Intro: How to Make an "Artisan" Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Why settle for a pedestrian Grilled Cheese Sandwich, when you can create an "Artisan" Grilled Cheese instead? Remember: "Artisan" = "Better"!
Step 1: The Bread
Here, I "partner" with my local Boulanger to discuss the virtues of heritage yeast strains. He really 'gets' my well-informed suggestions!"
Procure a fresh loaf of Multi-Grain bread from your favorite bakeshop, as long as it is located within a 20-mile radius. You could substitute bread purchased from a grocery store; just don’t try to feed it to me or my children.
Step 2: Slicing
Slice the bread by hand to the desired thickness, as long as you desire the thickness to be between 70-120 millimeters. Discard any slices that appear to be uniform.
Step 3: Judge the Cheese
"I have selected this washed-rind sheep’s milk cheese; it presented me with an admirable level of indignation.
Judge the cheese. Judgementalism is an extremely important facet of being “Artisan”. Cheeses should be judged on demeanor, self-righteousness, and fortitude.
Step 4: Select the Pan
“This pan has the Brooklyn-chic aesthetic that I am going for here.”
An “Artisan” grilled cheese requires a pan that matches the temperament of the sandwich.
Step 5: Assemble the Sandwich
Bread, Quince paste, Cheese, Sazon Mas Guapo, Bread.
Step 6: Preparation
“Take great care here. Remember: You can’t spell 'artisanal' without 'anal'.”
“Pan-Crisp” the sandwich in Amish Butter until the cheese is melted and the exterior is golden brown. It is critical that the two sides do not match!
Step 7: Service!
“I am serving my “Artisan” grilled cheese on a “Re-claimed” paper towel roll that is being “Re-purposed” as a plate. Remember: Simply Re-cycling is for the lazy and uncreative!”
Photo-document for the social media platforms, before serving to your guests. Elicit approval from peers, being very careful to not appear too impressed, and Enjoy!