A few years ago I created a paddle so that when I hit someone with it, my name was branded on their skin temporarily. On the back side of the paddle I put a skull and cross bones. When I saw Skull-A-Day.com I knew I had to send in a picture of the paddle. People seemed to really enjoy it and I got a few emails asking me how I made it, so I decided, since I had a left over paddle (they come in sets of two) I decided I would make an Instructable so I could teach everyone how to make their own custom butt spanking machine.
For more degenerate fun, check me out over at drivenbyboredom.com.
Step 1: Print Your Design
First you have to pick out a design and then print it so it fits on the paddle. I chose the Apple logo and the Power button logo because we are all geeks here and I felt it would be very appropriate.
If you want to use mine I have made them available here:
Some tips to consider:
- I learned with the first paddle I did that the smaller your make the image the better because I kept getting only half my name to stay in the skin. I would not make any image bigger than 3"x3"
- Everything comes out slightly smaller than you think. In my design I made the stem on the Apple bigger than it should be and I cut on the outside of the line.
- Make sure you print your logo BACKWARDS. As you can see from my Apple paddle, I forgot this important step so the brand is reversed. If you use my Apple, I flipped it already in the downloadable file above.
Step 2: Attach the Image, Start Cutting.
Cut it out. Tape it on. Grab a box cutter and start cutting.
The first attempt with the Apple, I took push pin and pushed it in the paddle around the outline. That didn't work as well as on the back when I just started cutting with the paper taped on.
I would just tape it on, and start cutting. Cut down into the wood, but you don't have to go deep or anything. Just press it until it hits wood.
Once you have cut around it, peel up the top layer. It should peel off pretty easily. You should be left with foam stuff underneath.
Step 3: Get Rid of the Foam
There is this foam padding between the outer layer of the paddle, and the wood. It is a pain to get off. In fact this is the only hard part of the whole project. It is slightly time consuming and messy. It took about 15 minutes to do each side.
I recommend NOT doing it on your bed like I did as it makes a mess.
I scored down the center horizontally and vertically on the Apple, that seemed to help. The power button side came up easier, probably because the shapes were smaller. The Apple stem was pretty easy too.
Since you guys are fans of this site, you are probably far craftier than I am and have sand paper laying around. That would help getting the last little bits off.
Step 4: Hit Someone With It!
Now here is the fun part! Find someone to hit with it. You can either use it in the bed room in private with your special friend... or you can bring it to a party and hit everyone with it. Maybe my friends are just degenerates, but everyone seems to want to get branded.
You have to do it hard, but hit flat and you will get the best results. It takes some skill to get it to look really good, but there is nothing funnier than seeing someone with the Apple Logo branded to their butt!
And yes... I did let them hit me with it after I hit them. It wouldn't be fair otherwise... Don't worry, you don't have to see those pictures.