Cheese on Sprouts on Toast

Introduction: Cheese on Sprouts on Toast

About: Ugly pirate roaming the seas in search of Treasure.

Every year at around the 25th of December in the UK, millions of poor unfortunate sprouts find themselves shoved into the back of many thousands of already over stuffed fridges probably to be forgotten in favour of left over turkey or small sausages wrapped in bacon.

Sprouts are always controversial, but they also have feelings and do not appreciate being thoughtlessly abandoned. They also have a somewhat bad reputation in some quarters, often as a result of being massively over cooked by the chef, doomed to taint the palette of the young for the rest of their lives or because they can cause flatulence when eaten in large quantities.

Today, I am indeed the saviour of the lowly sprout and will elevate it's status to the realm of the Gods by firstly, cooking them properly and then serving them up on toast with a perfect coating of molten cheese. This recipe will convert even the most ardent sprout hater into somebody who loves them so much that they will eat them every day in huge quantities for at least 6 weeks.

Step 1: Ingredients

  • Bread
  • Freshly harvested home grown Brussels sprouts (or left over sprouts)
  • Mature cheddar cheese
  • Black lumpfish caviar

Step 2: Toast

Put a piece of bread in the toaster and half toast it. The rest of the toasting will be done under the grill. If we fully cook the toast at this stage, the corners go black and burnt under the grill and ruin the whole dish.

Step 3: Steam the Sprouts

Pull the sprouts off the stems - no knife required - it's really easy. Trim off any dead or yellow leaves and put them whole in the steamer. Once the water in the bottom is boiling, steam for exactly 20 minutes, checking after 15 minutes to see if they are cooked or not. Now remove the sprouts from the water pan and allow to cool and drain for about 10 minutes. Left over refrigerated sprouts from the previous day will also be fine.

Step 4: Squash the Sprouts

Using the back of a fork, squash the sprouts down to form a kind of cake. Failure to perform this step will result in your cheese running off the sprouts into the valleys between them. In perfecting this recipe, I did originally make this mistake myself. Please believe me when I say I have thought about this recipe very carefully and consumed a huge amount of sprouts during the lengthy period of trials.

Step 5: Sprouts on Toast

With the toast on a clean baking tray, carefully position the sprouts so that there are no gaps between them for the cheese to fall into.

Step 6: Cheese on Sprouts

Cut some slices of cheese and lay them over the sprouts.

Step 7: Grill the Cheese on Sprouts

The cheese should be grilled to the very point of destruction as this is when it tastes the nicest. Timing is everything.

Step 8: Perfect Grilled Result

The cheese should be running off the sprouts and also off the toast very slightly. It should be dark brown in colour, but with no signs of blackness.

Step 9: Add Caviar

For a touch of class, add some cold caviar and serve it up straight away to your eagerly awaiting friends. This is not just for show as the fishy taste actually works really well with the cheese and sprouts.

Very hot chilli sauce or chilli powder also works really well instead of caviar.



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    11 Discussions

    I think this is incorrectly filed under vegetarian and vegan :/ but it does look interesting (minus the cavier and subbing in vegan cheese). Thanks for the idea - love sprouts!

    2 replies

    Believe it or not, but since I skipped eating meat & I banned lactose from my diet sprouts are more then ever my favorite animals. I love winter because sprouts 'spruitjes, we say' live only in winter. I love spruitjes because they give me the perfect excuse to cook with brown beer and I love them because thanx to them I can compete as a boss with our dogs. In some kind of volatile contest.

    Great job to put those magic balls in the spotlight!

    5 replies

    Thanks Bart! I am so jealous that you have a dog that farts. My dog is such a complete princess that she won't walk in the mud, she never farts and does not eat sprouts either. However, you have inspired me to organise a farting contest for my friends coming here for a New Year's Eve party this evening. There will be plenty of sprouts as fuel.

    You'd better start eating them from right now, since there's a significant time-lapse between intake & take-off. And, better eat such a sprouty toast every hour than a whole bucket at once. These are golden tips my friend, you won't need firecrackers this evening!

    Stay away from candles, though. Sprouted methane is highly inflammable...

    How many beers were needed to use this machine?!

    And, honestly, how many more to invent it actually?!

    Must be one of the most hilarious inventions ever!

    No no no! The machine was only TESTED with cheese. Admittedly , we were all rather intoxicated (except for the dogs), but the machine actually has a useful function in the sober world of beekeeping .

    This looks sooo good! I had some awesome roasted sprouts on Christmas Eve and I've had sprouts on the brain ever since. May have to try this one. Thanks for sharing!

    This sounds rather delicious and I totally agree about grilling to the brink of destruction - I grill mackerel on toast that way. This probably would go pretty well with a dash of Lea & Perrins Special Edition instead of the caviar too.