Introduction: How to Eat an IT'S-IT (Without Getting Covered in Ice Cream)
So, you might have been to the West Coast, and while there, you might have stumbled upon or been introduced to an It's-It. This ice cream sandwich is much beloved by Bay Area natives, and while I am not one, I have partaken in the wonder that is the it's-it.
One problem: while beautiful to look at and incredible to consume, they are not suitable for those who fear becoming covered in ice cream. Hands. Face. Lap. (Unless you read this guide)
This guide will help you properly eat an it's-it when you are around fastidious grandparents, on a first date (though you should be as messy as your true self always on first dates), or during an important job interview.
Step 1: Meeting the It's-it
Firstly, choosing an it's-it. A very important step in the eating process.
They're all good. Mint. Vanilla. Chocolate. Coffee.
First date? Mint.
Grandparents? Classic vanilla.
Job interview: Coffee.
Great. That's done. Now, the real lesson begins.
Step 2: Anatomy
What makes up an it's it?
1. Outer layer of chocolate. Be careful, this is a thin layer and it melts quickly. Watch out for the ever present danger of dropping it on the ground. You don't want to share this with ants, they won't appreciate it as much as you will.
2. Oatmeal cookies. This food is the epitome of health, clearly, as it is sandwiched between two oatmeal cookies.
3. Ice cream. Also melty.
Step 3: CAREFUL!
You are now ready to eat the it's-it. But first! Be warned that the ice cream sandwich likes to play tricks on you.
What tricks you might ask?
Well the obvious is melting. On your face, lap, hands, nearby dog. Avoid that by eating quickly.
But the real kicker is known as the "SMUSH" - scary, huh?
The smush is when the cookies smush out all the ice cream around the sides.
This has several sad consequences:
1. ice cream loss
2. messy hands
3. ant party at your feet
Avoid this by reading the next step. Some call it cheating, I call it getting to eat all your ice cream.
Step 4: The Split
We've all eaten an oreo. Probably. If you haven't, rewind to step one and replace with "eat an oreo" then proceed.
So the antidote to the ice cream's tricky tricks is THE SPLIT.
Twist or use a knife until the cookies come apart with equal (or close to equal) amounts of ice cream on each side. This way you can eat it as if you are eating the world's best open face sandwich. Except the bread is cookie and the stuff is ice cream!
Step 5: EAT
Congratulations! You've reached the best step of all. You read many words to get here, and you earned it. Eat this glorious dessert with the knowledge that you will lose none of it to the creatures or humans around you.