At one of the many kitsch clothing stores that seem to be popping up all over the place these days, and they had a "moustache" that you attached on your bike's handlebars. However, I started seeing problems with it immediately. For one thing, it was rather grotesque, and hairy, and would surely become a giant hairball if you biked in the rain, or even in traffic after a rainy day. And, it just didn't have that nice, clean, moustache-y shape.

So, from my refusal to spend 20 dollars, and a belief in my ability to do it better, comes this Bike Moustache.

Step 1: Step 1

Te moustache I made was based off of cardboard, based off of how available it was for me. That said, one of my major problems with the store's moustache was the fact that it would be wrecked by rain, so I tried my best to make mine waterproof, so multiple layers of paint are a must. I used a dark grey primer, and gloss black paint. I have a gloss cover, but since my paint layer wasn't matte, I decided not to use it.

To fasten the moustache to the bike's handlebars, I used Velcro straps, though any household item could work. I decided against using Magnets, just on a basis of stability.

Step 2: Cutting

Trace a moustache shape onto a piece of paper, and if you're like me and cannot draw a shape symmetrically, cut out half of it and trace it onto cardboard, flip it over and repeat, and cut it out.

Step 3: Painting

Use a dark primer, especially if you use black paint, to bring out the color in full depth. Spray it on in thin layers, and get the sides of the cardboard to make sure it is as waterproof as possible. Luckily, I used paint that dries in ten minutes, so I could get both sides thoroughly in under an hour.

Lesson: At some point, I forgot to sand in between layers of paint, or did not wait long enough, but the first time I painted, I checked on it and it was filled with bubbles and horrible and ugly, and I had to peel the paint off. So make sure you sand between layers. (Picture 2)

Lesson 2: While putting on the primer, I neglected to shake the can enough, so the paint came out in a powder rather than a mist. So, while the can of paint may tell you to shake it for an obscene amount of time, do it. (Picture 3)

Spray on the top coat, I used Black, though any color you can think of would work I suppose. I wanted a gloss, so I used gloss paint, but if that was not an option, I would have used matte paint and a gloss coat.

Bonus! The newspapers that you laid down before painting are now art!

Step 4: Straps

Punch a hole through the straps with a nail, ideally at the same height on the straps, and place them in the main body oh the moustache, where it's near its thickest, at least an inch or two apart to accommodate for the stem, I chose attach them about four inches apart.

Find the tiniest screws you can, and carefully screw the straps to the back of the moustache, making sure that they don't poke through the front. Mine had a bump where the screws were, but no exit puncture. After that, cut the straps to three and a half or four inches long, so it looks pretty when you wrap it around your handlebars.

Then, just wrap the straps around your handlebars, and you're done!

Step 5: Final Notes

I'm pretty happy with the end result. As long as you tighten the straps enough, the stem should keep the moustache vertical, and looking snazzy. Now go cruise the streets in all your hipness, and take astoundingly hip pictures like the one below, all while knowing that your mustachioed bike looks good.