I want to amuse my friends with funny jokes, do u hav any good ones?
9 years ago
your mama's so fat she has to use cheat codes for wii fit! =D
what side of a chicken has the most feathers the out side
what kind of fish has to knees a tuneefish but if you say it the right way its tunafish
10 years ago
Your mama's so poor she bounces food stamps.
11 years ago
According to Richard Wiseman's LaughLab experiment, which tried to find the world's funniest joke, the no. 1 best joke is:<br /> <br /> <table class="cquote" style="border-bottom-style: none;border-right-style: none;background-color: transparent;margin: auto;border-collapse: collapse;border-left-style: none;"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="text-align: left;padding-bottom: 10.0px;padding-left: 10.0px;padding-right: 10.0px;font-family: Times New Roman , serif;color: rgb(178,183,242);font-size: 35.0px;font-weight: bold;padding-top: 10.0px;" valign="top" width="20"> </td> <td style="padding-bottom: 4.0px;padding-left: 10.0px;padding-right: 10.0px;padding-top: 4.0px;" valign="top">"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?""<br /> <br /> </td> </tr> </tbody> </table>
11 years ago
It ehn't funneh when yer a hunter.
I think it's funny and I'm a hunter. ^A bargain hunter.^ No, really, I'm not any kind of hunter, though that might be different if I didn't live in suburbia. I don't think this joke targets hunters--it's not of the "how many hunters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" school. The hunters are just a vehicle to exploit the common human situation of a misunderstanding leading to disaster for the purposes of making a joke.
I was only feigning disdain, no worries. :-)
Whew... OK, good.
hahaha that is funy!!! thnx!
Glad ya liked it. :-)
what do you call a dog with no legs...(looking real sad)it don't matter ,he won't come anyway
Two hunters are in a cabin deep in the woods. At first light they are awoken by a grizzlie bear just out of hibernation mad as all heck and hasn't eaten all winter. He's hitting the door with all his weight and it's beginning to fail. On hunter calmly begins to put on his running shoes. The other hunter is bewildered. "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear." The other hunter says, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I've just got to outrun YOU".
You can change it to two environtalists or hippies out smokin dope or what ever sounds more acceptable to your audience.