How to Make a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

Ever wanted to create the cocktail described as being like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick? Well now you can, with How to make a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster!
Serves 10 (One helluva party).

Step 1: You Will Need...

1 bottle Old Janx Spirit
2 cups seawater from Santraginus V
1 Tray Arcturan Mega-gin Ice Cubes
50 Litres Fallian marsh gas
1 Silver Spoon
100 mL Qualactin Hypermint extract
10 teeth of an Algolian Suntiger
100mL Zamphour
10 Olives
1 Jumbo Cocktail mixer (Acidproof)
10 cocktail glasses
2 Heads
2 Gas masks
2 Safety goggles

Step 2: Make the Main Body of the PGGB

Pour the Ol' Janx Spirit and the Seawater into the jumbo cocktail mixer. Make sure you are not doing this in a high rise, as if any is spilled, it will burn through solid concrete.

Step 3: Define the Texture

Melt the Ice cubes into the mixture. Make sure they are completely solid until after they have come into contact with the solution.
Bubble the Fallian Marsh Gas through the mixture. Inhale some and give a thought in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.

Step 4: Refine the Taste

Pour the Qualactin Hypermint extract in over the back of the silver spoon. The mixture should emit heavy odours of the dark Qualactin Zones.

Step 5: Create the Heart of the Drink, the Inner Flame

Drop in the suntiger's tooth. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink.

Step 6: Mix the Cocktail

It doesn't matter whether you shake or stir. Really, it doesn't. You can't taste the difference. Actually, Afterwards, you cant taste anything at all...

Step 7: Pour the Mixture

Prepare the glasses. Don the gas masks and safety goggles. Pour each individual cup with the utmost care.

Step 8: Work on Presentation

Sprinkle a small amount of Zamphour in each glass.
Drop an olive in afterwards.

Step 9: Call an Ambulance

You will be unable to do so once intoxicated.

Step 10: Drink!

But very very carefully...



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    16 Discussions


    Reply 9 years ago on Introduction

    If you can substitute the ingredients and make one it would be good. (You could leave the original recipe in for reference) L

    El Manolemonie

    Reply 9 years ago on Introduction

    Why does an Instructable have to really teach something? Or something obvious?

    If Agroking took the trouble to make a good -ible on a nonsense recipe and people will actually read the nonsense, (and maybe get a laugh, like okoshima), who really cares? The -ible can always be unpublished or deleted if no one likes it.

    Secondly, this -ible teaches a few other things besides how to end up with alcohol poisoning. One made valid by your post (no offense) is "Don't publish nonsense". Coming off of that, another would be "Someone will always disagree with what you do, so be ready". A few made valid by my response are "There are people in the world who do try to defend the weak, so don't assume the world is worse than Hell" (maybe a bit of an extreme case), and "El Mano is interested in things that don't involve computers, explosives, or dismantled electronics" (which is rather useless, unless, like me, you tend to collect random tidbits of fact in the hope that they may someday be useful).

    I can't drink, so I have no interest in a Gargle Blaster cocktail, but I was bored and when I saw this -ible I clicked on it (Another lesson, children: "Don't be afraid to advertise, and be careful about what you publish, because no matter where you leave a message, you never can be sure who might come across what you put down"). Nothing personal, it just irritated me that you were giving Agroking flak for a decent (if hard-pressed-to-be-useful) Instructable.

    lemonieEl Mano

    Reply 9 years ago on Introduction

    The site isn't a kiddies play-area (regardless how many people think it is). The site ("Make How To & DIY") says:
    Instructables is a web-based documentation platform where passionate people share what they do and how they do it, and learn from and collaborate with others


    Mostly given as much as other members are defending this ible, if you want to pull the "What this site is for" card, what about all the "ibles" that are only a slide show of something they made with no step by step characteristic to it (like lego instructions).

    I have seen plenty of other ibles that looked like they would be really sweet to try, only to find that the poster had only put pictures of their creation. I realise plenty of people who would argue that this is also what the statement of purpose allows for, but it says "...share what they do AND how they do it..." not just show what they do.

    Despite being of a joking nature, one could argue that this ible is more in line with the mission statement than showing off pictures because it actually explain a HOW TO (even if you can never find the ingredients).

    (Despite the fact that for the record, I do agree that an ible should be something people can actually follow the instructions from, I also realise that when you give people the freedom to create their own content, unless you actually police the site people will do something else. As Okoshima says below, this is one of the best joke ibles I've seen.) As long as people don't over do these kind of "ibles" I don't see a BIG problem with it. It gives the site character.


    8 years ago on Introduction

    it would definetely be more easily enjoyed if this was edited to include Earth-availabe ingredients so mere humans can enjoy it too. Don't Panic!


    8 years ago on Introduction

    LOVE IT. Big Guide fan. I don't think it was that complicated though. Obviously spent some time coming up with it so kudos on that. Very creative and I enjoyed reading it. I read some of the other comments and I think someone needs to come up with something realistic but exotic. Not pina colada exotic but way out of the box. Leave out the gold brick though. Might be an easier sale.


    Nice presentation, but I was hoping it would have substituations with earth ingredients. My space-ship is in the shop you see, and I ever bothered to buy an electronic thumb.


    9 years ago on Introduction

    theres a fair few joke ibles out there, and this is possibly the best one. i liked it and got a laugh so thanks


    9 years ago on Introduction

    I was kind of hoping this would be an fan 'ible on how to do this with actual, plausible ingredients, not a rehash of how to do it from the book :p but eh

    2 replies