Chocolate Temptress Porter Muffins




So these muffins are the best thing I have ever made and the best thing I have ever tasted. The term “food porn” was invented to describe muffins like these. These babies have that beautiful complexity of flavours you find in the best homemade mud cakes with notes of caramel, coffee and vanilla complimenting the chocolate; yet unlike a mud cake these darlings are airy and tender thanks to the beer.

As an added bonus they are a super easy one bowl wonder!

I don’t think I’m in love. I know I am.

Step 1: Ingredients + Pre-Heating Your Oven


  • 1 1/3 cups plain flour
  • 2/3 cups cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon bicarbonate soda
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 125g butter, softened
  • 1 cup Holgate Brewhouse Temptress (it’s a chocolate porter)


  • 1/2 cup cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup butter, softened
  • 4 tbsp Holgate Brewhouse Temptress (it’s a chocolate porter)
  • 1 1/2 cup icing sugar
  • 2 tbsp cocoa


  • 50-100g dark chocolate (I used 85% percent cocoa)

Before you begin: put your oven racks are in the middle, pre-heat your oven 180 degrees Celcius (160 degrees Celcius for fan forced ovens) and line your muffin tray.

Please note that as this was a test batch the pictures show only half a dozen muffins, but the recipe amounts are for a dozen of them.

Step 2: Mix

Combine the dry ingredients (plain flour, bicarbonate soda, cocoa powder and sugar) in a bowl. If you're mixing with electric beaters then don’t worry about sifting the lumps out of the cocoa powder; however if you're mixing by hand don’t forget to sift out the lumps.

Now add the wet ingredients (beer, butter and eggs) to the bowl and give the lot a quick stir with a spoon to combine so that you don’t end up with flour everywhere when you turn on the electric mixer. Beat the mixture with electric mixers for a couple of minutes. The mix will become lighter colour and grow in volume.

My pictures show the dry and the wet ingredients being mixed in separate bowls then added together, but this isn't actually necessary with this recipe and just gives you more dishes to wash in the end.

Once you’ve mixed the batter up restrain yourself. The raw batter also tastes amazing. This batch only made the oven because I was making this Instructible.

Step 3: Bake

Spoon the mixture into your muffin tray and bake in the oven for 25 minutes until they’re done.

If you’re unsure whether they’re cooked use a skewer (or knife in a pinch) to check. Stab it (gently) into the centre of a cupcake in the middle of the tray; if it comes out gooey them put the muffins back in for 5 minutes before checking again. If it comes out clean or with solid crumbs stuck to your stabbing implement then they're good.

Step 4: Icing

Put all the icing ingredients into a bowl and stir with a spoon to combine, then beat with electric beaters until smooth and a light chocolate-y brown. Once it gets to the lighter colour then stop beating as you can cause the butter to separate – it will still taste fine, it just looks dodgy. It only takes about 30 seconds for the colour to lighten.

Step 5: Finishing

Scoop up a bit of the icing with the back of the spoon and plop it in the middle off a muffin. Smooth it down with the back of the spoon if you feel like it. Personally I like as a big dollop. Then shatter some chocolate by banging it with something’s handle (I used a pair of scissors) and sprinkle the bits on top of the icing.

Now you can stop restraining yourself and dig in!

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    7 Discussions


    4 years ago on Introduction

    Never heard about food porn, but I knew I knew it when I saw it. It will be heard to get these out of my mind...

    1 reply

    4 years ago

    Thank you! Made these. They're incredibly light (though not the icing/frosting, of course), totally delicious and completely moreish. Beer, icing sugar and cream cheese mixed together? You're some kind of crazy genius.

    1 reply

    4 years ago

    ohhhhhhhh yummy


    Reply 4 years ago on Introduction

    Thanks! They seem to be getting deadlier with time. On the second day the muffins are still moist and delicious, but the icing has matured or evolved or something - it's about twice as good as it was yesterday.