You know it can't be this way forever. It's time to make a step. Just a little step to leave everything behing. Let's draw a pony! Ponys are cute, ponys are nice, ponys are giving you beautiful smiles. Now, stop looking at this picture from google search results...
...and take your tablet. Open a drawing app. Any app you like, it's your time to choose now.
Relax. Leave everything that disturbs you, everything that scares you and everything that makes you sad far far away. Nothing can hurt you now. Feel your hands. Feel the warmth in your fingers. And just... let it flow... just draw... a pony. And when you feel your'e finished, take a look at your creatation.
Now close your eyes. Take a deep breath and say: "FFFUUUU*******K!!!" Yes! Say it loud! "FFFUUUU********K IT ALL!!!". Don't be afraid your neighbours will hear you, they know, they deserve this, they're just too shy to admit it. Don't be afraid to look rude in your own eyes this is just a pony spirit talking within you. And you don't have to be afraid of the world around you, just think of a little pony that gives you smiles. It folows you wherever you go... ...Forever.