Global Warming: Solved



We have heard the cries ad nausium.  In the 1970s it was the warning of a "coming ice age."  When that didn't work out, it was replaced with "global warming."  Now, in what can only be describbed as an attempt to straddle the fence, "global warming" has morphed into "climate change."  Personally, I don't see what all the fuss is about.  Let me explain.

I have two vehicles: a Honda SUV and a Dodge 2500 diesel pick-up truck.  Between them, I have about 650 horsepower (HP) sitting in my driveway.  My neighbor has three vehicles with a combined HP of 575 HP.  Another neighbor has a single vehicle with 150 HP.  Combined, we have about 1375 HP, or a household average of about 450 HP. 

Stick with me here; the math won't hurt too much. 

According to the 2010 US Census data, there are 131.7 million households in the US.  If we extrapolate out the data, then we can determine that there is approximately 59,000 million HP (or 59 trillion HP) sitting around in the driveways of US citizens.  What if we could take all of that power, focus it, and bring about a positive change in the climate?

Ladies and Gentlemen, start your engines, because now, we can!

When I sit in the driver's seat of my four wheeled chariot, I notice two things relevant to our discussion.  First, the soft, hand-stitched top grain leather feels really good against my body.  Okay, that wasn't really relevant to the discussion, but I wanted to mention it simply because I had a captive audience.  The thing that is actually relevant is that there is a climate control panel not more than two feet from me.  It's true!  Wonder of wonders, vehicle manufacturers have actually seen fit to provide their customers with the power to control the climate right from the comfort of their form fitting, butt hugging, arm rest sporting, leather chair of awesomeness known as the driver's seat!  God bless America (and to a greater extent our friends from Japan ).

But, alas!  If you are like me (and really, no one is), you have scorned the full potential of this awesome power your entire life and have settled for exercising only a tiny fraction of the power given to you, limiting your climate control prowess to the confines of your vehicle.  Oh, what a slothful, underachieving nation we have become.  Shame on us all!

But redemption is neigh, for together, we have the power to demonstrate to the world of what we are truly made.  Together, we can unite world opinion in one accord and all will know, once and for all time, the values we cherish and the strength of our ideas.

And now, the really awesome part! 

This plan is to be implemented at precisely 12:00 noon, Eastern Standard Time on Monday, April 22, 2013 (appropriately known as Earth Day).

It is estimated that 80% of all vehicles sold in the US are equipped with air conditioning, and by definition, the power to control the climate.  That is more than 47 trillion HP of climate controlling power sitting in the driveways of Americans across this (once?) great country.

At the appointed time, all air conditioning equipped vehicle owners are to start their vehicle engines and roll down, I mean push the down button on the window controller, -no, roll down works better- roll down their windows.  Next, set the temperature knob to "MAX COOL" and the blower fan to "high"; this will allow your climate controlling wonder of modern science and manufacturing to begin its marvelous works beyond the artificial, self-imposed boundary that is your car's interior wall.  Combined with the other 250,272,811 vehicles in the US, the overall affect should be almost instantaneously manifest.

When I did a test run of this concept, I decrease the air temperature by 30 degrees F in only three minutes.  At this rate, we could plunge the Earth into a permanent ice age in a matter of minutes.  Oh, the POWER!!! 

And finally, for the efforts of myself and my countrymen, I say to the rest of the world, "You're welcome".

I can almost feel the collective chill already.  Somebody get me a blanket.  Stay cool, Chindogu.

Author's note: This Instructable was entered into the "Chindogu" challenge.  Please research that term before commenting.  Thanks.



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    13 Discussions


    2 years ago

    Yes, but humor is not useless! Thanks for the humor on this subject, perhaps you can do one on the Japan nuclear disaster next, I'm sure they could use a smile while dealing with their own "climate change" scenario. It's been a while since you did this project. I didn't see your image on the winners podium at "Chindogu" so I assume you are still trying to make an impression, maybe the Nuclear thingy will get you some needed attention.


    6 years ago on Introduction

    Dude! Did you know many houses are equipped with A/C too?! If we turned those on high and opened all doors and windows, even the equator could be cooled!!!!!!!!!!

    Great plan man! :)


    Reply 6 years ago on Introduction

    Oh yeah, I am aware that it's Chindogu, and a very good example at that!


    6 years ago on Introduction

    The sad thing is that some people actually "THINK" this way... Sigh...


    an ar conditioning works by removing the car's air's heat and putting it in the outside air, not colling the entire air, so it won't get the earth coller, instead, it will heat the earth becouse the air conditioning wastes fuel, heating the earth.


    6 years ago on Introduction

    Oh, my hackles were rising all the way through that, right up until I saw the last word.

    Well done.

    1 reply