Want to attend UCSC but worried about making friends or fitting in? Let me give you a hand.
Step 1: Flannel
At least 50% of your clothing should be flannel. Don't worry, they sell it at Urban Outfitters on Pacific.
Step 2: Bong
At UCSC, you are judged by the company you keep. And by that I mean your bong.
Step 3: Impractical and Wacky Winter Headgear
It is vital that you wear your elaborate knit cap all year long, no matter how hot it gets. The more pom-poms and tassels the better, and bonus points if it is handmade by indigenous tribespeople from somewhere nobody has ever heard of.
Step 4: Metal Water Bottle
This one's pretty logical. They keep your water cold and don't give you cancer, which is pretty cool.
Step 5: Bare Your Feet.
Shoes were created by the Man to keep you down.
Step 6: Tattoos
As important a part of your wardrobe as your flannel.
Step 7: Obama
Don't forget to keep congratulating yourself on electing him.
Step 8: Causes
Find a cause you can really get behind, preferably one that will allow you to impress your friends with your compassion and knowledge of world affairs. Palestinian liberation is a good one because there's tons of rallies and their flag is pretty stylish.
Step 9: Bob
Bob Marley represents the aspirations of many UCSC students by smoking weed, having dreadlocks, and not being white.