Introduction: Heaven and Hell Preserves
This is the most fun gift I give during the holiday season, and it is not for the faint of heart, but it is devilishly hot and as sweet as an angel!
My recipe yields eight 8 oz jars of heavenly yum.
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Step 1: Ingredients
2 lbs. jalapenos
1 lb. onions
4 C. sugar
1/4 C. apple cider vinegar
1/4 C. water
1/2 tsp. turmeric
A large pot
A respectable beer
(8) 8 oz. Ball jars with lids
Step 2: Slice Jalapenos
Choose two pounds of firm, smooth skinned jalapenos. Wash them with vegetable soap and slice them into 1/4" slices or to your preference. Leave the seeds and ribs intact - this is the source of "hell".
Add the jalapenos to a large pot.
Step 3: Slice and Add Onions
Slice (no finesse needed) 1 pound of white or sweet onions and add them to the pot with the jalapenos.
Step 4: Add Liquids
Combine 1/4 C. water with 1/4 C. apple cider vinegar and add to the pot.
Step 5: Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble...
Bring the peppers, onions and liquids to a boil.
It is at this point that you will begin to think I'm insane, because you have a giant pot of vegetables and 1/2 C of liquid, but don't fight the magic!
I've made this faithfully for 8 years and it works!
Step 6: LOLcat Quality Assurance
As these begin to cook down, there should be a delicious, peppery atmosphere in your kitchen. Put your LOLcat on the counter.
If your LOLcat makes this face, UR doing it rite..
Step 7: Sugar & Spice and Everything Nice
When the onions are translucent and the peppers have changed color, add 4 C. sugar and 1/2 tsp. turmeric.
Mix well, and bring mixture back to a low boil.
Step 8: The Final Moments
Simmer the mixture until it resembles my photo - the onions will be translucent and the skin of the jalapenos will begin to wrinkle a bit at the edges. The liquid will have a light syrupy texture.
You will most likely get very thirsty during this step, so take advantage of your respectable beer.
Step 9: Presentation
Remove the Heaven and Hell preserves from the stove and spoon into eight 8 oz. Ball jars that you have warmed with boiling water. Distribute syrup evenly among jars. Leave about an inch of head space in each jar, and attach lids tightly.
Step 10: Cool It, Baby
Allow the jars to come to room temperature before refrigerating.
Step 11: Decorate As Desired
Decorate jars and give to friends. I bring mine to our firehouse every year at Christmas - firemen love hot food!
Heaven and Hell should be served with cream cheese on a cracker - my preference is for Wheat Thins. Be sure recipients have Shiner Bock handy and have said their prayers.
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