How to Destroy a Book in Seven Easy Steps

Maybe an ex gave it to you, or you really don’t like the book, or you just want to destroy something, and this is an extra book you have. Sometimes you feel like destroying something, but you don’t have many dishes. Instead of throwing something, try destroying a book instead. Destroying a book can be highly satisfying – the loud sound of tearing pages, etc. Destroying a book is therapeutic and can help you move on to the next stage in your life.

Step 1: Supplies

- 1 book

- a dog (optional)

- matches or a lighter

- water

- razor blade or x-acto knife

Step 2: Select Book

Select your book. Whatever the reason you want to destroy this book, choose carefully, because there’s no going back once you start.

Step 3: Give Book to Dog (optional)

Even if you do have a dog, this step depends on whether the dog chews on everything. Results can vary (and make sure your dog doesn’t actually swallow any pages). Another option is finding a friend or relative’s dog to give the book to.

Step 4: Drown It

You can pour water onto the book directly or put it in the sink, whichever you prefer. Just be sure it dries out completely before moving on to the next step. Drying it out will take several days, and you will need to flip pages every so often to make sure it dries evenly.

Step 5: Cut It

You're going to have to be careful not to cut yourself on this step, but it can be the most fun! Take a razor blade (it's best not to use just the blade, but get an x-acto knife or something else with a handle) and place the book open on the floor or the table. Then cut strips out with the blade until it's satisfactorily shredded.

Step 6: Burn It

After you have shreds of paper all over the place, take the ripped-out pages outside, away from any leaves or other flammable things, and light them on fire. You can do this one page at a time or most of it at once.

Step 7: Get Rid of It Forever

You're finally done. If you're satisfied with everything you did to your book, wrap it all up in a plastic bag and bury it in the trash. (Or in a hole in the backyard, if you prefer.) Take what closure the total devastation of a book gave you and try to move on with your life.