Do you have dog problems. Your poor mangled hand has had enough by now, I am SURE! BECAUSE DEEP DOWN YOU KNOW THAT YOUR DOG SMELLS LIKE LOTTERY TICKETS AND HOSPITALS!
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Step 1: Discipline
Discipline your dog into being ashamed of his actions. That means only fish heads and clams for supper tea time and top of the day pooping! there are many forms of discipline. I suggest stuffing your dogs head down the toilet after you have used it. also, be sure to reward his tolerance with a good old pair of dracula fangs and a poke in the eye
Step 2: Clean Up Time
force it to clean your laundry and all those motivational planners that you have laying around. also put a frilly peter pan collar on it and slap it on the mouth and then do this and then do that >:)