Use bleach to turn your clothing from drab into grab!
Step 1: Intro
This project will show you how to use bleach to make pretty pretty things in dark cotton shirts
Step 2: The Problem
Shirtlessness got ya down? Can't seem to get into that restaurant or store? No sweat. Just grab yourself a dark cotton shirt, a bamboo skewer, and a couple ounces of the wonder liquid bleach, and you'll be a legitimate consumer in no time! Stores will accept you, and restaurants will enthusiastically allow you to give them money!
Step 3: Additional Resources
You'll also want a good playlist to listen to. This will ease the tedium and take your mind off the noxious bleach fumes. This one worked for me:
Elliott Smith - Amity
Kings Of Convenience - I'd Rather Dance With You
Architecture in Helsinki - Maybe You Can Owe Me
The Magnetic Fields - Tokyo A-Go-Go
Of Montreal - The Party's Crashing Us
Dismemberment Plan - Time Bomb
Interpol - evil
The 6ths - Pillow Fight (feat. Mitch Easter)
Belle & Sebastian - to be myself completely
Architecture in Helsinki - Need to Shout
The Killers - Jenny Was a Friend of Mine
The 6ths - Puerto Rico Way
Guided By Voices - I Am A Tree
The 6ths - San Diego Zoo (feat. Barbara Manning)
The Magnetic Fields - When You Were My Baby
Dresden Dolls are also really good for this kind of thing
Step 4: Doin the Doo
First, put some wax paper or cardboard inside the shirt, to keep the bleach from soaking though to the other side
Step 5: More Doo
Now, lay thy shirt flat on thy most convenient of tables. Pour thy bleach into thy favorite disposable cup. Briefly dip the pointy end of the skewer into the bleach (it's ok, even preferable, if you don't see any large droplets on the end. The bleach is there, my son. You must believe!)
Now, start drawing on the shirt with the skewer. It will change color a few seconds after you draw on it. You'll want to re-dip the skewer in the bleach every so often. Most cotton shirts seem to turn an intermediate color before turning to white. Black dyes turn orange first, Blues turn yellowish. The shirt will turn to the intermediate color very quickly, and it will take 5 or 10 minutes for it to completely turn white.
Anyway, draw what you want to draw. You can also take common household objects and trace them, with wonderful results. (Pictures at the end)
Step 6: Waiting
Now that you're done making your design, sit back and admire it, touch up any bits that need touching, and wait about 10 minutes until the bleached bits turn entirely white.
Step 7: Rinse Off
Now, take the shirt, and rinse it off with copious amounts of warm water. This will stop the bleach from doing its thing, and prevent any unsightly blotches on you or the shirt. Rinse the shirt, then turn it inside out and rinse it some more. You'll want the water to be as hot as possible, since that will make the next step much more pleasant.
Step 8: Take the Plunge
In this step, you will confront the world's growing energy crisis by using your body heat to dry the shirt. Plant a brave grimace on your face, and draw the (hopefully still warm) wet fabric over your head. It'll dry in about 10 minutes if you go outside into the sun.
Step 9: Geeky Step(optional)
Go online and buy the domain for whatever clever phrase you just wrote on your shirt.
If you do this, you are truly socially inept, the holy grail for all geeks.
Step 10: Play With It!
Make some more patterns. Try tracing things out. Make elegant (and classy!) built-in pearl necklaces on your formal shirts. Trace Buzzsaws, spritzbottles, knives, leaves, flowers--everything looks cool!
I apologize(albiet insincerely) for the mediocre picture quality. Better pictures come when better camera comes!