Intro: Brawndo: the Thirst Mutilator CupCan!
Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator!
HEY! Do you think you're ready for BRAWNDO? Well you're wrong, NOBODY'S ready for BRAWNDO, because drinking Brawndo is like eating a steak while it's still attached to the cow! Only this cow's actually one P.O.'d MINOTAUR and come to think of it that's kind of like CANNABILISM but that's okay because DRINKING BRAWNDO WILL MAKE YOU SUPERHUMAN and YOU WON'T EVEN BE THE SAME SPECIES AS NORMAL MEN!
But what happens when you RUN OUT OF BRAWNDO!? Well if you're man enough to drink Brawndo, chances are you won't go crying to mommy. More likely you'll start PUNCHING things until you FIND MORE BRAWNDO but what if you've punched everything you own and everyone you've ever loved and you still don't have any Brawndo!?
Well then it's time to GET CREATIVE and turn one of the thousands of empty Brawndo cans you are surrounded by into a CupCan! Drinking something other than Brawndo out of a Brawndo can is like a giving VICODIN to a HEROINE addict, but it just might be enough to stop the BRAWNDO WITHDRAWAL SHAKES for a while!
Step 1: GET SOME STUFF!
Got a Brawndo can!? OF COURSE YOU DO, but if you lost them all or GOT HUNGRY AND ATE THEM, you can get more Brawndo or find out where it's sold on THIS WEBSITE!
Also you need some SUGRU which you can get from THIS OTHER WEBSITE! Working with sugru is like drinking Brawndo, only it's a soft space-age polymer that cures into a flexible silicone rubber and you're not supposed to eat it, and if you did it PROBABLY wouldn't taste like Jack Kennedy and Marylin Monroe playing STRIP TWISTER on your taste buds which is what Brawndo tastes like because Brawndo is AWESOME and full of ELECTROLYTES, which has nothing to do with dead presidents and their mistresses and thekinds of games they like to play, but THAT DOESN'T MATTER and I think YOU GET THE POINT!!!
You're going to need some TOOLS like a CAN OPENER and a DREMEL TOOL and mabye some PLIERS and if you don't have any of those things you're TOTALLY SCREWED and probably shouldn't be on this website! You should also have GLOVES and EAR AND EYE PROTECTION because Brawndo makes you FEEL invincible but YOU AREN'T!
Step 2: Start CUTTING the CAN!
ONLY CUT THE BRAWNDO CAN!! Since you've been DRINKING BRAWNDO your instincts will probably tell you to use the can opener to open cans of CHILI and BACON or possibly the top of your neighbor's car but don't do that! Only cut off the top of the EMPTY BRAWNDO CAN!
Once the top is off, be VERY CAREFUL about the top of the can because it's SHARP and could cut you and you already know exactly what that would be like because drinking brawndo is like BRUSHING YOUR TEETH with a ripped up aluminum can! Use the DREMEL TOOL to clean up the edge and open the can up as wide as you want it!
Step 3: Cover the Lip of the Can!
Now it's time to cover up all that sharp metal! Once your CupCan is done you'll be ready to EAT NAILS and CRAP WROUGHT IRON FENCES but for now there's no sense in slicing your lips up and getting blood in your Brawndo!
Open up the sugru and roll it out into a LONG THIN TUBE. Wrap that up into a RING and PUT IT ON THE LIP OF THE CAN! Smooth it down and let it cure overnight! Once that's done you're ready to start DRINKING out of your BRAWNDO CUPCAN and WATCHING THE WORLD TREMBLE IN FEAR BEFORE YOU!
Step 4: Final Thoughts and More Exclamation Points!!!
You're WELCOME for me MAKING THIS INSTRUCTABLE! If you make your OWN CupCan, post a picture in the comments and I'LL SEND YOU A DIGITAL PATCH!!!
Make sure you RATE and COMMENT and SUBSCRIBE to me, because listening to what I have to say and doing what I tell you feels exactly like drinking Brawndo!