How to Become Immortal

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Introduction: How to Become Immortal

You want to be immortal? It's easy, just follow these step accordingly.


Warning: once immortal, your perception of time will become shorter when the years (or marionds in the east side of the galaxy) go by. Prepare to witness horrible things to flash by in what seems like less than a day.

Step 1:

First, get a map of the commonly known universe. Preferably a UG 20313 model. 

Step 2:

After that, find the universe Atatio 4, or MACS0647-JD if you are in the Orion belt.

Step 3:

Next, you can take your simple "Go Maxxio!" ship that you pilot to work and get to Atatio 4 in 2 minutes....... Or you can go out and buy a HyperMaX Torditure Speed Hyperio which will get you there in less than a second.

Step 4:

When in Atatio 4, you need to tell you UPS (Universal Positioning System) to locate Farthfofaxixsmaximum, on which contains a pool of hyper saturated Glone. 

Step 5:

Travel to the pool of condensed liquid and take a sip. You are now immortal. 

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    11 Discussions

    what do you mean by Warning: once immortal, your perception of time will become shorter when the years (or marionds in the east side of the galaxy) go by. Prepare to witness horrible things to flash by in what seems like less than a day.

    3 replies

    When you are millions of years old, a day will seem like seconds. As you get older, time goes by quickly. Also, if you were immortal, you would eventually go insane due to the psychological terror your brain will recieve.

    *sorry for the long post, just had a 2 cents moment :)*

    Not exactly.
    Time will not got by faster or slower, in the present, a day will seem like a day and an hour will seem like an hour.
    But when you think back you will feel like time went by really fast.
    Much like your first years in school where each year felt like a decade, now each year feels a lot faster.
    There are 2 Reasons for this:
    1st, as you age your perception of time keeps growing, when you were 1 year old your first year was 100% of your life, when you were 2 years old that certain year was only 50% of your life and so on.
    Meaning in your mind each year is worth less and less percent wise and thus feels faster.
    The 2nd reason is as you go through life there are some things that make an impact while most other dont for example in 1000 years you will still probably remember the day you got married, but nothing after that until the next big thing such as your first child.
    Meaning the longer you live the larger the gaps between each meaningful memory, thus a feeling of a faster pace of time.

    And no, while most people will get bored of life pretty quickly and might be driven insane out of boredom, not many people will be driven insane by the passing of time, as it has no immediate effect on your mind.

    Is this real and proven?

    Or Synthasize the liquid in a lab from fetal tissue

    0
    user
    scrmrz

    3 years ago

    Yeah see...my ship is in the repair shop so I'll just have To go next week

    or you could just hitch a ride, remember to grab your towel and don't panic!

    Or, to save on gas, locate a neighborhood vampire and somehow trick them into biting you.

    I recommend bacon-scented perfume. (Makes 'em hungry.)