How to Lie to Authority Figures

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Introduction: How to Lie to Authority Figures

About: Taking back the world, one hacked game console at a time ... Have you ever felt like the technology you love could be used against you? Or that the government is watching you .. a little too closely? Have...

Lying to authority figures is something I have gotten good at over the years. These steps are what I do to keep out of trouble. This is going to take some practice before you get it right for yourself. This isn't something you can learn overnight, but if you get good at it, it will save your neck in the end.

Step 1: Stay Calm

Remember, you're innocent even if you're not. You have nothing to worry about.

It helps to convince yourself that you are telling the truth to begin with. You can not be lying if you don't think you're lying. You might be delusional, but that doesn't matter since you have convinced yourself you are telling the truth.

Step 2: Speak in Generalities

This sometimes works if the person is stupid enough. If your person is good at interrogation this is only going to make them angry. Trust me.

It's good to offer as few details as possible. Only give details if asked for them. Details can be used to unravel lies.

Step 3: Be Prepared

Think of it like a test or a job interview. Think before hand of the questions that this person might ask and rehearse the answers to yourself. Remember to keep the answers short and to the point. Don't provide needless details or bad alibis.

Step 4: Keep Eye Contact and Positive Body Language

There are certain tells that can give away that someone is lying. For instance, when my dad lies he gets all bug-eyed. In fact, many people do that.

To keep from giving yourself away the first thing you want to do is keep eye contact with the person you are talking to. Unless, you are one of those freaks that never make eye contact with anyone. Then, whatever you do, don't make eye contact.

The best way to make eye contact is to focus on an imaginary spot somewhere to the left of their head around their left ear. This will seem like you are looking straight at them.

Keep a neutral and relaxed posture and don't do anything that would make you seem nervous like shake or scratch your neck. I like to stay relaxed by singing Irish folk songs to myself. The kind of song that goes on and on and on.

Step 5: Live Your Lie

If you are going to lie, you have to stand behind it from then on and never change your story. Bring it up from time to time when talking to the person. It will seem more truthful.

Step 6: Don't Get Caught

If you get caught, never tell the truth. Make up another lie or tell a half-truth that isn't as bad and would have forced you to make up the original lie. The goal is to distract them from the real truth and keep yourself out of trouble.

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    60 Discussions

    0
    charlesd.parker.33
    charlesd.parker.33

    2 years ago

    Some interesting points. Are you one of Donald Trump's children?

    0
    emmabear0310
    emmabear0310

    3 years ago

    awesome thank you this saved my neck

    0
    mrstan
    mrstan

    4 years ago

    Dictionary should have as defintion of a LIE... See Clinton.

    0
    Skai
    Skai

    9 years ago on Step 3

    This girl scout gots it down. I think that this step would be the best utilized if you use flash cards (not the techie ones, the ones you made back in school ,duke) . Flash cards, when practiced regularly, allows you to memorize even the most skillfully intricate and brilliant lies. You are then able to say them quickly on the flip of a dime to anyone, so that the pace of the lie you are saying is natural, as it has no interruptions (that obviously are for thinking of what to come up with!). Also, it then becomes just a matter of how you act out your lie, what your demeanor is. You can focus on that after making some cards. Here's a nice instructable for making easy to read flash cards : https://www.instructables.com/id/How-To-Make-Flash-Cards-The-Fast-Easy-and-Right/

    0
    ilpug
    ilpug

    Reply 9 years ago on Introduction

    This is a good idea. One thing to note, however, is that over extensive questioning a persons's story should change in minor but detectable ways if they are telling the truth. This is because someone who is actually telling the truth is more relaxed, and less focused, so they screw up a little bit. The surest way to be caught as a liar is to keep your story the exact same at every retelling. All you need to do is to change the wording of your story slightly at each retelling, or maybe change some obvious but unimportant details.

    0
    diy_bloke
    diy_bloke

    Reply 6 years ago on Introduction

    Nothing wrong with changing the wording of yr story from time to time, but even if you tell one consistent story in exactly the same words the police may suspect and even accuse you of lying (they will do that anyway) but there is no proof.

    As lawyers say: there is no guilt or innocence, it is only what the court makes of it.

    0
    Plo Koon
    Plo Koon

    8 years ago on Step 4

    my ears always turn red. i guess i'll just have to wear a stocking cap while i lie through my teeth.....

    0
    ilpug
    ilpug

    9 years ago on Introduction

    for all the people who say that lying is bad, i present you with the time honored maxim: ITS ONLY BAD IF YOU GET CAUGHT. i assume this will be taken as trollbait, but i had to say it.

    0
    Outmodeduser
    Outmodeduser

    10 years ago on Step 5

    I dont know, my friends very athiestic, and I always ask him, "Why bother then?" Evolution is proven, we know that. But I like to believe there is SOMETHING (aka God) out there.

    0
    charlsncharg
    charlsncharg

    Reply 10 years ago on Introduction

     because to some people being as close to the truth as we believe it is more important that being comfortable

    0
    ilpug
    ilpug

    Reply 9 years ago on Introduction

    What about the Theory of God?

    0
    ncaplan
    ncaplan

    Reply 9 years ago on Step 5

    not every aspect of evolution is proven. it remains to be called the Theory of Evolution. you can't test it on all angles. aspects of it are certainly true which no religious person (that I know) would argue on. antibodies in our bodies evolve, but is that a proof we came from monkey's?

    0
    Skai
    Skai

    9 years ago on Step 4

    Hahahaha maybe like that old mountain dew or some song like that, i got you. That's pretty cool that the effect of looking at someone's left ear-kinda-in-that-area will make em think that you are looking them right in the eye. Where'd you get that from? I'd like to try it out. Maybe a good suggestion to people who really have something important to keep a secret from the authorities should practice on friends or comrades-in-arms and ask them if it looks like you are looking them in the eye. I guess it would be a whole lot less nerve-racking to not actually look into someone's eyes while lying. They can be pretty scary eyes. Also, maybe you can tell your friends that hey for today I'm going to be lying to you a lot, but you're not going to know (like that game two truths and a lie) , and I'm going to see if you can catch me. Ask them if they notice any physical tics. Maybe catch it on video. Do it in the mirror, like politicians do. WHATEVER! I'm thinking if it's as important as some of the lies they got to maintain, then...

    0
    Mirime
    Mirime

    Reply 9 years ago on Step 4

    Learned the left ear trick in public presentaions never belived in what i was saying but got about 40-60 bucks for it

    0
    willilenium1121
    willilenium1121

    11 years ago on Step 5

    How is this a perfect example of a liar? Evolution is indeed a fact with evidence. Can you show me evidence of god? He isn't wrong with "life has no meaning" its his own belief like god which makes its true for those who believe. You cannot tell me money is not everything in this world. Sure some things can't be bought with money but without it your a dead man walking. unless your a bum in a shelter.

    0
    Ironfounderson
    Ironfounderson

    Reply 11 years ago on Step 5

    Ahem.....the facts in the photo are all labeled as lies. Therefore, yogurtofdeath is calling the fellow in the pic a liar for saying these bits of information are untrue.

    0
    Skai
    Skai

    Reply 9 years ago on Step 5

    Mm. well said

    0
    jordanf1313
    jordanf1313

    10 years ago on Step 1

    this picture.....i dont get it.   is it a ride?  lol, wtf

    0
    Karletto555
    Karletto555

    10 years ago on Introduction

    few years ago a cop stopped me for road check.
    "where are you driving to?" he asked.
    "iam just driving around" i said.
    He looked a bid angry because of the answer but in matter of seconds he let me go.

    0
    =SMART=
    =SMART=

    10 years ago on Introduction

    Very good, step 4 was very funny "maybe too close" hahaha