In this instructable I will go into great detail describing how you can create a political advertisement similar to the one shown here in order to appease the Great Old One Cthulhu. Also, I find it strange that the spell check feature on this instructable website recognizes Cthulhu but doesn't recognize the word instructable.
Step 1: Collecting Materials to Appease the Great Old One.
The first step in any project, especially one that will attempt to appease an ancient evil God, is collecting the proper materials. So for this project you will need the following:
- A Political Sign: These are usually everywhere around October where I live. For mine, I "found" a sign that was placed in an area where signs are not supposed to be. I suppose you could also buy one online but, I didn't go that route because I figure the safe way would be frowned upon by Cthulhu.
- A can of spray paint similar to the color of the background of the letters you will be spray painting over.
- A roll of painter's tape.
- A white sharpie marker (I used the oil based kind)
- A pencil and sharpener
- A can of clear sealant
Total cost: Under 20 dollars unless you buy the sign in which case, no clue.
Step 2: Taping Off and Spray Painting the Sign
As you can see in this picture I have taped off every inch of the sign that I don't want to be covered in spray paint. For my sign I taped off the front and the back since the name was on both sides but if you are feeling lazy, you could probably get away with just taping off the front.
If your sign has any curved areas, or if you just want to make a curve, use a bunch of separate 2 to 3 inch pieces of tape. You'll see that while you're placing the tape down you can curve it ever so slightly. Also make sure that every piece is pressed down tight so that no paint leaks down. Because if there is one thing Cthulhu despises, it is messy paintwork.
Once everything is taped off, hang the sign somewhere, open up your can of appropriately colored spray paint and paint it. Make sure to use a bunch of light blasts from at least ten inches away. The first coat more than likely will not cover the white letters. This is to be expected. I think I gave mine three coats on each side before I was satisfied that nothing would show through and waited probably an hour between each coat.
Step 3: Measure Measure Measure
Once the paint has dried you are ready to draw in the letters. Note: In the picture you should notice that in addition to the masking painters tape, I also add blue painter's tape in straight lines so I knew how big to make the letters. You should see that there are two stripes of tape at the top, and one at the bottom. This is because at first I was going to make the letters slightly larger but then after tracing out the letters with my finger on the sign I realized they would not fit.
The last thing you want is to start drawing letters on your sign and get to the right edge and realize that you have successfully spelled out CTHUL. Nobody cares about CTHUL, they want CTHULHU. And for you mistake there is an 87% chance that you will immediately be vanquished by the Great Old One in an unspeakable way.
On my sign, once I figured out what size I wanted for the letters, I then lightly drew the outline of each letter on the sign with a pencil. Now, if you do mess up, no big deal because hopefully you have left the painter's tape on the sign still and if the letters don't fit or don't look like they would please Cthulhu, you can just spray paint over them and try again in an hour.
You also could use a stencil but, I really feel that there aren't any Cthulhuesque stencils out there that would properly convey the right amount of tentacle terror. Either way though, once your outline is ready to go, simply trace over the lines with your white sharpie marker as shown in the picture above.
Step 4: Fill in the Outline.
Once you have created an outline, give yourself a pat on the back because the hard part is done and you are in the home stretch. Now all you need to do is fill in the letters with the white sharpie. This step took longer than I thought it would because the blue paint required several layers of white sharpie in order for the color to actually appear white instead of a faded blue. Additionally, multiple layers with the sharpie would sometimes scratch off the previous layer.
But, eventually slow and steady wins the race unless you are running a real race in which case slow and steady results in you being in last place and laughed at by everyone. However, in the case of this sign, patience does pay off and by the third layer you should almost be finished.
The last step once the sharpie looks good and is dry is to apply one or two coats of clear coat spray so that your sprinklers won't wash away all your hard work. I think for my sign I waited approximately 30 minutes between each spray.
Step 5: Admire Your Work
You've done it. You've created an homage to the Great Old One Cthulhu and can now sit back and relax while your neighbors walk by and wonder, "What in the hell is a Cthulhu?"
Final Thoughts: On the bottom of my sign there was a little blurb that said: Paid for by the friends of Blah Blah Committee # Blah blah. I covered that up with a red sharpie and thought about writing "Paid for by the friends of the Great Old One" but the white sharpie markers I had wouldn't allow enough detail for that. I suppose I could have driven to Walmart and bought a fine tip white sharpie but figured what's the worst that cou....jhf;..,.a.fkfjkk;;'
Oh God no...
I didn't mean it like that!
I 'm sorry I argghhjhhjhghgjhgjhgggggjgghj...........................................
Participated in the
Halloween Decor Contest