GRAWWWWWWWWWWWWG Answered

I HATE my mouse. My old mouse, was a corded (w00t) serial mouse. I used it with my amazing 8 year old windows ME computer. I loved that hulking tower, it was beautiful in a slick, off white way (pics coming soon hopefully). Then, I got a new computer. It runs vista, and I used the mouse that came with it. Had a cord as well, but was USB- no serial ports on this sucker. It worked OK, until the scroll wheel broke. Then I stopped using it*. All the computer stores around only have the insane "ergonomic" mice with the 5 pound giant pink balls on the top (I have NO idea), so I couldn't get a new one. Luckily, I had an old travel mouse laying around. Wireless. Enter the world of computer He**. It eats 2 AAA's every 2 weeks, randomly stops working, jams up, skips around, and generally sucks. If I could, I would throw this pathetic excuse of an electronic human interaction device into my parts bin and mine it with a soldering iron until it dies, but its my only option. Please, what do I do?! Does anyone know a good (I'm not sure its serial actually, round plug, plugs into the the purple or green slot on old computers) converter to USB so I can use my old mouse? *Well, I, strictly hypothetically, may have cracked open the case and accidentally broken the click wheel sensor button. Purely hypothetical, of course.