How to Build a Nuclear Bomb... (This Is Not Real, Only Ment for Laughs and If You Seriously Want to Build One... I Pity You)

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Introduction: How to Build a Nuclear Bomb... (This Is Not Real, Only Ment for Laughs and If You Seriously Want to Build One... I Pity You)

This is just for laughs... The opinions expressed here are the opinions of the individual and not of paramount pictures... If you are offended in any way by the statements said here within this instructable, then don't read it, don't complain and please don't send it to others to read, get offended and then complain. Oh and i'll eventually post a real instructable, I have plenty of great ideas but in the mean time enjoy my humor...

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Step 1: Protection Is a Must...

First step, buy a lead cup. Sure it may slowly poison you but least the impotence won't be from the radiation poisoning...

Step 2: Finding the Right Materials...

Build a rocket out of some old washing machines and melt down a few of those metal nuts and bolts aliens/predators for a shiny new coating...

Step 3: Procuring the Element...

Try to get hold of some Uranium 238 only to be looked at funny then laughed out of every science lab from here to Guantanamo bay...

Step 4: Always Be Prepared...

Get a can of surplus baked beans from the army, then place in the middle of rocket and ignite the rocket... oh no! I forgot to tell you how to actually construct the internal combustion engine for the rocket...

Step 5: Propulsion of a Different Kind...

Spend way too much money and time researching how to build a rocket engine after eating the heated can of baked beans...

Step 6: To Sleep the Enternal Sleep...

Die of lead poisoning from not from the cup you are wearing but the army surplus baked beans from 1957...

Step 7: Take Up Another Hobby...

Learn that if you don't die from the radiation of the Uranium you need to make a nuclear bomb, then your diet and/or apparel will undoubtedly do you in... SO DON'T BUILD A NUCLEAR BOMB... Go and burn some ants with a magnifying glass or something...

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    83 Discussions

    0
    Nuclaphile
    Nuclaphile

    4 years ago

    You need uranium 235 to make a nuclear weapon and if you really want to make a nuclear weapon just compres to masses of uranium 235 for long enough to reach supercritical mass you can achieve this by doing many things like the gun method used by the hiroshima bomb which uses a long metel tube with a basic explosibe at the end of.the barrel shortly followed by some uranium 235 then at the end of the barrel there is some more uranium 235 and then another method is where you form a sphere of shaped charges that will make a perfect shockwave to hold the uraniuk 235 that forms the next part of the bomb also spherical and then the next part is comprised of a device that will release neutron radiation the later of these methods is the best way as the first method can result in what is called a fizle these are atom bomb methods but the most powerfull of the nuclear bombs would be a fusion bomb

    0
    Bob.Burandt
    Bob.Burandt

    8 years ago on Introduction


    Here is how to build, or assemble, a real atomic bomb.  Go visit a US Army recruiter and tell him or her that you want to work with nuclear weapons.  They can help you.

    0
    electric_piano_5k
    electric_piano_5k

    9 years ago on Step 3

    The science labs will laugh because you need Uranium 235 to make a bomb! And that you definitely can't buy on ebay.

    0
    onepiece94
    onepiece94

    9 years ago on Step 7

    dude.... you have a great ironic random f*&^%$ up (maybe) sense of humor in some kind of way......just like me......lol......its funny.....

    0
    smg
    smg

    9 years ago on Introduction

    hey if you want to make a nuclear bomb you should get weapons grade uranium 70%/ 88%/ 90% is just fine. you should make ball with it, i think there is 14kg of nuclear material. and put the explosives covering the ball and to detonate the uranium you nedd C4 or dynamite and blasting caps to detonate the primary charge the explosive. i advice dynamite because the explosion radius is circular instead c4 because the explosin force goes up.

    0
    antoman11
    antoman11

    9 years ago on Step 7

    sorry not very funny or instructional in any way.
    :P

    0
    h2hummers
    h2hummers

    11 years ago on Step 7

    wow you said "only ment for laughs" i didnt laugh once. i didnt even expect to laugh maybe a slight chuckle. but no.

    0
    bpfh
    bpfh

    Reply 9 years ago on Step 7

    I'm afraid that I have to agree. Except for the lead poisoned jockstrap :)

    There is so much information about nuclear weaponry, true and false out of there, you have so many texts and diverse bits of data that you could compile with a humorous tone even filling in with fake data and other quips along the the lines of the jockstrap and you could have a grade-A funny-ible.

    Keep trying. What does not kill you makes you stronger!

    0
    ferraricrash
    ferraricrash

    10 years ago on Step 7

    really dude you need to find some better hobbys my 2 year old bro could photo shop something way better AND HE CANT EVEN TALK!!!!!!!

    0
    freakyqwerty
    freakyqwerty

    Reply 9 years ago on Introduction

    I'f I were you I wouldn't be boasting that your brother can't talk yet he can use photo shop...

    0
    Marshal Banana
    Marshal Banana

    9 years ago on Step 2

    The tail is a bike chain, arms are screws and crowbar, legs are spark plugs. It looks like most of the detail is made of small screws. Looks like a nice weekend welding project.

    0
    Arano
    Arano

    10 years ago on Introduction

    why is there no part describing how to build the a-bomb? they are not that hard to make... (and not really more complex then regular bombs)

    0
    CyberHULK
    CyberHULK

    10 years ago on Introduction

     Ok, I already put up the disclosure saying not to comment if it isn't going to be positive. "I didn't even laugh once" well get that stick removed by a doctor and try again. Useful comments only people and while "You rock" and "OMG So funny" aren't the most useful of comments, I'll still accept them as they are positive.

    0
    szechuan53
    szechuan53

    11 years ago on Introduction

    devilwyrm is right. i am 14 and have radioactive material, a rock formed from nuke testing in white sands desert, ironically. get it 'here.'

    0
    szechuan53
    szechuan53

    Reply 11 years ago on Introduction

    yep. i have been collecting it in a lead jar i made.