How to Make a Beard Forest

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About: I am a 36 year old theatrical electrician/lighting designer living and working in the San Francisco Bay Area. When I get free time I like to make things ranging from cigar box amplifiers to stuffed Cthulhus....

Over two years ago I had thought that started out as a seed and eventually grew into a mighty beard forest. I was once a clean shaven youth who was prone to jaunts into ridiculous facial hair be it Franz Joseph or a Yosemite Sam styled beard. The problem is for some reason no matter how crazy your facial hair is people take it very seriously. Something about a joke that takes six months to grow...

Well one day I was checking my email and saw an instructables staff pick for a how to make a fairy house. I was inspired I could make a fairy house in my beard. However after consulting with some witches it turns out that fairies aren't that nice. I wasn't sure I wanted to invite them into my beard anymore. However I still wanted to do something tiny and ridiculous with my facial hair and so began two years of growing out my beard to have a big enough beard for a whole forest. If you have an hour to kill, already have a big beard, and want to your very own beard forest(maybe a little forest in your hair if you lack a beard) come with me and see how to make a home for tiny lumberjacks on your face!

Step 1: Tools and Supplies

To make your own beard forest you'll need the following

Tools

  • Helping hands
  • Coins(or other spacers)

Materials

  • Super Glue (Cyanoacrylate glue)
  • Cyanoacrylate glue accelerator (we do only have an hour afterall)
  • Small Scale Model Railroad trees and scenery
  • Bobby pins

Step 2: Attaching Roots to Your Beard Trees

With all the materials gathered. It was time to attach the bobby pins to the trees so I could plant them in my beard. To do this I placed a coin in the bobby pin and used the helping hands to hold the tree and pin in the correct orientation. The trees are parallel to the bobby pin for beard use or perpendicularly form the bobby pin for use in hair. If you have more time on your hands you can let the glue dry on its own or you can do what I did and speed it up with a spritz of the accelerator. Because we are in a hurry I made a 20 second time lapse of the whole gluing process. Once you have the trees all glued up and are sure the glue is dry it is time to plant your beard forest.

Step 3: Plant Your Tree Forest and Bask in the Absurdity of What You've Done

I loosely braided my the lower part of my beard to make sure the upper beard hair would be fertile ground for my little trees. Next I looked into a hunk of mirrored acrylic left over from my recent shop stereo project and carefully planted my trees and placed my lumberjack's trailer. It was time to take some ridiculous photos for posterity so future generations can bask in the absurdity of the beard forest. Thanks for taking the time to check out my beard forest. I hope you got a kick out of it. I know I did. If you decide to have your own hair based diorama I'd love to see the end results. Happy making.

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    47 Discussions

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    sheba92766

    2 days ago

    Your list of materials had me questioning your logic & safety, until I realized the glue was for the bobby pins. But then again, he's making a BEARD FOREST. No, really I think it's neat. In the winter you could add snow. Next time try a jungle w swinging & climbing creatures & tropical fauna. Put a few short braids up high for them to hang onto. Maybe your lumberjack could try his hand as Tarzan.

    1 reply

    Thanks for the awesome ideas. Maybe a haunted cemetery for Halloween! Glueing the Bobby pins vs directly to the beard allows for deforestation and reforestation with ease in the future.

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    winneremerald12

    4 days ago

    This could be a new trend. I should convince my grandfather to do this. I'm sure we'd all have a good laugh. Voted.

    1 reply

    That would be incredible. If you can convince your grandfather to give it a go I'd love to see how it turns out. Thanks for checking out the instructable and the nice comments. :D

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    micjavier

    7 days ago

    im new here on instructables you are my inspiration :) lol good work man! spread the love.

    1 reply

    Thank you! I'm glad my wackiness was inspiring. Your comment is inspiring too. Thanks for the encoragement!

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    tobosbunny

    7 days ago

    You have a sense of humor I love and admire. If you can't have fun with life what is the point? Your wife is a lucky woman!

    1 reply
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    OculumForamen

    11 days ago

    L O L Funny, for all the right reasons! Lots of people have a hard time with social parody, this is just a real life kind of joke that we might see on the Simpsons! You should have gone the hardcore diorama route, and added a little road and a fire pit, some perching birds, perhaps even a little running train the goes through a tunnel at the back of your beard! Then, to top it all off you could make it rain by drinking water, and letting it dribble down your chin!!! XD

    1 reply

    It sounds like I'll need a much much bigger beard! I'm glad you got a laugh out of the project. It makes me glad to know I'm spreading my peculiar humor :)

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    abinc

    11 days ago

    What did I see waving from the forest? You didn't say it was inhabited! About the size of an ant. Oh. Maybe it is an ant. Remember, no open fires!

    1 reply
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    TinkeringProductionsabinc

    Reply 11 days ago

    That was my tiny lumberjack! He's a lumberjack and that's okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

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    tincupchalice

    11 days ago

    I'm going to attempt to grow a live hanging strawberry plant in my berd.

    1 reply

    That sounds like a delicious plan. Mayber look into some of the hydroponics guides. I could see combining your idea with hydroponics and it working out quite well if you have the patience for it. :) Good luck and if you go for it I'd love to see how it turns out.

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    rottndachs

    11 days ago

    Dude, you made this entirely too hard. Just get some crimp beads and needle nose pliers.
    Honestly. I have to say this is by far one of the best. Thank you so much for the smile.

    1 reply
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    Crimp beads sounds like a great way to do this as well. I had the CA glue on hand and you know the saying when all you have is a hammer. I guess the same goes for CA glue. Thanks for taking the time to check out my beard forest. I'm glad I was able to make you smile.