How to Survive a Zombie Invasion!

 Surviving a zombie invasion can be hard. gather your supplies and I am Legend may be you!

Step 1: What You Will Need

 clothing will be addressed later.

What you will need:

1. Lightweight hiking backpack-for carrying supplies and other stuff1. Bottle of Ibuprofen-while fighting off hordes of zombies your bound to get hurt or be sore from something and anything stronger than ibuprofen will dim your sense of judgment or tire you out.
2. Bottles of multivitamins- you will probably have a food shortage at one point or another and these will help out a lot.2. 60-yard rolls of duct tape- this will help out a lot. Uses include a tourniquet; something snaps in half, sealing things shut. You may want to bring even more. So useful I cant even explain.
1. Good multi-tool, Swiss Victorinox, Leatherman, or Huntsman- very useful. Cutting things, opening cans, very versatile, don’t go anywhere without it.As much canned non-perishable food as possible- ramen noodles, canned fish only, canned soup, for desert you might get away with a box of Oreo’s or Chips Ahoy cookies if you must.
One for every group member, Small high powered flashlight- lights the path and is helpful if you don’t know whether your about to take the multivitamins or ibuprofen.1. Cyanide pill for every person in your group. If you just downright can’t stand fighting off zombies any more this is your last weapon. It is for you so don’t try getting this in a zombies’ mouth. I don’t know where you can get these, try a hardware store in the isle where they keep the rat poison and rodent killing stuff?

Step 2: People You Want to Be With

 Don't get stuck with complete bastards(pardon me)! follow this step!

There are certain people you will want to be with. This is because they have certain skills that help a lot. You want strong men, they help, you want a nerd because they read comic books and play World of Warcraft and know about monsters and stuff like that. You want a safety freak mother or a doctor/nurse of some sort. You will get cut, bit, scratched, punched, bloody, fall, get bumped by something sharp, and thousands of other ways to get hurt. Also, someone who isn’t afraid to get down and dirty and fight.  

Step 3: Location

You will want to have a building to stay in. the best available are bomb shelters. These are good because they will be stocked up with weeks worth of water and food(probably crackers) and have no windows (under ground), doors, and have electricity. You want to avoid places that have lots of windows, entrances, and major attractions towards other uninfected people. Windows are bad because zombies are not as stupid as you may think. When they look through a window and see a light on or a cellular phone or anything of that nature it is like making a flashing neon sign that says “hey, were alive and waiting for you to come and bite us”. Translation to zombie talk lblling p’pl bllod hrr.

Step 4: Killing Them

For most zombies, destroying the brain will work or decapitation.Don’t try to burn them because they are the undead. The only thing worse than hordes of the undead trying to kill you is hordes of the undead trying to kill you while on fire. If you have seen Freddie Vs Jason you see Jason walking through the cornfield on fire and lighting up everything he touches. He is undead. Imagine thousands of them slowly walking towards you. Scary.

Step 5: Clothing

What to wear

Male:
t shirt- under armour
jacket- lots of pockets
cargo pants- not baggy
running shoes
underclothes

female:
private stuff
t-shirt- under armour
non baggy cargo pants
underclothes

Step 6: Weapons

Weapons make the difference between life and being a zombie.

Do's
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pistol-semi auto
shotgun- slugs, buckshot within 15 feet
the huge triple turret bad boy- if you have the ammo, for large hords
rpg, rocket launcher, bazooka- in the masses
katana, sharp swords- only if you are trained to use it. not for safety but effiency
laser- pinpoint accuracy
sniper-packs a punch with dead accuracy

don't
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huge full auto things that are inaccurate on anything but the masses
stuff that wastes bullets

Step 7: Have Fun!!!!

This is the part where you start looting shopping malls and calling everyone you know to meet you at the ___ and bring ____.