Have you ever spotted a girl from across the room and wondered what you had to do to get her to go out with you? Maybe you sit by a great girl in one of your classes and just aren't sure how to progress with things. Have you had some unlucky breaks in the pass? Whether you've been out on a couple of dates but feel like you’re doing something wrong, or you’re trying to get that first ever first date, we can help you out! By following the five simple steps below and paying attention to what to do and what not to do, we can get you on a first date and have you well on your way to a second. You never know, these steps could even help you go on a date with the girl you’ll marry someday!
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Step 1: Gauge Her Interest
The first step is to gauge her interest. Did she notice you when you walked in the door? Did she make eye contact with you and smile? Positive expressions such as laughter, smiling, and open body language are great indicators that she is interested in you. If she seems annoyed, busy, or closed off, chances are you should leave her alone and wait for another girl to come along. If she’s always trying to find a reason to talk to you then this is good news!! Why else would an A student ask you for help on a math problem? She’s interested in you! Now we can move onto step 2 and get to know her a little bit better.
Step 2: Get to Know Her
You should try to seek out opportunities for small talk. This could take place while you are standing in the lunch line together, waiting for class to start, or even just passing in a hallway.
You should pay attention to what she likes and dislikes. For instance, if she has a binder with adorable puppies on it, chances are that she likes dogs and might have one of her own. Ask her about it! Don’t be afraid to start asking her more personal questions. You could ask her what her favorite childhood tv show was, or her favorite family vacation. Asking these kinds of questions will not only allow you to learn more about her, but she will also pick up on you being interested in her!
An important tip: Try to focus on her eyes. If she sees you staring at other parts of her body she might think twice about you!
Now that we know what color her eyes are and some personal information, let’s ask her out!
Step 3: Ask Her Out
It’s also important to make sure you ask her out when she’s alone. It can be intimidating and awkward for everyone if she’s with her best girlfriends. This will also allow her to give you an honest answer. She will be more likely to respond in a positive way if you catch her alone than when she knows her friends are judging the actions she makes.
Try not to make a big deal out of asking her out. Make it seem casual and confident, as if you do this every day of the week. Approach her with a friendly, “Hi!” and ask her how her day has been going. You need the right balance of confidence and passiveness. You don’t want to come on too strong or she might become uncomfortable. Make sure you are talking with her at a normal talking pace. If you try and rush through things she might take you as desperate and say no!
If she says no, then stay composed and friendly, end the conversation, and walk away. Don’t feel bad about what happened, take it as a learning experience and see how you can improve on things for the next time a girl catches your eye.
If she doesn't say no, then that must mean she said yes! I know you’re excited that you’re now able to go out on your date, but you have to remain cool and collected. Don’t give her a high five or perform a celebration dance.
Look happy, tell her how excited you are to go out, and make some date plans!
Step 4: Make Date Plans
The best kind of first date is one where you can really talk, get to know each other, and have fun. Make it a relaxing date, somewhere there isn’t a lot of extra noise and you can hear each other talking. You want to be able to concentrate on her, not everything else going on around you. Perhaps suggest a cup of coffee, or a picnic under a tree.
You should also ask her what time works best for her when making concrete plans. Chances are if it works in her schedule, you’ll make time in your schedule to go out on the date with her. It’s also important to note that you should avoid anything vague. For a first date, it’s good that both people know where they are going and what they are doing. It will make the whole experience more comfortable and more likely to continue on past a first date.
Now that you’ve set a date, time, and activity, let’s fast-forward to the date!
Step 5: Go on "The Date"
Nerves are going to be present for at least part of the date for both parties. This is not a bad thing! It’s even okay to let her know that you’re nervous; because she’s probably nervous too. Once both of you realize that you can relax a little, you can enjoy each other more.
Be comfortable with silences. There will be times where you’re both trying to think of something else to add, or a new topic to touch on; you might even just be reflecting on how wonderful the date is going and get lost in thought. Don’t let this stress you out, silence is a normal part of conversation.
So now that you’ve made it through your first date, the next step would be to ask her out again if you find her to be second date material. Make sure she knows you had a good time and will be getting in touch with her about a second date if that is what you decide to do. Otherwise, just let her know you had a good time and leave it at that.
After having gone through the initial phase of meeting a girl, getting to know her and her interests, and asking her out on a date, the rest almost seems easy! Once you’ve gone through the process once, it will be easier the next time, and the next after that. Each time gives you a new experience where you’re able to learn and tweak your approach; until you finally find the one that works for you and land the girl of your dreams. Happy dating!