the bag.  I checked the single air hole on the unit, and there isn't anything obstructing the flow of air, and the bag was put properly in the machine. I also tried using a new bag (just in case the other one was defective) but it made no difference. All the bags come off a large roll. You seal one end, fill it, and then vacuum the air and finally it seals. I've been using this machine for several years with no issues, and this isn't a new roll of bags. Any ideas on what to do to service it and hopefully get it working again?

Question by canucksgirl   |  last reply


I need a polaroid or kodak fun saver disposable camera in Pakistan.

Please help me i need to make a stun gun.

Topic by Hafiz Mohammad Shayan Tariq   |  last reply


foodsaver

I have a food saver model " 3485 it keeps saying my tray is full  it wont do nothing

Question by robert.creazzo   |  last reply


LED bulb with AC 220v. Answered

Can any body help me???? I want to build a LED bulb with 220v AC. But the circuit should be very simple and short. I want to fix it in a dead Energy Saver (CFL). or can i use dead CFL's circuit with LEDS?

Question by raza896   |  last reply


can I be able to delete a virus on a computer without formatting the drive? ?

 for example: RAILA ODINGA the screen saver form of attack that says THIS COMPUTER IS BEING ATTACKED. I want to know if this can be done without the help of any antispyware aor antivirus. need response pls 

Question by sweetacid   |  last reply


Computer Not Working

I unplugged my SATA HD to take to my friends to reformat. When we plugged it in it gave him the blue screen. He told me to take it home and see if it still works on my PC. I plugged the HD and my moniter responded by going into power saver. I checked both sides of my VGA cable so it isn't that. PLEASE HELP!!!!

Topic by sharkbait34   |  last reply


I really need to make a very complicated electromagnet ... Is anyone smart enough to help me ?

I really need an electromagnet that can/ is : + pull a very heavy metal from above ( which means the electromagnet has to be very strong and very concentrated in one direction ) + a energy-saver or uses little amount of energy Guys , I need some helpful comments right now . Please help !!!!!

Question by hannahcarts   |  last reply


Is there a way to turn off a computer monitor with the keyboard, by a hot key or something like that?

At work we have a computer hooked up to a fluorescent microscope and when we are analyzing something on the scope we need the room to be completely dark, which includes turning off the LCD monitor on the computer. But then we need to turn the monitor on again to capture images on the computer, so we are constantly turning the monitor on and off and it is starting to cause some wear on the on/off switch. So my question is: is there a way to turn off the monitor from the keyboard?I have tried setting the screen saver to blank and turn on after one minute, but I hate waiting a minute for it to come on and the mouse is often nudged so the screen saver goes off. And sometimes we use the keyboard to move between microscope filters.This being a work computer, they don't want any software downloaded on to the computer. They don't even want us to change the wallpaper (god forbid). So can this be done with out the use of a program.The computer is running XP.Thanks!

Question by ChrysN   |  last reply


Solar light?

I want to build and install three lights about 10 watt each in my house garden. Powered by solar panel (80w),100ah dry battery. Instead of using energy saver bulbs , i want to use LEDs.one LED of 10w or more which give light equal to one LED. Can any gentleman help me to design this system with 8 hours battery backup. The lights should be turned at dawn.Thanks

Question by Sarfraz ahmad   |  last reply


Can you help diagnose my Seal-A-Meal?

I have a Seal-A-Meal brand vacuum sealer, that all of a sudden stopped working properly. It has no On-Off switch. You simply plug it in, and then put the bag up to the vacuum area and then press down and hold the lid when its vacuuming the air out and then seals the bag closed. When it stopped working, a vacuum bag was placed (as we normally would) and then the lid was put down and pressed. The motor is still running, but normally it makes a louder noise as its vacuuming the air out, and this time it didn't work. (No vacuum). Since it wouldn't vacuum the air, it then wouldn't also seal the bag. Oddly, when I remove the bag and close it (with nothing in there) it DOES make the high pitched-noise, the green light comes on (hands free) and then does the sealing, even though there is nothing to seal.  But when I put the bag in - nothing but the motor running consistently with no change in intonation of the motor and the green light doesn't come on and it doesn't seal. So with the bag - not working.  Without the bag, it seems to work. I"m using Food Saver brand bags but those have always worked in the past.  Any ideas on what to do to service it and hopefully get it working again?

Question by dgould944   |  last reply


Lost Entry - Help!

I submitted my entry, "The Window Refrigerator, modernized from the last Depression - a green money saver" before midnight eastern time Nov. 2nd. I did do some editing and revisioning up until about 1am eastern time. I haven't seen it in the contest, although it does appear in the regular instructables. Did I screw up by continuing to edit? I am new at this and want to understand how things are done so I can do it right next time. Thank You, Anima! X

Topic by Anima! X   |  last reply


Would it be possible for someone to edit this 3D file for me?

I'm not that good at 3D programs but I was wondering if someone could help me out here. I recently found a program called pepakura and it is amazing! Only problem is I want to make one of the Faceless masks from Pink Floyd's The Wall. I was going to use a preexisting file of the Borderlands Psycho Mask and was gonna use it as a sorta template and edit upon it to make the Wall mask well I just cant seem to findout how to edit it! Could someone please help me and make it I've been trying to make one of these things for literally years lol... your help would be a life saver... I've attached a picture of the mask I'm trying to make as well as a link to the pepakura site where in the gallery if you search Borderlands the Mask pepakura file you can use as a template will show up! Thanks again so so much! http://www.tamasoft.co.jp/pepakura-en/

Question by Teddyyyyybear   |  last reply


Would it be possible for someone to edit this 3D file for me?

I'm not that good at 3D programs but I was wondering if someone could help me out here. I recently found a program called pepakura and it is amazing! Only problem is I want to make one of the Faceless masks from Pink Floyd's The Wall. I was going to use a preexisting file of the Borderlands Psycho Mask and was gonna use it as a sorta template and edit upon it to make the Wall mask well I just cant seem to findout how to edit it! Could someone please help me and make it I've been trying to make one of these things for literally years lol... your help would be a life saver... I've attached a picture of the mask I'm trying to make as well as a link to the pepakura site where in the gallery if you search Borderlands the Mask pepakura file you can use as a template will show up! Thanks again so so much! http://www.tamasoft.co.jp/pepakura-en/

Topic by Teddyyyyybear 


Murphy style beds mechanism

Hey guys, I need some advice, I want to build a murphy style bed, in short i want the bed to look like so: http://www.resourcefurniture.com/space-savers/queen-space-saving-beds/ito I have build and tested the shelf.leg system, it works pretty well and is weighted out nicely. the concept is going to use pistons to lower the bed for a smoother feel but what my concern is what would be the best way to build the pivot mechanism at low cost but high durability. the bed will have a sofa at the front also but not like the one in the link, my version will be more of a box with cushion and fabrik that i can store items away into. Please use the link below to view a version of my concept for the pivot mechanism: http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/692/pivotsystem.jpg ( i know there are a few misspelt words but it was just a quick mock up for you guys) Any help is welcome - just dont advise me to buy the murphy bed mechanism as its to expensive and i believe i can build the entire bed for the same price :)

Topic by rron.r   |  last reply


Instructables for iPhone

Don't you hate it, when you've finished building something outside and you've forgotten your camera? Can't wait to publish an instructable when you're out and about, and have no access to a computer? Both of these have happened to me, and I had a good idea. I propose an iPhone app for instructables. This app would be better than browsing on your internet browser on the iPhone because it would be made for the iPhone screen rather than for a 16:9 monitor. I think that it should have at least the following features:  * Offline Instructable Editor  * Instructable uploader  * Online instructable browser  * User page, in which you can check comments and edit your profile etc.  * Onboard instructable saver - instead of having to go online and browse the site to find the instructable again, the app could have, for example, 2MB of allocated memory in which to save one or more simple pdf files or similar of instructables, which may be viewed at any time, even when the internet connection is faulty. I truly believe that this has potential, and I just hope that the admins see this. I don't have the means, funds or time to make this app but hopefully somebody does.  Feel free to post any more ideas, as this would be a community app and I'd like it to be suitable for as many people as possible. 

Topic by The Jamalam   |  last reply


Less then 2 yr old flat screen - has died....I believe...

My 17" Gateway flatscreen went blank this morning while I was at meeting. My wife claims she didn't do anything.....that it was blank when she saw it. It was not in sleep mode, nor was a screen saver on. I noticed the "power button" which is normally green (power up, with computer signal) or amber (powered up w/out signal), would not come on. I attempted to see if any of the adjustments on the side might have been bumped, no effect. I tested to make sure there was power from the surge protector (switched power outlets after a shut down) to no avail. After my 4th reboot, I subbed in my old monster sized 17" CRT tube monitor, and it works fine. Resolution is different, but it works.....but that pushed the monitor about 2 feet closer to my nose then I would like (it is about 10 inches from my face. )Did I miss anything as far as testing the monitor before replacing it? I personally think the PSU in the monitor went on the fritz, but I am open to suggestions. EDIT: The old CRT is now back ni it's storage area, and the newest LCD screen is up and running.

Topic by Goodhart   |  last reply


The Best Suggestion I can Make

The biggest thing that bugs me about the Instructables site occurs to me every. single. time. I visit.  I can't be the only one. This can't be the first time this has been mentioned --- can it? I know how to "fix" it, too, and I have done that on my end.  But still. It seems I ALWAYS have to hit that "View All Steps" button.  EVERY.  SINGLE. TIME. Yeah, I know I can login and change my settings. I did, and I do.  But the login cookie is set too short so it doesn't stick for long.  So I come, back from an email, and AGAIN- I have to go through the first step(s), HIT THAT G*#$&MN; "View All Steps" button, GO  BACK THROUGH THE FIRST STEPS ALL OVER AGAIN AND TRY AND PICK UP WHERE I LEFT OFF.   Arguh. There's this nifty thing called AJAX where you can have more steps loaded when you hit the bottom.  It's a bandwidth saver, but not a complete PITA for the user. All the good sites are doing it. And one is not.  This would be you. Fix this, please.  Your traffic and conversions will increase.  I've hated this issue for long before I became a web designer. Thank you, Instructables!

Topic by awemaker   |  last reply


I have a windows 7 pc and it used to work absolutely fine until a week ago. It cannot sign in. HELP Answered

Last week I found my screen started glitching out (the screen displayed a static image) and then my pc became unresponsive. From that point on it would not sign in because "windows could not find my profile;it does not exsist) even though my account is still there. i can get to it on safe mode. Then i tried unplugging everything from the pc which worked and i could log in. BUT now I am lucky if it logs in after 15 mins or most of the time it wont log in at all. but if it does log in the pc is perfectly fine and it is fast and none of my files are missing. If i let it sit for more then 10 mins then the screen saver freezes and the whole process starts over. I have done a disk check at start up like a billion times and each time it says something about deleting a: (lastalive~1) or something. It was not a brand new pc but i wiped the Hard drive and it worked fine for around 3 weeks until last week. As im writing this comment it decided to log in and now im gonna use it. PLEASE HELP. also i have tried restore points but it doesn't help anything. :(

Question by samuel.koppert   |  last reply


A LUSHcious Door Stopper- Simple/rustic FREE doorstopper for Oenophiles/Winos

I have a ton of these little "redneck thrift" tips- nothing "earth-shattering"- but there's an avalanche of these type d.i.y. tidbits in my new indie-small housing/redneck thrift book which you can check here (for any interested).....the entire first run of the book was paid for by recycled trash too!   http://www.relaxshacks.com   THE "LUSH"cious Door Stop by Derek Diedricksen I'll try to add a photo of one of these suckers soon, but its so simple, you prob don't need one. Materials: One single wine cork, a 3 1/2 black dry wall screew (or something equivalent), and some polyurethane (although not necessary). You could also stain the corks to match your molding or woodwork if need be. Construction Time: 1-2 min- seriously. The origin: I've never seen someone make one of these before, as unprofound as they are, but when I was self-finishing my basement, I really couldn't find any doorstoppers that I liked the look of, and that would fit the rustic look of my d.i.y. cave. shortly after, while suckin' down some cheap red vino one night and tossin' the cork into a giant container I have (I save them all for some future/eventual art project), it came to me. HOW: Just slowly center a drywall screw on the end of a cork, drill it in until the head "puckers" into the end of the cork (or you could pre drill and countersink), and that's it.  Not rocket science, but it makes for a cool, different, subtle conversation piece for those who notice. You could even go so far as to save a special occasion cork (say, the champagne cork from your wedding- or divorce-papers party- lol) and utilize it as a more meaningful doorstop- one with a great story behind it. They look pretty decent. And the cost is almost ZERO (one single screw!). Not that other door stoppers cost much, but when you factor in the time, cash, and trip to go buy the other plastic/metal ones at a box store, it is a time saver- and gives a unique, earthy look. Warning: You just may get a rep as a drunk if you use too many of these throughout the house!  I have one in my home, and plan to use them in a few of the cabins I've built and am building. -Derek

Topic by Deek D   |  last reply


New computer freezing problem

So I just built myself a new computer with the following specs gigabyte motherboard model: GA-MA770T-UD3P (rev. 1.0) phenom 2 tri core processor 4gb ddr3 mushkin ram radeon 4670 tp link wireless card 2 LCD's hooked up to the 4670 Windows 7 64-bit/ XP 64-bit (not at the same time) +tons of cooling so nothing is over heating I installed windows 7 and it kept freezing up every once in a while and I tried just about everything to fix it. Updating bios, cleaning the registry, making sure all the drivers are up to date, all sorts of things. So I thought it was Windows 7 giving me the problem. I uninstall windows 7 and installed windows xp. I loaded up everything got the drivers up to date and after a couple of hours it froze up. Then I rebooted and bam another freeze 3 minutes into being on the computer. And again the next time 15 minutes into being on the computer. Now Im not sure if the freezing is happening on windows 7 for the same reason as on Windows xp and it is driving me crazy not being able to use my new computer Any ideas on what I can do to fix the problem? Thanks for any help. Got some more details. 1) I noticed when I move a window around I my cp usage spikes from 1% to close to 30%. Not sure if this is normal but with tri core 2.8ghz doesnt seem like this is good. 2) When I have 3+ windows open and I drag them over each other it leaves a trail or shadow of its edge so it looks like I am dragging many windows. Sometimes this shadow is just white. 3) Also when I try to install a game the computer will always freeze before it finishes and most of the time right at the beginning. 4) When I press the button to force it to go off and then turn it back on it often just comes up with a black screen and I have to repeat. it always turns on the second time. How can I tell if it is my hardware? Just did a video stress test and benchmark. Everything was normal. Ran "cpu stability test 6.0". Watched it for 20 minutes then I left the computer and came back to see it frozen in screen saver. Speedfan temps- Temp 1- 26c temp2- 25c HD0- 26C core- 15c It is pretty cold in my room. I also found something that makes it freeze every single time I have done it so far. When trying to install world of warcraft as soon as I click agree in the install setup it freezes. 6 out of 6 times. My power supply is 500w "stable power"

Topic by Tanners   |  last reply


Funny Labels

These are hilarious!!! There all REAL funny product lables that people have found. Here's the link to where I got them: http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml Product Warnings: • "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet. • "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs. • "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. • "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron. • "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer. • "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer. • "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device. • "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. • "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan. • "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. • "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool. • "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant. • "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard. • "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn. • "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter. • "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image. • "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. • "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow. • "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater. • "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. • "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock." • "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box. • "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup. • "Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter." • "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee. • "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush. • "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. • "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old. • "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery. • "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion. • "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer. • "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. • "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod. • "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener. • "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener. • "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror. • "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski. • "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm. • "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty. • "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia. • "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone. • "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers. • "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink. • "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate. • "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant. • "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison. • "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757. • "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid. • "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller. • "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels. • "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck. • "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron. • "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine. • "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights. • "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume. • "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door. • "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. • "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets. • "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box. • "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box. • "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter. • "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy. • "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice. • "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. • "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan. • "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw. • "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer. • "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts. • "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing. • "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. • "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it." • "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds. • "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills. • "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle. • "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer. • "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. • "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame. • "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets. • "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack. • "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV. • "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack. • "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone. • "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch. • "Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions. See a scanned image. ________________________________________ Assurances: • "Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter. ________________________________________ Small Print From Commercials: • "Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store. • "Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean. • "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert. • "For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh. ________________________________________ Signs and Notices: • "No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere. • "Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950. • "These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church. • "All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire. • "Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine. • "Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic. • "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos. • "Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box. • "Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement. • "No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer. • "Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge. ________________________________________ Safety Procedures: • "Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building. • "In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp. ________________________________________ Ingredients: • "Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns. • "100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater. • "Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case. Materials: Covering: 100% Unknown. Stuffing: 100% Unknown." -- On a pillow. • "Cleans and refreshes without soap or water. Contains: Water, fragrance & soap." -- On the packet for a moist towelette. See a scanned image. ________________________________________ Instructions: • "Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch. • "Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills. • "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts. • "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11. • "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap. • "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper. • "Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner. • "Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits. • "In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual. • "Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill. • "The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position." -- Instructions for an espresso kettle. • "For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid." -- On a Domino's sandwich box. ________________________________________ Requirements: • "Optional modem required." -- On a computer software package.

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