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Well this " I like x " thing became complicated Answered

TL;DR version at the bottom, below the line

Oh you know, just one of those " I like x " situations, except with a twist. So yeah, I like this girl, we talk for short the small short talk (lasts for about 0.8 seconds). She might know that I have a crush on her (since about 30% of the class knows, of which 80% are friends with this person), but I'm uncertain.

Either way, I'm not shy about that. The problem lies in the fact that the 24% of the class that's friends with her knows. Normally, they're always with / around her, which makes talking with her (in the first place) already challenging. Imagine maybe 4 people interrupting your conversation only 2 seconds in. It's like trying to play a video game with the worst ping ever; your talk getting interrupted and all. I would just like to have a chat with her that lasts over 15 seconds, at least, that doesn't involve official business (all talks with her so far involved school projects and such).

To my assessment, she's astoundingly similar yet the opposite of me... She's simple, yet highly organized (that's me). She doesn't wanna stand out (like me). Generally silent, shy and reserved (somewhat like me, most of the time anyways). Now here's the part I would like to relate to, but I don't know how: music. She plays the piano, and I play the violin. Now, these are performing arts; you perform these in front of people. We don't play the same instruments, therefore we can't talk about it. Composing a piece? Not a chance. That's my work mode wherein I become secluded from the world (bad impression).

Intention: I would just like to make friends, thank you very much (did it last year, too, though without the complications)
Age: 13 turning 14 (me) and she's 13
More details:
-I can control myself, thank you

Additionally: I don't know if she likes me or not. I just need to become friends with her to clear some things up and... make more friends? I'm not bringing my hopes up, though.

I have an opportunity to start off our friendship (which is due in less than a week), since we have this Christmas party going and we're supposed to have a gift exchange with a "randomly chosen" person which is done by just pulling out folded pieces of paper and.. yeah, there's the name. The wishlist is simple, yet a tad pricey (just roughly $10, but compared to my allowance).

This is getting too long

-How do I make friends now?
-How do I sustain this? I'm not good at making friends. I either attract them to me or it was a need that developed.
TL;DR version:

I like a girl and I want to make friends with her, but then I can't talk with her because of massive external social pressure from her ever-present friends that know I have a crush on her. How can I approach her and sustain our friendship? Thank you.



Best Answer 8 years ago

This is not the right site, it's full of mad-scientists, parents etc....

Anyway, you need to do something like pushing these people aside with an "excuse me", and then ask her... OK you'd have to think of something to say. But, if you can think of something good do that because it would be "dramatic" and get her attention.



Answer 8 years ago

Heh, haven't seen you around since the first half of 2011...

I believe changing your life is harder than trying to synthesize KNO3 from urine... Anyway, "dramatic" would imply a little bit more than what I want. Implication is always kinda tricky to insert when it comes to things like this.

Now that I think about it, it's a bit more sensitive than I originally thought...


Answer 8 years ago

Listen man, be yourself.
You'll have heard that before, it means-

  Make who you are to yourself, who people know you to be.

So if you want to make friends with her, you tell her that. What is wrong about saying that if that's what you want?

Dramatic is equivalent to being bold with confidence - women like that because they generally prefer to rely on a man for being capable of doing things....



8 years ago

1. For the gift, buy a piece of sheet music intended to be played as a duet between piano and violin.

2. At school, book some time in a music practise room.

3. Include in the gift a small card with the date and time of the rehearsal you have booked.

4. Use pauses in the rehearsal to get to know her properly.


8 years ago

Your very young to be making permanent emotional attachments -

I suggest you need to get the young lady away from the crowd. Invite her somewhere and be normal and cool. Don;;t try to rush things you have plenty of time.