We all fall victim to putting off assignments, but I'm here to show you how I do it right! In this current situation I am Procrastinating creating an Instructable for my class. Feel free to substitute any other assignment, add as many of your own personalized steps as you wish, the more the better!
Step 1: Allow John Denver to Caress Your Inner Ear.
This is an essential step, John Denver sets the mood for the entire procrastination process. Johns honey like voice puts the body in a state of hibernation, and makes you too lazy to start your Instructable. I prefer to listen to Mr. Bojengles on repeat! Continue for about an hour.
Step 2: Conflict Resolution
This step is my personal favorite, take your anger out on your roommates through super smash bros... bro! Revenge is best served through a falcon punch! Nothing cleanses the soul like annihilating the roommate that ate the last of your tortilla chips! Although this step is one of the most enjoyable, this is the hardest step. Most people get stuck battling Mario and his comrades all night, it is crucial you complete this step and move on to step 3.
Step 3: Ruckus
This step requires no skill, but it does require a drum set, guitar, and a Kevin. (If you aren't able to contact Kevin you must skip this step.) Proceed to aimlessly bang on what remains of a drum set, as Kevin picks the guitar. Continue until Kevin gets up and leaves. This is usually a short step.
Step 4: Tremmors
Now that you got your blood pumping, settle down to an inspirational 1990s monster film with Larry. I chose to sit on top of the blankets, but feel free to accompany Larry under the covers for a warmer viewing experience.
Step 5: Cat
Next Paint a Cat.
Step 6: Research
Look at chocolate Instructables for at least 30 minutes in order to prepare yourself for the next step.
Step 7: Replenishment
All this procrastination requires a lot of energy, this step is to help prevent fatigue. In order for the body to be able to continue, a healthy snack like a bowl of Cookie Crisps is required. Cookie Crisps, are ideal, but they may be substituted with refried beans or a jar of peanutbutter.
Step 8: Community
Support local businesses.
Step 9: Black Hole
This step consists of getting lost on youtube limbo, while using the community foot massager. Once your feat meat is nice and tender you may complete the procrastination Process. ( Many people chose to wash their feet after using the massager, but I don't see the point.
Now that the process is complete you can force yourself to stay awake and attempt to create your very own Instructable, or complete your project of choice!