5 Ways Tea Could Help You Survive a Zombie Outbreak

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Introduction: 5 Ways Tea Could Help You Survive a Zombie Outbreak

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Shotgun..Check
Machete...Check
Armoured Personnel Carrier...Check

20 bags of tea...What?

When people think of "Zombie Outbreak" they never think to bring along some tea bags, yet tea can come in very useful when the undead break out of hell to ravage the land until we are all dead.

Here are 5 ways tea can help you survive the next zombie outbreak.

Step 1: Soothe Tired Eyes

After staying up all night fighting zombies you'll need to freshen up your eyes. Put a wet tea bag on each eye for 20 minutes to freshen them up!

Step 2: Stop Bleeding Gums

Did that zombie punch you in the teeth again? If your gums are bleeding, you can press a tea bag onto the bleeding area to stop the bleeding and keep killing zombies.

Step 3: Stop Foot Odor

After the zombies take over, you'll be lucky to have one pair of shoes. Everyday to prevent foot rot, you should soak your feet everyday in a tea bath to keep the healthy and fresh!

Step 4: Soothe Injection Points

You may need some inoculations after the apocalypse, if your shot area hurts too much hold a tea bag there for 20 minutes to soothe the area.

Step 5: Reduce Razor Burn

Supplies will be thin after the zombie apocalyspe. if you decide to shave, razor burn is inevitable. Help cool down razor burn with a wet tea bag on the affected areas.


Good luck when the zombies take over, and remember to grab a carton of tea while you run for you life.

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    116 Discussions

    My plan for the zombie apocalypse? Hopefully it happens after I build my house. I'd be golden. 100% self sustainable house including food since it's got an indoor as well as outdoor garden, thermal heating/cooling and rainwater collection & treatment, solar and wind power. Seeing as it's gonna be in the middle of nowhere, I don't think we'll be getting many visitors anyway, but in the event of the apocalypse i'd probably install a high-voltage electric fence lol

    I now have a mental picture of zombies shambling after people on Rodeo Drive then suddenly stopping and thinking "OH! Those Loubotins are TO DIE FOR!"

    Used and dried out tea bags make great fire starters - just want to keep an eye out for the cops though because it smells very much like weed when it is burnt - yes stoner type weed, not your ordinary garden variety weeds. (14 year olds take note Cops DONOT have a sense of humour no matter where you live).

    About 30 years ago I used to freak out my nosey neighbours by burning a couple every saturday night on a wood fired BBQ.

    Had them utterly convinced I was some sort of drug fiend. :D

    I'm Australian and yes we do stuff like this all the time because we are born to take the pizz out of anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat.

    1 reply

    what about flares? if you take a stapled tea bag, by removing the staple and standing it up, you then light it at the top and you get a nice flare

    I'd rather sit comfortably in my (zombie proof) ivory tower, sipping lapsang-souchong from a china cup and observe the carnage proceding below.
    Much more civilised.

    2 replies

    ... Are your gums bloody from flossing? haha :-)

    HA! I'm going to Bass Pro Shops!! Guns, food. And grills and propane so if I run out of food there's always the fish tank :D Who's with me?

    7 replies

    You, sire, have given me my newest idea for a zombie holdout. Only issue is those pesky display windows...

    Very true...but I'm sure we could cover them up somehow. Perhaps some paint? But there are also bows and arrows and other kinds of ammo. Plus the shooting range could be another good hideout.

    Sadly, there isn't a shooting range up here in Alberta =/ The Bass Pro Shop here is attached to the Cross Iron Mills Mall, so I'm sure that I could get my hands on some supplies to block the windows and the door that accesses the rest of the mall...


    Have you not seen "Dawn of the Dead"?  The mall is the last place you want to be...LOL!!!

    Actually the BPS in Ab would be a cool place to hole up...as long as them stuffed moose don't get reanimated!!!  Those are big SOBs!!

    LMAOROTF talk about testing the stopping power of the gun in the case

    No, a mall can be good, provided you do it right

    For example, although there ARE plenty of display windows (bad), there is a second story with railings. Remove railings in key areas, destroy all stair cases, make a rope ladder, and tada! Protection from zombies PLUS easy to grab weapons!

    Very true, Shadowater. So, who wants to migrate with me to the nearest BPS? We have deer jerky!! *licks lips*