Haunting is an exhausting past time, what with manifesting, possessions, and general spirit mayhem, so why not reward your favorite phantom with a hot meal?
Step 1: To Make Ghoul-ash You Will Need the Following Ingredients:
- 1 ½ lbs fillet of beef
- 2 Tablespoons of butter, divided
- 2 Tablespoons of olive oil, divided
- 1 Tablespoon diced garlic
- ½ Cup red onion, diced
- 2 Cups white mushrooms, divided and washed
- ¼ Teaspoon ground nutmeg
- ½ Teaspoon chopped basil
- 4 Cups fresh spinach
- 4 Cups uncooked egg noodles
- ½ Cup white wine
- 1 Cup sour cream
- Salt and Pepper to taste
- 2 Tablespoon black food coloring
Step 2: Sautee and Sautee Some More...
Start by first putting your noodles into a pot of boiling water with your black food coloring, 1 Tablespoon of olive oil and a pinch of salt. Allow to cook until tender.
Pound your beef flat and cut it into cubes roughly ½ inch square. Sautee your beef cubes in a frying pan with 1 Tablespoon of your butter, the garlic, and a few pinches of salt.
When the cubes are browned, add in your diced onions and allow them to cook until translucent, about 5 minutes.
Remove the beef and onions from the heat using a slotted spoon, making sure the butter and liquid from your beef and onions is still in the bottom of your pan.
Divide your mushrooms in half. Take half of your mushrooms and slice one cup into thin slices. Add the sliced mushrooms to your beef and onion pan and sautee until golden.
Step 3: Making Your Death Cap Mushrooms
While your sliced mushrooms are cooking, it’s time to carve your whole mushrooms into death caps.
(Side Note: Yes, you could use REAL death cap mushrooms, but then you’d die, but it would be before your time and a violation of our current “On Time Human Termination Policy” which means lots of paperwork for me and probably some explanations to the poor pencil pushing schlubs that run the Souls Intake Department, so do me a favor and let’s stick with the non-toxic kind for this version, okay?)
Using a small straw, poke two holes into the fronts of your whole mushroom caps and rotate to create eye holes. A sharp knife and a well place triangle creates the nose. To do the teeth, take the tines of a fork and run them down the stem of your mushroom. Congratulations, you now have imitation death cap mushrooms…guaranteed to look deadly without actually being deadly.
Pop your whole mushrooms into a pot of lightly salted boiling water and allow them to boil while you complete the rest of the recipe.
By now your sliced mushrooms should be cooked. Add your beef and onions back to the pan and mix all together.
Add in your nutmeg, basil, and white wine and allow to simmer (but not boil) for about 5 minutes.
Your noodles should be done by now. Drain them and toss with 1 Tablespoon of butter and set aside.
Toss your spinach into the same pot you used to cook your pasta, add in 1 Tablespoon of olive oil and a pinch of salt, and over medium heat, flash wilt it until it’s reduced in size by about half but not completely cooked down.
Take your wilted spinach and place it down on your serving platter and/or plate. Layer your now black buttered noodles on top of your spinach.
Add your cup of sour cream to your beef and stir to coat evenly. Gently spoon your sauced beef, onions, and sliced mushrooms over your bed of noodles and lettuce.
Step 5: It's Disgustingly Delicious!
Using tongs, carefully arrange your death cap mushrooms around the serving platter or your plate.
Serve with hot, buttered slices of Black Like My Soul bread and enjoy! This dish can be shared with your victim's friends or whipped up on a cold stormy night when you want something warm in your tummy.
Enjoy, and as always…
For even more ghoulishly ghastly recipes, check out the rest of my Instructables or go to my blog, The Necro Nom-Nom-Nomicon.