Yeast fermentation for composting solution?

I threw some hay off my lawn and some green weecds into a garbage can, some sugar and yeast and formented it to slug beer but the slugs did not like it. It then fermented further to vinegar, and a crust of green "Mold?" covered it. seems to have protected the vinegar from further fermentation. I tried a second bigger batch ( morning glory weeds) with less sugar but after a few days of good fermenting it went rotten and stinky. So there are probably thresholds for sugar content. Would the yeast be a way of adding fertilizer to organic gardens? Yeast can (I think) convert urea and nitrate to protein. Perhaps some green stuff has enough sugar to work without sugar addition. vine prunings? maybe. The first batch, i put bleach in to kill off microbes before I added water and yeast. Perhaps hydrated lime would work instead of bleach and also get the ph good for yeast fermentation. This might be a cheap way of liming your garden. (Here in victoria, hydrated type s lime is cheaper than limestone for garden addition. (But it contains more calcium!) The "yeast tea" or vinegar tea could be used on the garden and the weeds could then be transfered to normal compost or used as mulch. It might be an alternative way of using diseased materials of composting seedy weeds to kill the seeds. Brian

Topic by gaiatechnician   |  last reply


Can i use rice wine waste in my COMPOST?

My dad brews rice wine, he stirs and filters it around every 2 weeks, can i use the remains ( the rice and yeast sediments) that he throws out, in my compost?

Question by janet_aj27   |  last reply


Is there a way to cultivating yeast at home for baking?

Was just wondering if there was a way of cultivating your own renewable supply of yeast at home from a fresh or dried starter?

Question by icecreamterror   |  last reply


How tom make your own Yeast Flocks? (As food complement)

Is it simply liquid fermented dow dehydrated at low temperature?

Question by FeteLeToiMeme   |  last reply


Ginger Beer not working?

Hey all, i have a ginger beer that i made. first ferment: Ginger, Sugar, water. then i split & filtered into 2 separate containers #1 added 500g honey, 500g sugar, & 1pkt yeast  (1080 SG) #2 added 850g Golden Syrup, 500g Sugar & 1pkt yeast. (1095 SG) both are airtight and have new airlocks and tubs have been sterilized.  the first one is working fine. the second one however looks like it is "eating" the yeast

Question by furby   |  last reply


The yeast in my mead is not creating any Co2. What should I do?

I've been brewing mead at home for a couple of months now. I started a 1 gallon batch of mint and honey mead about an hour ago and there is no activity going on in it. The yeast looks like it is swimming around but there is no carbonation bubbling to the top. I used dry active yeast which is what I've used for other batches over the past months. Q1: Should I wait until tomorrow and check it? Q2: Should I add another pack of yeast to it? Q3: Referring to Q2, will adding any more yeast to it cause a yeasty brew in the final product?

Question by foxy1paco   |  last reply


Biocouture: grow your own clothes.

Every so often, a bit of cutting edge science makes you sit back and think; This is so simple! Why didn't they think of this earlier? Instead of using animal parts, or plant fibres, BioCouture aims, ultimately, to grow entire garments in a vat. Right now, they grow mats of bacteria and yeast in a bath of nutrients, which spin mats of cellulose fibres that can be shaped into garments, resulting in a material dubbed "vegetable leather". The use of the material is limited - it cannot be worn in the rain, and it decomposes like any other vegetable matter, but the original team of artists have turned their idea over to "proper" scientists, who are working to modify the final product to be hydrophobic and longer lasting.  Until then, the garments they produce are unique, and transient, since they can end their useful lives on the compost heap. In the mean time, this is stuff grown in bath tubs - any Maker with a spare room and a biological leaning could be producing this stuff themselves. There's a patch for the first member to grow their own Robot t-shirt ;-)

Topic by Kiteman   |  last reply



Does anyone have a good babka recipe? Answered

Our local deli/bakery closed down and now we don't know where to get a babka (or bobka).  It a sweet yeast loaf with either cinammon/raisin  or chocolate/nuts rolled in.  The bready part is moist, yeasty, and the pieces pull apart because it's rolled.  I saw some pictures of a Polish-style babka made in a bundt pan; I don't know if it's the same. What I want is apparently the Jewish style.  

Question by alphabetgirl   |  last reply


Is there a good white bread recipe for a bread maker that requires no yeast, but yields a similar quality product?

I am trying out my bread maker for the first time and I forgot to pickup yeast at the store. I was wondering if there is a good recipe,maybe using baking powder, that yields a tasty white bread without the yeast.

Question by RCS82   |  last reply


What the T-Rex goin on?

Of all the food recipes on here, I see nothing of the sort for bread maker recipes. I just got one this christmas and have been making some rather delicious white bread and recently, carmalized onion bread, ooo god, F****** delicious.If no one has any good recipes to offer I'm gonna experiment myself and start posting some bread maker recipes, I like food and so does everybody else.

Topic by Punkguyta   |  last reply


The secret to storing Loquat for wine making!

If you don't know what Loquat means then just look it up on Google or Wikipedia ;)Mostly used as ornamental trees in the warmer climates Loquat fruits come into season right when the summer is on your doorstep.Although the fruits are delicious and high in nutrients, vitamins and so on: Most people do not even bother to try them :(So if you spot them please give the fruit a try and you might get hooked as did.The biggest problem of using Loquat for more than a direct snack is not the seeds inside.They are quite big and you figure ways out to get around them.Biggest hassle is how the fruits ripen.Unlike most real fruit trees there is fixed time.When the first fruits are ready then the last migh be ready about 3 or even 4 weeks later.And depending on the local wildlife you really need to check daily for ripe fruits....So how to do it properly then?Loquat goes bad really fast no matter what you try.Eat them quickly as otherwise they go off.Don't bother...Those are common answers you get from people who had those trees for years in their gardens.The trick however is really simple:Do not plug them off, cut them off!Some half decent pruning sizzors work great here, especially the smaller types.Cut the stem of the fruit so at least 5mm are left on the fruit.Without the hole from ripping the fruit off and handling it with gentle force there will be no damages or open areas ;)Like that the fruits stay fresh for a few days in your fridge, just make sure they are kept quite loose.Do not just fill a big box with them and hope all fruits survive the pressure ;)If in doubt layer them on soft foam strips or cardboard - works really well if can find complete clusters that are ripe enough.If you have access to more than one big tree you can get enough to even make a really nice wine from it.You need to be quick though, so let me tell you how I do it:Prepare a big enough fermentation vessel, in my case a 25 liter plastic drum, purpose made...Add about 10 liters of warm on prefably filtered water, some sugar and a good amount of your prefered brewing yeast.My personal favourite here is port wine yeast ;)You should prepare this drum once you can collect enough ripe fruits on a daily base.Prepare the fruits by removing the stems, the hard spot at the bottom and then cutting them in half.A small spoon can be sharpened to help to get the seeds out if have some with many little ones hiding.Have a pot with boiling water ready and put about 250 to 400 grams of prepared and cleaned fruits in it per load.A quick heating is essential as you want to keep the cooking time as low as poosible.90 to 120 seconds should be enough to get the heat throughout the fruit - please check every now and then that the fruits are quite soft now.This step is vital to prevent self fermentation - you only want your yeast cultures to work on the fruits ;)Squash the fruits when adding them into your drum.To make a full 25 liters with just a table spoon of sugar at the start you will need about 10 to 12 kg of fruits for a high volume and sweet result.The best option due to the constantly changing sugaar content in the fruits is to go with the flow.Stick to max of about 15 liters per 25 liter drum.Monitor the sugar content and alcohol level.Port yeast dies off at a bit over 14%vol of alcohol.Although some strong ones go up to 18% here...If the alcohol level goes over 10% while the sugar content is still quite high then you add water until you get down to about 7%.If the sugar content goes down too low you add more fruits.With still enough active yeast you can even transfer half oa drum to a new batch once the drum is getting too full and the sugar content is still too high.Just a matter of getting used to working with ongiong adding of fruits and water to compensate the time it takes to get enough ripe fruits.Of course there is always the option to go low and start with 5 liter canisters instead....

Topic by Downunder35m 







How do we make our hard cider effervescent?

 We add yeast, campden tablets let it sit & it is flat.

Question by eastequip   |  last reply



I am looking for a quick and easy bread roll recipe?

Without the use of yeast! I know of a biscuit recipe, any others like it?

Question by ayamevida   |  last reply


mini batches of wine

Im gonna start making mini batches of wine to see what kinds im gonna mass produce.......is there a formula for sugar to yeast......im making them in pet bottles or cocacola bottles

Topic by rollingstoner357 


Soda carbonation?

Hi I want to carbonate my own soda with co2 (everytime I use yeast it comes out wrong/disgusting). I know I need a co2 tank and a keg, but what do I need in between? (simplest system possible).

Question by rushfantomsawyer   |  last reply


Has anyone thought of 'brewing' tea in the same way as beer? Answered

I know that tea leaves are sometimes used as a yeast nutrient in other drinks but I was wondering if you could get a "stronger" and fizzy ice tea thing going on?

Question by jokerlz   |  last reply


accidental syrup fermentation

I made some blackberry simple syrup the other day, and realized that it has started to ferment. I was baking bread around the same time, and it smells like bread yeast, so I imagine that's the culprit. It's currently in empty glass Izze bottle with a plastic bar stopper in my pantry, and is happily bubbling away. My questions are: How do I keep it fermenting? (does it need to be in dark/light, what are good temps, should I put a different stopper on it, how can you tell when it's done?) Has anyone fermented with bread yeast, and how does that turn out? Has anyone fermented syrup before? Does it make mead, or does it turn out more like liqueur? Thanks for the interest, and hopefully this will turn into an instructable later! 

Topic by luckbug   |  last reply


Trying to make ethanol out of grass, what chemicals could I use to break down the grass into simpler sugars?

Grass is made up of starchy carbohydrates which I think would not be converted to ethanol by yeast. What could I use to break down the starch into simpler sugars?

Question by quagss   |  last reply


What will the abv be?

Hi all I'm new to brewing made some cider today the specific gravity was 6 what will the end result be used normal yeast this time made some a couple of weeks ago and forgot to measure sg it's now at 3 am I reading my hydrometer right anyone know how ill get the true abv of this batch thanks jolly

Question by Jollyr6 


How do I reduce my alcohol allergy?

How do I reduce my alcohol allergy? Tested it, and No, it's not the sulfates... or the pigments... or the fruits/grains... or gluten... or yeast. I'm allergic to alcohol; so in addition to a hangover, I get a full-body rash the next day... and it lasts for half a week after that >.<. HALP pls

Question by jongscx   |  last reply


homemade pizza with it's dough

Pizza dough ingredients: 1 1/2 cups warm water 2 tbsp. sugar 1 1/4 oz. packet of dry yeast 1 1/2 tsp. salt 2 tbsp. olive oil 4 cups white all purpose flour Instructions: Pour the warm water in a larger mixing bowl. Add the sugar & package of yeast. Stir the mixture slowly until yeast & sugar are dissolved. Let sit to allow the mixture to "mature" for about ten minures or so. the mixture will begin to react; clouding & forming a foamy "head" on the surface of the mixture. Add the salt & olive oil & stir again to combine & dissolve the ingredients. Add 1 cup of flour & whisk in until dissolved. Add the 2nd cup of flour & whisk it in. Add the 3rd cup of flour & combine. By now the dough mixture should be fairly thick. Add the last cup of flour & with your hands,beginto combine & knead the dough And now you have you pizza dough finished so you will be first putting on your pizza sauce & baking it at 400% in you oven for 10-12 minutes after the dough tures to be alittle thicker then take it out of the oven a put on cheese  & if you want to you may go ahead & put on any kind of toppings that you like then put it back int the oven for about 6-8 minutes or undil it turns alitte brown. Then you may take it out & eat after you cut it.

Topic by Skull   |  last reply


homebrew distilling question is this safe-see picture. Answered

Hi, I saw instructions about homebrewing in a book i downloaded and have now lost. The picture shows the essence of it. Is this safe? would it actually concentrate the alcohol? the idea is to keep topping up the mash with sugar and water, using high alcohol tolerance yeast. would distilling the product of this make a safe product? thanks.

Question by djsc   |  last reply


Saving home made wine !HELP!

Hey people so iv made my own brew its out of blackberrys and a little kiwi fruit with plenty of sugar water and yeast and its gone a little acidic, i can still taste alcohol and sugar still its just verry acidic, is there anything i can do to help bring the acidity down? thanks for anyones help.

Topic by Underground Breweries   |  last reply


Home Brewing--Mead

I'm trying to make mead for the first time. The must has been sitting with an air lock for about two weeks now, and while I do see bubbles forming at the top of the must I don't see any activity in the fluid filled air lock. I have seen other home brewing attempts and those airlocks were blooping gas all over the place. Should I add more yeast or just be patient?

Question by Dinosaurs9   |  last reply


what is the best way to make apple juice wine on the cheap?. Answered

I was told put apple juice and bakers yeast and 1 cup off sugger to 2 galon of juice and didnt come out so good.i have a air lock cork and sugar and juice which is 100 pec apple juice what could i change ?any sug would be most appreciated. thank you tim from fl usa

Question by gizzlos   |  last reply


Sour dough starter for all bread types?

I am wanting to make bread with captured yeasts and have read the article from My Sister's Kitchen on making sourdough starter. Does this mean any bread I make using the starter will be of sourdough taste?? I like that but what if I am wanting to make just whole wheat or flax seed bread without the sour taste?? Do I need a different type of starter? Can someone clarify this for me. Thanks.

Question by sailgirl   |  last reply


How do I keep my scratch made Pizza Dough soft and chewy, not tough? Answered

I make a yeast dough ahead of time in a bread maker.  Unfortunately the dough must usually sit out a couple of hours because I have no timer on my dough setting. Does overproofing make dough tough?  How can I reduce this effect Are there other things I can do to make my dough "tender?"

Question by hardlec   |  last reply


I want to make ethanol from food waste for my science fair project. How to remove co2 while remaining anarobic, Thanks

I want to make ethanol from food waste for my science fair project. I use food waste and yeast for this process. I wantr to know how to remove Co2 produced in this process while remaining anarobic for the fermentation to occur. If i put a tube, will it bring back outside air into the system? Thanks,

Question by    |  last reply


How to make Commercial Grade Apple Cider?

I'm not sure if my question was forwarded, so here it is again!  I have a Food Grade 250gal container that is within a medal cage, that keeps the container from over expanding!  What I want to know is how much Sterling Compound do I need per gal.?  I also want to know how much Yeast it takes for a 'start'? Is it possible, to put Whole Cored Apples into the container and let them break down a 'must'  much like Whole Cluster Fermentation in Grape Wine?

Question by Geno Landrum   |  last reply


i keep trying to make soft and eatable bread? Answered

My bread comes out hard and not able to eat. I let it rise then i push the air out and shape it lt it rise again then bake in the oven at 350 for about as long as it might take that the top is light brown. i tried using yeast let feed first then added to my flour. may be i am missing some thing frustrated on bread. i want to learn because i want to teach it to some kids. I use to make good bread learned it from the bread man of a restaurant called sabros. Help me please

Question by dorotheabrown37   |  last reply


small 12v heater element control

Hi, looking for a bit of advice from electronically literate folks... I'm planning a low-temp water heating device that will keep a water/yeast/sugar solution at around 38C to produce optimum levels of CO2. so far what i have in mind is using a cheap 12v car immersion heater (the type used for making hot drinks on the go), powered by 4 x 3.7v lithium batteries in series (giving me roughly the right voltage range). The part i'm now trying to figure out is regulating the heating of the solution. I'm considering using an LM35 component to monitor the temperature via contact on the outside of the vessel. What i'm stuck on is what other components would i need in the circuit to take the  voltage output of the LM35 and use it to control the 12v immersion heater to maintain a temperature of around 35 degrees? Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks!

Topic by RionZion   |  last reply


The little moonshiner....

Found an old topic that someone reactivated with a reply, so I though I do a new one to make it easier. "Moonshine" can be as tasty as any good spirit from the shops. I have done a few liters back in my days... There are a few things to consider right from the start though. What type of sugar is used, e.g. fruits, corn, wheat, potatoes or plain sugar and water. Equally important is the yeast, some prefer natural fermantation, others use baker's yeast, most prefer dedicated yeasts for wine. Even the water used plays a role in the final taste!Hygine is another thing that many people overlook or neglect. Anything that can grow in a warm and sweet enviroment will grow rapidly! That means if your yeast is not good or fast enough, other cultures can take over and sometimes totally change the outcome and quality. In some cases, like with fruits to the better but usually to the worse. Imagine you want to bake a nice cake with vanilla in it. But since your vanilla stick is already quite old and you stored it together with your garden herbs in one jar.... You get the idea of taste I hope ;) Just go from start to finnish like you would prepare chicken meat together with fish - keep it clean, keep it healthy.The still.... Now, if you trust some old blokes doing moonshine since they were kids then it all sounds so easy. But for the hobby brewer there are now tons of options available. Basic pot stills you can put on your stove, electric ones that are basically just an electric boiler with a cooling tube, tower models with several levels of control or the good old "reflux" still in copper. Why is it important to know your way around stills? Again, if you ask a cook then he will tell you why he uses a certain pot for certain dishes or why he won't work with certain materials. Sometimes it is for taste or ease of handling, often just preference. Lets check the main differences in material. We have the modern stainless steel and the classic copper. Stainless steel is easy to clean, won't affect the taste and won't cause any chemical reactions that would alter the taste of your product. That is true only if you trust the manufacturers ;) To compensate for the problems I will explain in a bit they use all sorts of gadgets. I call them brewing helpers and explain them in a bit. Copper on the other hand is now quite expensive and also deemed to be a pain to clean and sanitise. To be honest: how hard it is to clean a still only depends on the design. If you can seperate it into nice straight pieces with good access you can clean anything. But copper was and still is the prefered option for drinking vessels and cookware in a lot of cultures - and it is coming back into our kitchens now as well. Why is that then? Copper has natural sanitising abilities but also reacts with a lot of chemicals. And since copper is considered to be a "good" metal, these reactions usually happen only directly on the copper. Meaning all reaction products stay on the copper as well. Work with fruits or potatoes and a copper still can look dark black and really ugly when done. Do the same in a steel still and then compare the taste ;) Copper produces a far better taste! Especially sufur based compounds react strongly with the copper but also anything causing bad smells or tastes is reduced big time. To flux, reflux not not to flux at all!? A basic still heats the mesh to a set temperature, a cooling coil or similar lets the steam condensate and the alcohol (and everything else) drips out. More complex models have a more tower like appearance and with that allow for a better temperature control. Here the steam will cool down in the tower and at the right height you have the outlet. Brings a much more refined product. The best is still the reflux still however. Here the steam is allowed to travel further and cool down completely. Only a fraction is allowed to come out while the rest runs back down into the heated pot. From first to last model the quality, taste and purity improve. Lets take a closer look on what actually happens inside a still:Once the mix is hot enough that something can turn into a vapor or gas form it will try to escape. That is why we usually discard the first "head" coming out - it contains the most methanol for starters but also the worst of tastes. Again more on heads and tails later ;)In a simple still all steam produced is now turned back into a liquid.One reason why the alcohol concentrations is quite low, around 40%.But also the reason for the low quality taste that can happen.Even with a generous amount of head removed literally everything that is in the opt ends up in the spirit.A good temperature control is a must have and the less deviation the better.And as with all pots running low, once you are low enough all impurities left in your mesh will be concentrated.If the bottom now gets too hot they release unwanted tastes...We skip the tower models and go right to the reflux as the later is just better and includes all there is to say about the tower models anyway.At least on a hobby level a reflux still already starts with a quite tall boiling vessel.It just allows a better and more evenly heating of the mesh inside.While the bottom part is hotter than the top currents form that constantly mix what is inside.The heat is controlled so there is no real boiling, in the best option so that no part of the pot will go over 85° C.When all is hot enough so the first alcohol could run out the system is actually still closed.All vapour has to run back down the tower - which is why some towers even come with cooling fins...As a result all things with a low boiling point will stay in the tower as vapor and once the still is opened they come out first.The heads can be much smaller then too ;)Since the outlet is set at a suitable height and is naturally cooler than the steam, a lot of steam will condense above the outlet.Much more below it and only a fraction is collected to run to the outlet.That means that once the system has reached stable temps throughout that the tower is filled with ethanol vapour only.And since it is constantly re-boiled and runs back down and up all that comes out is already at quite high concentrations.With a good setup as high as 95% vol.It also means that you can have a great level of control about what exactly ends in your ethanol.Depending on how high the outlet is located a different amount of things that can either bond with ethanol or have a similar boiling temperature will be collected.Sole reason why most simple pot stills are designed to work with sugar and clean water only...When working with fruits as a base you often want quite a lot of the flavours and tastes preserved.Only experience and trying will get you tot he sweet spot where the alcohol content is just right and all wanted flavours are included.Go too high with your quality and the alcohol is too pure, go too low and the taste is bad...Which of course brings us back to why you should take your time before the cooking starts!I know far too many people who have no patience when it comes to the end of fermantation.Some yeast might be still active, far too much sugar left over in the mesh or just not enough care in general...You want most if not all of the sugar gone and used.What is not dead in terms of yeast needs to be dormant due to the alcohol concentration.And that can be the tricky part already!You see, once yeast dies off quickly due to the alcohol only the strong survive.In some cases, especially if you re-use your leftovers often, these few can still be active at over 20% of alcohol volume in the mix.The best option is to have a spare fridge and to put the entire container or drum in there.Let it sit cold for a few days, the yeast goes dormant, all sediments settly down to the bottom as no CO2 is produced anymore.Once all is really nice and clear use a hose or similar to remove the clear content only!Be careful here and once the levels are low use a seperate container to drain off!Take out what you can and if in doubt let what you take settle again for a day or two.Doing this time consuming step will make sure you only boil up what brings you the good stuff.On the other hand, when using potatoes, fruits or such you might have to press the liquid out and and add that to what you drained off already.I prefer to do this first and just put it back into the big drum again to let it all settle together.Ok, you only use sugar anyway but what comes out just does not taste or smell right...Would also mean you only use a basic still...As mentioned before the heads are what contains all the nasties.There are ways to actually measure if there is methanol present but for what we do now this is not so important.When the dripping start use shot glasses or such to catch it.Preferably while watching it ;)Smell what it is the glass when you put the next one under.The first glass should smell quite bad anyways.Quickly the smell in the glasses will change to something more "pure" and alcohol like - now start collecting for use.With a simple but good controlled still you will see the flow increases and levels out at some point.When the volume starts to go down your tails start.It is good practise to now use a seperate collecting vessel for the rest until what comes to fully discard.At some point you will notice the difference between just enough and really good temperature control.In a really good system the flow will go down to a slow drip or even stop.While in a dirt simple one the flow will just slow down for a while and then suddenly start running again.This running happens when the remainig water starts boiling...Keep smelling what comes out and once the taste or smell changes noticably again use a different container to collet what comes out. - This is you first tail collection.What comes out until the smell and taste go bad is your second tail collection - now you can turn your still off for a while.Let all what you collected cool down to room temperature is not already.Check what you collected from the heads, helps to have small jars for this ;)From start to last the smell should get better.If the last two or three collections smeel somehow interesting then add them to your main collection.Smell the first tail collection again - it should not be that bad anymore, especially if you let it cool down slightly open.Especially when working with fruits you might to add quite a bit of this to your main collection.If only sugar was used just move on to the last tail collection.In case you still don't like the smell mix the tail collection together and keep in a seperate and sealed vessel.Those tail collections can then later be used to destill them again (with more tails from other runs) to get a decent cleaning alcohol or something that might still be worth adding in small amounts for a better overall taste.However for sugar only mixes it can be considered to be for cleaning purposes only.What you have now is little waste and a lot of almost good alcohol.It still contains more or less amounts of unwanted things that mainly come from the yeast and their by-products.To "clean" you alcohol the best option is to destill it again - it will also increase the concentration quite a bit.Best option here is to use properly filtered and prefeably demineralised water to get back to a full fill of the still.If your still is quite small and what you collected would make for one or two full fills then go for it.Be warned though that you should not fill it up to the full mark, a bit under is better as the mix now will boil far quicker and more violent.Personally I prefer to have the alcohol conectration in the still at around 205% only.As we already discarded the worst of the worst in the heads during our first run only a tiny amount, like half a shot glass should be too bad in terms of taste and smell.Whatever comes after shall be fine.Again, once the tails start try to be carefull and if you can slow things down a notch.You will see a quite destinct reduction in the flow rate once the tails start - use a new container right away.The alcohol concentration should now drop quickly too as another indicator.If you want just pure tasting alcohol add what you comes out from this point to your tails container for later use as you don't want to drink it.Again, for fruits and potatoes you might want to keep the first bit of the collected tails.You alcohol concentration should now be already over 75% even if a basic still was used.The overall volume you collected will be lower accordingly of course - so don't be too disappointed by the liters you got from the second run.In a perfect world you now would use some nice barrel and let your creation age...But since we do moonshine...There is a chance that even after two runs you still taste and smell things you don't want or like.So if in doubt do it all again and get to 90 or more percent...Either way the final stuff should be now either watered down (filtered and clean of course) to the desired level.How to further improve on the outcome....There are little helpers along the way to get far bette results than without using them.If you check ready to go kits then they often contain specialised yest strains, a carbon mix and some "clearing aids".The yeast part is obvious, although I do prefer life prt wine yeast anyway.Carbon or activated charcoal is used to bind some of the bad odors and tastes the yeast produces.Keep in mind they are designed to work together, unlike using proper wine making cultures.Using power yeasts without carbon always results in a low quality.The clearing aids actually change the acidity levels and cause some things to mineralise or otherwise change so they settle to the ground.But they mainly make sure the yeast is dead.If you only use sugar then these kits are your easiest option and just follow their instructions.For fruits or anything else however you might want to try the slow route and use actual wine making yeasts for a change ;)And of course here we do not use carbon at all as we actually want to keep the taste of waht we use.We already had the proper way of getting the mesh to settle down, so that bit is clear.For sugar only you can now try to run your creation through activated charcaol or just add it and mix it.Let it sit and mix again for a few days.You do not need to filter the black stuff out, just drain it carefully and run the last bit through a coffee filter.Nothing will end in your destilled product.Inside the still you can use ceramic bioling thingies of all sorts.They provide a surface for water or mix to boil on instead of just the bottom.If you can't them for a good price then just use the stuff for aquarium filters ;)As said earlier too, copper is good but most modern stills are made from steel.If you can't find any copper wool pot cleaners you can cut some plumbing pipe into small sections.Inside the boiling vessel they will quickly turn brownish black while collecting bad things.Cleaning is easy with some cirtic acid/delimer/coffee machine cleaner...For a tower or reflux still it really helps to have these copper pads or wool inside for a far greater surface area to aid condensation and slow down the run off.I know how hard it is to get the stuff these days so if no other option use stainless steel ones and only loose the benefit of more cleaning through chemical reactions.Tools that come in handy....Monitoring the sugar and alcohol level to know when the mesh is right is quite obvious.What might not be is that you can correct bad level towards the end of fermentation.Yeast already dying slowly but far too much sugar left? Just add luke warm water to lover the alcohol conectration...Yeast going dormant with low alcohol levels? The sugar might be out so chack and if in doubt add some more.A good stir will help the remaining yeast to get more active in a day or two.So these little glass measuring tools should be put to good use from the start.During the destillation a purpose made overflow pipe to hold your alcohol tester is extremly helpful!The destilled liquid goes in through a pipe or hose at the bottom of the pipe.The bottom is closed, the top open to allow to drop the alcohol tester inside.Overflow or outlet should be just under the rim.During your run you can now see directly how the alcohol content changes.It will stabilse once the heads are finnished and get a slight rise just before it drops during the tails section.Improving basic desing of a basic still...Once you are done with a dead simple pot still and buy a reflux or tower model you might wonder why you did not build one yourself.What looked good on the pics and in the shop turns out to be still a bit away from perfect.The outlet might not have any flow control or is located to low/high.The vital overpressure protection might be missing and the thing sometimes runs out like a garden hose...For the later you can slavage some old pressure cooker and use the weight with the screw in counterpart in the lid ;)A simple hole in the top with flat weight on it works too, I used an old rubber plug from my bathtub one (could not find the purpose made one in time).For the outlet you can cheat a bit ;)Wrapping the tower with some insulating material improves on the heat loss - this helps if the still struggles to heat enough to provide a proper flow rate.Cooling the tower with wet towels, running water or similar well help on hot days or if the outlet is located reall high with little chance to provide decent condensation in the lower parts.How to cheat with the barrel....No matter if you just run with sugar or if you prefern corn, wheat, fruits....For some spirits good taste means good age.And well, good age for commercial spirits usually happens by resting in wooden drums.Oak, white oak, red gum and several other types of wood are used.Some small destilleries even use only locally available wood and won't even tell you which tree it was...Means we have a few chocices if we don't want to stick to the well known classics.But how do we make a barrel ?A good one is not just made from any old wood - the wood needs to be of the right age and moisture.To keep it simple just treat it like your firewood and let it rest for the same time.A good barrel is often "charred" - burnt with a flame or by rolling it with burning charcoal inside.This does two imortant things:1: It provides charcoal to bind remaining bad stuff.2: It releases some sugars from the wood plus resins and othe stuff.Both are an essential part of the final product and aging process!Now it becomes clear why a good sprit cost more than vodka...Using a neutral vessel like glass to age your spirit is one thing, preparing the wood the right way another...You see, size matters here in several ways.Big chunks provide a decent surface are without causing too much debris.The also provide more tannins for the color and more resins and sugar.Smaller chunks provide more charcaol for a higher level or binding impurities.But both will soak up far more alcohol than the correspong barrel size would!Obviously, if you are on a small scale on only got about 5 liters of alcohol to deal with loosing much is bad.The best way to char the wood IMHO is inside a clsed can or steel box.Just a small vent hole and a lot of turning with the right eye for when the wood is charred enough to be black and sealed.Opinions vary here but I use about a cup full of wood per 5 liters of alcohol at around 93% vol.Some goes for the storage, apart from dark some can't really agree here.Tossing and turning is as much prefered as undisturbed resting - take your own pick.The thig I do differently after the filtering off is to re-use the wood that is soaked.It goes into a freezer bag until the next run of the still and then the frozen wood is just added to the second still run to get back the alcohol in it, plus some nice taste and smell :)

Topic by Downunder35m 


Science Section

Is it just me, or is the science section as a whole getting suckier?Science is my best subject. I get A's in school, avidly read Scientific American and other science magazines, read physics and astronomy books, and once gave a 45 minute speech about the viability of Algae as bio fuel (Instructable coming soon) for a science project. So obviously, when I first joined, I ate up the science section, reading through great instructables, like the ones created by egbertfitzwilly (oh, shut up, you know who I mean) and other great instructablers. I loved them. Now however, it seems to be full of toy guns, electronics projects that belong in tech and recipes. Goda**it, just because your beer recipe uses yeast doesn't make it a freaking science fair project! If your instructable doesn't need a second category, DON'T GIVE IT A SECOND CATEGORY. Whoa, that was hard, eh? For instance, this. Its not a bad Instructable, sure, what what the heck is it doing in the science section? How about the ginger beer instructable? Or smart LED's? Or a coding machine? I want, and I'm sure others want, more Egbert and Nurdrage styled instructables, with cool stuff that makes us go "Whoa" and want to do it ourselves, not some of the random junk that people seem to throw in to get an extra 3 hits.

Topic by Rotten194   |  last reply


Beer, brewing, bottling, and CO2

This started as an unrelated comment thread on a post about freezing blueberries. It seems like such a great topic I created this forum for it. Brewers? Ideas? Beergnome: I do it for a living ;) we force carbonate as a rule. we only naturally carbonate for special order casks. our economy of scale doesn't allow otherwise.. fezrock it is possible to create a counter pressure rig for judging bottles for your homebrew, I'm sure there is an instructable for it,, if not there should be. it requires you creating an envelope of CO2 in the bottle, then having a T rig that will take the beer under pressure in the bottle with counter pressure of CO2 to keep the dissolved CO2 in the beer in solution. Its a bit of work, but if you care about competition at all. a clean bottle always bumps up the score. Fezrock: Nice career! I'm still quite the novice, but practice makes better! As to your question, I haven't seen anything like it. Topping the bottle out with CO2 would help the end product, but wouldn't do much for pressure loss. Nitrogen would be similar, but whichever is the heavier gas (not sure) would be marginally better for this lo-tech solution. On a small scale, if a sealed environment could be created to fit your capper around your cap, more gas pressure could be applied. I imagine an upright lever capper would be needed to work that out. Thanks for that idea seed! On a larger scale, if you could cap in a larger chamber, you could set the CO2/N2 pressure in the chamber to whatever you needed it to be. This would also give you space to insert your brew without introducing air. Or just overcarbonate the brew to make up for carbonation loss to outgassing. Crazy idea: add a small amount of dry ice without freezing the brew. (you don't need leftover yeasts anyway!) It sounds like a fun experiment, and could be adjusted to suit your pressure needs.

Topic by fezrock 


Make Cement From Scratch? Answered

I have spent a great deal of time working on this question yet, I have no solid answer to go on.  I tend to enjoy acquiring a skill set which would be very useful come TEOTWAWKI (the end of the world as we know it).  I am far from a prepper, however I still entertain a slight possibility and see no problem with learning how to do a little more than cope. These skills extend from knowing where to grow, gather, and how to store penicillin to simple things like a yeast starter 100% from scratch.  Brewing and distilling are also handy because it makes a great trade item.  These are all things you never see in the Walking Dead or any other TEOTWAWKI cinema.  One of the more important skills I believe would be conjuring fortress walls from rocks in the form of a little thing we know as concrete which we all take for granted.  Now I could mix portland cement and filler with some water all day long and make a pretty cool fortess, but seriously.  All the home depots in my state wouldn't have enough quick rite for that.  So today I wan't to know what general rocks and minerals (that you can find in nature) can you combine to make cement.  I know there are all kinds of fancy names for these, but what I really need is some good old generalities.  Tell me to go outside grab a handful of clayish dirt, but it in a kiln with some lime and grind it up.  I'm not looking for top of the line stuff here, this just needs to be able to hold a general form for a few years and be a little bullet resistant.  This is for a crude fort, not the tallest building in the world or the hoover dam.  A simple mortar would also be nice, although there really aren't any stones around to put together, bricks aren't super hard to make with as much clay as we have in our soil. So join me and maybe I will put together an instructible on all the skills you actually need but don't have!

Question by jj.inc   |  last reply


Food Creator and dispensor

This project is currently in the research stage. Having been reading the books 'Zero to Maker' by David Lang (OpenROV) and 'The Toaster Project' by Thomas Thwaites I have realised what I need is a project with a goal to take me out of the Arduino blinky light and solder kit zone, in to real making/hacking. Lang suggests an 'Unknown Project' which as I understand it is one that has been unexplored or under-explored, and he also suggests that using a popular forum to log, share and discus ideas would help the process along. So my idea, is an open hardware food creating machine, that will produce a large array of food, from a limited array of ingredients (approx 50) that can be made easily, and a ingredient markup language. 3d food printers in current development are either impractical or unappealing to me. They range from candy makers, ones that still need to be hand finished and cooked or the one publicised for receiving NASA funding recently used dead bugs. They seem all to focus on the gimmick, and not the food, and I like food. The other approach is the barbots, which seem to mostly perform flawlessly, but are unable to produce food. So my approach is to work through the process logically and break it down to sub projects. Design meals by hand using the limited ingredients for proof of concept, choose the ingredients to provide the widest possible range of nutrients and transpose the recipies to psudocode that can be easilly transformed in to a markup language later. Design a process for mixing and cooking ingredients. I envision a system of different food processors, steamers, boilers etc. and a range of extruding dies. Design a self cleaning system. Possibly ultrasonic or ionic. To that end, here is my preliminary list of ingredients. sugar, salt, oil, water, co2,Alcohol 37.5%,pectin,bicarb,nutritional yeast coffee,tea,mint,cocoa,garlic,oregano,chilli powder, paprika rice,soya,corn,wheat lemon extract,orange extract,tomato powder,dried apple,dried carrots,dried peas,potato powder. These ingredients can be used to make among other things, sausages, burgers, curry's, pasta, fries, soups, cereals, 'cider', cocktails, deserts, sodas, sauces, egg cheese and milk substitutes. So that's my plan. What do you guy think, and what ingredients would you add and why? And what would you call it? There are loads of things I left out as everything will change as I work through the process. Thanks for reading, Haydn

Topic by HaydnJones   |  last reply


Cách làm bánh bao như thế nào là ngon?

Bánh bao nấm thơm, ngon, đẹp mắt. Hướng dẫn cách làm bánh bao ngon. Nguyên liệu: - 300g bột mì - 180ml nước ép cà rốt - 8g men nở (yeast) - 250g thịt heo (lợn) xay - 100g nấm tươi - Một ít dầu mè Xem thêm: cach lam sua chua Bánh bao nhân nấm căng mịn với vỏ bánh rất mềm và ngon, nhân bánh cực kỳ thơm. Tham khảo: cách làm giá đỗ Cách làm bánh bao nấm: Làm ấm nước ép cà rốt: các bạn có thể cho vào lò vi sóng hoặc đun ở lửa nhỏ trong khoảng 30s. Sau đó, hòa men nở vào. Làm ấm nước ép cà rốt: các bạn có thể cho vào lò vi sóng hoặc đun ở lửa nhỏ trong khoảng 30s. Sau đó, hòa men nở vào. Trộn đều bột mì với hỗn hợp nước cà rốt ở trên rồi nhào thật kĩ cho đến khi bột không còn dính tay. Đậy kín bột rồi ủ ở nơi thoáng trong khoảng 1 – 2 tiếng cho đến khi bột nở gấp đôi. Băm nhuyễn thịt heo với nấm tươi rồi trộn đều tất cả với một ít muối và dầu mè. Chia bột thành 15 phần bằng nhau rồi cán mỏng thành miếng tròn. Cho một ít nhân vào giữa rồi gập đôi miếng bột lại. Xếp nếp phần viền bánh. Xếp bánh vào nồi hấp và để yên khoảng 20′ để bánh nở cố định. Khi thấy bánh nở phồng lên khoảng 1/3 thì các bạn bật bếp thật to để hấp bánh trong khoảng 15'. Sau đó, tắt bếp, để yên khoảng 3' rồi mới lấy bánh ra khỏi nồi.  Với cách hấp kiểu này, bánh sẽ nở xốp mà không bị xẹp khi lấy ra khỏi nồi đấy! Xem thêm: món ngon mỗi ngày

Topic by Tạp chíP   |  last reply


Why is it so bad that the small bakeries disappear more and more...

Everyone loves a good bread roll, a nice and freshly baked bread...But where does it come from and what is really in it?When it comes to bread and bread rolls we tend to think all is fresh, especially when you see that your favourite supermarket has a bakery with a real oven.Our local baker that took over the business from his father not only sees a thread but also is unable to compete with the price.The consumer only too often selects by price only if look and taste seem to be good.A bread roll for under 20 cents, a whole bread for just over $2 and I am not talking toast here...So how is such a price possible or how can a "bakery" provide 30 or more different types of rolls and bread with just one or two small ovens and a tiny kitchen area?The trick on a small scale is to use ready to go mixes, just add yeast and water and you are set to go.On a big scale we talk about dough that is frozen, sometimes pre-baked but alsways already in the shape of the finnished product.Since there is just flour, salt and yeast in it what could the harm?Like with soft drinks and alcohol not all ingredients are legally required to be listed.Enzymes, antioxidants, modifiers and more.The claim is that ingredients that disappear during the baking need not mentioning at all.If we check how these helping substances are made we get everything from bacteria and fungi over chemical compositions that are lab created and even things that are totally engeneered.Why use nature if you can made the substance in a lab...Most countries have authorities that deal with just these things and their use.So as long as every single ingredient is legal and does not require to be listed it is fair game.The problem here is that no one really knows what goes into the dough for these ready to bake frozen products.As we know from our chemistry lessons in school even totally harmless components can combine to a harmful endproduct.Especially enzymes are used to to modify everything from DNA over meat products to modifying the appearence and shelf life of a product.For most if not all the secret ingredients used we are assured they are conform with the local law and food regulations but we will never know where they came from or how they could interact with each other.Every dentist will tell you that cheap, white (so called) bread is pretty much the worst for your teeth.The usual claim here is that it is too soft, might contain too much sugar but in general the carbohydrates convert to harmful sugars and food for bacteria.These bacteria then harm your teeth...This alone however has shown to be a bit of a misjudgement.If you take the official ingredients on their own then their harm on the teeth is basically non existing.It is again the enzymes and their remains that do the hard work by providing the base to convert a lot of contents directly to sugars through these bacteria.If we now go a step further and consider that bacteria do a pretty good in our body to keep a healthy balance and convert nutrients for us we have to wonder...A thing of our modern time is alleries, same for intolerance to certain foods.The sources for these are plentyful but apart from shielding ourselfs agains all bacteria, viruses and germs in general food is a common factor.Regions with limited or no access to processed foods or drinks show little to no signs of our common allergies or common helth conerns like heart disease or obesity.When it comes to our bread products it is obvious that we consume a lot of it and simply trust the claims on the pack.Rich in omega 3 added fibres, wholemeal...A real baker starting shortly after midnight to produce fresh products for his customer will just shake his head.There are many studies that show us the quality of certain foods, also a lot that show how fast food is bad for you.But when it comes to investigating the bread we eat every day we only find meaningless informations.The long term effect of some of the "secret" ingredients in bread are however well studied in animal tests.Digestive problems, failing to make use of certain basic amino acids, an affected central nervous system and even behaviour abnomalities have been observed.Of course we can't really compare a rat or pig on totally overdosed tests with what we eat on a daily base.But if certain enzymes and other ingredients in our frozen bread mixes and also dry mixes can do this then it is safe to asume that some sife effects from long term exposure will happen too.An enzyme that might just cause a less sticky dough might also affect meat.Another ingredient that should keep the dough firm enough for production machines could cause your stomach lining to produce far less liquids that help digestion.And other ingredients that might just try to produce a more uniform expansion of the dough might break down other food products in your intestines so the body can not convert them into as many other building blocks as before.Sure, we trust the claim that the baking will totall remove all traces of all the things that are not required to be listed.But lab test will show quite opposite, especially when it comes to soft, fluffy "bread" in sliced form.Bread is one of the basic food items everyone needs, so if being able to provide it at an "affordable" price is possible than not too many will actually check the product as a whole.Imagine you buy a premium looking steak and on the pack it states it was made with meat glue - another enzyme.You would not buy it...Thankfully most countries banned the use of meat glues after to many cases of related food poisoning happened.Should have been obvious that cut meat will have more bacteria and that gluing such pieces will result in bacteria to grow inside the meat at fast rates.So if you now wonder why such things are not fully regulated and checked ask yourself: why do you buy the cheap bread from your supermarket instead going to support your local baker?Money...Don't trust my words here!Grab a bread from your supermarket and some bread rolls, then do the same at a real bakery and compare the products.After that check for the best time and grab a few cold beer to have a nice chat about factory made bread products with the guy who kowns how to make it.You might be suprised what he will tell you ;)

Topic by Downunder35m   |  last reply


Funny Labels

These are hilarious!!! There all REAL funny product lables that people have found. Here's the link to where I got them: http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml Product Warnings: • "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet. • "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs. • "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. • "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron. • "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer. • "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer. • "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device. • "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. • "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan. • "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. • "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool. • "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant. • "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard. • "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn. • "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter. • "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image. • "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. • "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow. • "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater. • "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. • "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock." • "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box. • "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup. • "Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter." • "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee. • "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush. • "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. • "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old. • "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery. • "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion. • "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer. • "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. • "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod. • "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener. • "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener. • "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror. • "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski. • "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm. • "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty. • "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia. • "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone. • "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers. • "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink. • "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate. • "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant. • "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison. • "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757. • "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid. • "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller. • "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels. • "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck. • "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron. • "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine. • "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights. • "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume. • "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door. • "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. • "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets. • "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box. • "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box. • "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter. • "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy. • "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice. • "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. • "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan. • "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw. • "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer. • "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts. • "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing. • "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. • "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it." • "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds. • "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills. • "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle. • "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer. • "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. • "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame. • "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets. • "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack. • "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV. • "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack. • "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone. • "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch. • "Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions. See a scanned image. ________________________________________ Assurances: • "Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter. ________________________________________ Small Print From Commercials: • "Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store. • "Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean. • "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert. • "For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh. ________________________________________ Signs and Notices: • "No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere. • "Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950. • "These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church. • "All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire. • "Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine. • "Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic. • "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos. • "Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box. • "Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement. • "No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer. • "Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge. ________________________________________ Safety Procedures: • "Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building. • "In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp. ________________________________________ Ingredients: • "Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns. • "100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater. • "Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case. Materials: Covering: 100% Unknown. Stuffing: 100% Unknown." -- On a pillow. • "Cleans and refreshes without soap or water. Contains: Water, fragrance & soap." -- On the packet for a moist towelette. See a scanned image. ________________________________________ Instructions: • "Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch. • "Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills. • "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts. • "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11. • "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap. • "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper. • "Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner. • "Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits. • "In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual. • "Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill. • "The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position." -- Instructions for an espresso kettle. • "For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid." -- On a Domino's sandwich box. ________________________________________ Requirements: • "Optional modem required." -- On a computer software package.

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