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Is it right on her part? Answered

My gf is mad at me bcoz i wrote about our relationship in her testimonial even though she finds it interesting to discuss it over the phone. She actually called me a jerk. Was it right on her part?



9 years ago

Before publishing things about another person which they may consider private, it is ALWAYS a good idea to ask them if they mind having that info shared. That includes their relationships, their personal information (address, phone, and so on), their plans (near or short term), their past...

Discussing it with her, and discussing her with others, are very different things.

Especially on the Internet, where once something has been said it's probably going to be accessible in someone's archives for many years even if you erase your own copy.


9 years ago

Eh in her testimonial? Where was it written and who could read it?

There's a difference between a private, one on one discussion and what's directed at her but public.  It does depend a lot on what you wrote, also writing's a one sided thing at first, unlike a conversation, which changes the dynamic.

One thing that makes the difference is discretion, it's not that she may never talk about it but girls tend to be a bit more careful about doling out the ins and outs of their lives, especially that side of it.

A little more explanation would be good, it's all vague to me...

Oh and if it makes you feel better I've been called much worse things for much less. 


9 years ago

andy_cool = unkool.   

I agree with Steve.  What you did was show her the either you ARE a jerk and she can't trust you or you don't have a clue as to how a relationship works.  The way she feels now is that you can't keep a secrete.  Most of what happens in a relationship is private.  Because when it's revealed to everyone else it becomes common.

Since we don't know what you wrote about there is a slight chance that she is super private and she is over reacting.  But it's best if you don't bring that up.

What you should do now if you value the relationship is  to honestly apologize.  And then have an honest old fashion discussion about what to share and what to keep private.  Let her know that you shared the info because you wanted other people to know how you felt.  I assume that it was not something like how many times you did it last night or something like that.  If it was then there is no hope for you.

Ask her what her comfort level with sharing is and learn to stay at that level.  You can use this experience to grow.

Good luck.


9 years ago


I wanted to write an answer to but it would just be this one.

good luck man


9 years ago

Yes, some things are just meant to be kept private between the two of you. AIUI For a woman, discussing things like that in public is very unpleasant.