How to Make a Placenata

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Whether tossed out with the trash, buried in the backyard, or mixed into your favorite soup recipe, the placenta is an organ worth celebrating over. The following tutorial outlines how to combine the ultimate party favor, the piñata, with the ultimate afterbirth.

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Step 1: Step 1

Begin with an oblong, spherical piñata. Paint it with several layers of goopy red and brown paint. We used Crayola brand finger paints because they are non-toxic without sacrificing any gross-looking qualities. To achieve a thicker consistency we suggest adding RIT dye. RIT not only adds to the girth but also floods one with memories of tye-dying in Mrs. Chistopherson’s art class.

Step 2: Step 2

Make sure to leave areas of thick dark red or brown paint to simulate placental veins.

Step 3: Next Step

Note: Using a slightly green undercoat really accentuates the reds.

Step 4: Step 4

The umbilical cord is fashioned out of torn red rags woven into a lumpy rope. These can be found in the automotive section at your local grocery store.

Step 5: Another Step

Generously apply red paint. Everything must be covered in blood.

Step 6: And Yet Another Step

Attach the cord to the placenta. It will serve as the rope from which you dangle the piñata.

Step 7: And Another Step...

Fill with appropriate candy. We used Sour Patch Kids and Swedish Fish. San Fransisco Fred asked if the fish were to emulate semen. No Fred, though a valid question, we just happen to love Swedish Fish. The Sour Patch Kids, on the other hand, were meant to represent preemies.

Step 8: Step 8

Toy babies are an elegant touch that adds authenticity.

Step 9: Step 9

Your placeñata is ready to be smashed. But don’t skimp on ancillary party details.

Step 10: Party Musts

Like the Mariachi band.

Step 11: Party Musts Cont.

And dancing gringos.

Step 12: Back to Instructions

Once the party is well underway break out the blindfold and hitting stick. Sam only had a fishing rod, which worked wonderfully.

Step 13: Almost There

ha ha ha... look at everyone having soooo much fun

Step 14: Success

Yippeeeee!

Step 15: Final

Alas, another party/pregnancy has ended in a pile of beer cans and wrinkled, bloody dreams.

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    46 Discussions

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    MaxineLaRue

    9 years ago on Introduction

    Veerry interesting, but I must say it looks more like a dissected brain balloon. I've seen & studied a couple of my own placenta growths spread flat out or in a bowl and they were much more silvery blue and smooth - not too much blood. Fun idea but not at all realistic.  Haha.  ~:oP

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    LiamsMama

    9 years ago on Step 4

    WELL....obviously....they are not afraid of it.lmao, i think they're funny

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    twocvbloke

    10 years ago on Introduction

    You should put condoms in there too, to aid in preventing creation of a new placenta... :P

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    puadxe

    10 years ago on Introduction

    This'll be great for my next abortion party, thank you.

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    spursley

    11 years ago on Step 15

    Uhh, what's the point??????????????????????????????

    Cool, reminds me of a baby harp seal pinata I once made for a Politically Incorrect party at the Circus in Santa Cruz, it was filled with red vines and beef jerky and you had to hit it with a rifle butt.

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    imxtoph

    11 years ago on Introduction

    man that is wrong on so many levels, heh,heh,heh i love it.

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    gamefreek76

    11 years ago on Introduction

    For epic lulz, you should make a giant wire coat hanger to extract the babies!

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    jessicarabbit

    11 years ago on Introduction

    This is the funniest thing I've ever seen on this site. Very appropriate for a Halloween party or a Baby shower =).

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    hondagofast

    11 years ago on Introduction

    No comment. Oh wait, this is a comment. Well, this is sick, in the good way and the bad way.

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    Gonazar

    11 years ago on Introduction

    Bwahahaha! Thats sick, but halarious. Funny part is that i didn't really get the name and thought it was a testicle at first, now theres a project!

    Good job on the instructable'

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    TossManual

    11 years ago on Introduction

    This is insulting to women with mustaches and people who wear black everywhere. Not to mention the alien insectoid mother you dismembered and then abused for your amusement. You're sick, childless puppies.

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    SharonH

    11 years ago on Introduction

    This way out-does my turkey neck-bones Christmas tree ornaments!