How to Eat Chef Boyardee

Introduction: How to Eat Chef Boyardee

About: Usually, I'd put a bunch of random sh*t about myself in this section, but honestly I'm not that interesting. So instead, I'm gonna share and underline a quote by renowned actor Marcel Marceau: "________...

First step is to find the variety of Chef Boyardee (henceforth known as 'CB') that you want to eat. *NOTE* I do not recommend this kind.

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Step 1: Open the Can

Maybe you have a hand crank can opener, maybe you have a nifty magnetic automatic one, maybe you have to use your teeth, whatever it takes.

Step 2: Throw Top in Garbage

Not much to say here.

Step 3: Put Can Upside Down in Bowl

Flip it over quick so as not to spill.

Step 4: Move the Can Around in Circles

This makes like a nice suction in the can, sucking air out or something. I don't know the physics behind it. I just know it works.

Step 5: Pick Up the Can

Pick the can straight up. The contents of the can should come spilling out and making a weird squishy noise. This is my second favorite part of the whole thing.

Step 6: Shake That

Sometimes your food doesn't want to be eaten, and it hides in the can thinking you're an idiot and can't tell it's still in there. Shake it loose.

Step 7: Plop

Now the remaining contents of the can should come out.

Step 8: Anyone There?

Check the can again just in case there's still some sneaky bits still hiding out in there. It's time to eliminate them.

Step 9: Spoonin'

"Oh, you thought you could escape being eaten by clinging to the walls of the can? FALSE! You can do no such thing!" This is something you would say if you were a crazy person. Fortunately, I am not. Take a spoon and get the rest of the food out of the can. Eat it immediately. It doesn't deserve to join the bowl with the others.

Step 10: Save the World

Put the can to the side to be recycled. This is sometimes a good thing to do.

Step 11: Feelin the Heat

Microwave it if you want to. Personally, it doesn't make any difference to me.

Step 12: Just Eat It

Eat your food. Yum.

Step 13: Taste It Again

That stuff was nasty.

Step 14: Please Comment

Please comment if you like anything about this. It could be the humor, the pretty pictures (eh), the degree of helpfulness, or anything. You can even tell me why you hate it. I don't care. Just comment. It's one of the steps. You have to now.

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    7 Discussions


    6 years ago

    @Purocuyu That's what she said


    6 years ago on Introduction

    As a kid, I saw their commercials, and I desperately wanted some of that. Now as an adult, I walk past the cans at the grocery store and think, "we had our chance, CB, and we can never go back, it's too late"...cause seriously, I'm not putting that inside of me.


    6 years ago

    Nicely done


    6 years ago

    This made me laugh , ALOT. Thank you for that. Not to mention I can finally eat that meat ravioli that I just could not figure out how to prepare. Thanks