Introduction: How to Be the Life and Soul of the Party

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About: I am a splendid example of humanity, kindness and selflessness ooze out of my every pore. When not instructing the less learned on this medium I try to grow potatoes from seed, quite a daunting task believe m…


People from all walks of life frequently ask me how it is that I manage so effortlessly to keep a party, or any type of social gathering, 'going' (to use a common colloquialism).

Therefore it seems only just that I try to impart this knowledge to my fellow instructables, after all it can hardly be stressed enough that those blessed with decorum, flair and a debonair exterior, such as myself, should step into the breach and help those who are less fortunate.

Now to some extent, my social poise and successfully gregarious nature may be attributed to my stunning physical beauty, nonetheless, you too, I assure you that this is so, may also be the life and soul of any party were you to follow the advice which is now to follow.


Step 1: Causing a Stir on Arrival


It is of the utmost importance for anyone who wishes to be accepted by the socially elite to be noticed, the only sure way of achieving this effect is to cause a stir at the onset of any fashionable gathering.

For a gentleman, and in this context dear readers I apply the term loosely, all that is needed is to show more than 1/2 of an inch of your cuff, wearing somewhat brash links is a possibility though this requires a certain level of finesse and aplomb that I fear you will not have at this time.

For the Lady's, and even the ladies, present, I urge you to wear a stole, not only are these lovely objects increasingly rare they will enhance what attractions, presuming there are any, you possess.

Step 2: Mingling


There seems to be an alarming lack of internet tutorials on this vital subject. I find this most perplexing indeed.

Mingling with other guests and dignitaries is insisted upon when dealing with more refined and courteous people. All that is required is a smattering of knowledge on any popular topic of the day.

Have on hand several witticisms that will serve for any purpose and feel free to quote well known cliches from minor authors. Be warned, profundity is considered inelegant.

While one ought to avoid appearing haughty it is never a good idea to appear to become too intimate with your social inferiors, hence it is best to smile vaguely in the direction of your local banker but not to enter into conversation with them.

Step 3: Leaving the Party


It is absolutely imperative that you leave these functions in a graceful and sober manner. It is best to be seen leaving with another, highly glamorous and desirable, person.

Timing is critical, in choosing what time to leave, one must leave after having stayed a reasonable time or risk offending the host/ess, yet one must never outstay ones welcome.