How to Use Soap

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This instructable is to show you how to use soap. This is for you jamiesoncostello (https://www.instructables.com/member/jamiesoncostello/)

Step 1: In the Shower

First off i suggest that you use soap in the shower. It helps to clean the dirt and germs off of you. First turn on the shower and adjust the temperature to your liking. Then get in, and grab a bar of soap. Firmly hold it, as it will slip from your hands. Then run it all over your body, covering yourself in suds. Then thoroughly rinse your self off, if you need further instruction, read the package of your soap, or go back to the mental institution

Step 2: In the Sink

Washing your hands with soap and water is a very good hygienic practice. It helps to kill germs and keep your hands from becoming icky. First turn the sink water on, then adjust the temperature to your liking. Stick your hands into the water, grab the soap, and scrub them until all visible dirt is removed, or until 3 minutes is up.

Step 3: For Naughty Children With Potty Mouths

This step is thanks to killerjackalope. This is for naughty children, like this one: https://www.instructables.com/member/Tetranitrate/ . (Just Kidding)

When your child says a bad word, simply clean it out of their mouths. To do this simply get a child (preferably your own) that has said a bad word. Then grab a bar of soap. Insert the bar of soap into the child's mouth, and let the flavor soak in ( this usually takes 10-300 seconds, depending how bad the word was) Then take the soap out of the child's mouth, and scold the child, now you are done

Step 4: In the ShowerS.

If you ever find yourself on the wrong side of the law,
This step may be of great use to you.

For reasons completely unknown to me, It seems to be a generally good idea not to "drop the soap" when in a communal shower.
Prison is one example.
But soap can get quite slippery and hard to hold on to.

From that problem we arrive at this solution:
Soap on a rope.

Or for you religious folks, to compliment the bible next to your bunk beds:
Pope on a rope
.
Though I'm not sure if rubbing the pope around your butt is sacrilegious or not.
Use at your own discretion. (Possible side effects include but are not limited to: runny nose, coughing, sneezing, hay fever, loss of bowel control and eternal damnation)

Added by Jamiesoncostello, because I said I would and I'm a man of my word!

Step 5: Entertainment!

Everyone's seen a fountain before.
But they're never really as entertaining as the one in the movie Blank Check.
This could be a problem, but as always, I've got a solution!

Laundry detergent works best, or dish washing liquid.
Soap bars would just take far too long to dissolve.

Step 1.) Acquire soap.
Step 2.) Dump soap into fountain.
Step 3.) Try not to get caught.
Step 4.) Enjoy!

I'll throw a few pictures in this step to let everyone know what's up.

Also added by Jamiesoncostello, 'cause I'm an overachiever.

Step 6: Your Done

If you think of any more hygienic uses for soap or you would like to be a collaborator, please post comments here


Thank You And Have a Nice Day

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    50 Discussions

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    charli10

    4 years ago

    Why would you wash a child mouth out with soap why just scold them and ban them from there favorite toy or even ban the telly

    1 reply
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    HammEcharli10

    Reply 4 years ago on Introduction

    Because, putting soap in a child's mouth tastes bad, so they should think twice before saying a bad word. And I don't think a kid is going to follow the rules if something is banned.

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    codongolevshammallamaman

    Reply 9 years ago on Step 3

    the bb gun shot kid's eyes out. he fantasized about going blind and how his parents would forever be ashamed that they made him eat soap.

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    rfraser2codongolev

    Reply 5 years ago on Step 3

    yep, he imagined he had "soap poisoning", but i bet his soap poisoned mouth never cussed again!

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    Leonard Zelig

    10 years ago on Introduction

    Here is another use for soap: If you are ever in prison, carve a gun out of a bar of soap, use shoe polish to paint it black, then use the "gun" to make a guard open your cell and let you out. Just make sure it isn't raining outside.

    4 replies
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    TN777santis308

    Reply 6 years ago on Introduction

    LOVE Ernest goes to jail! He carves a machine gun out of a bar of soap, and makes a gaurd let him out. But then the tip wilts! Too Funny!

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    kelli_enkeli

    7 years ago on Introduction

    Someone needs to make hippies read this. Soap would help improve their hygiene.

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    EleriK

    9 years ago on Step 3

    You can do this with Bleach (tm), if it was a REALLY bad word!

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    jc817

    10 years ago on Introduction

    If i knew what an instructables collaboration was, or how to use one, I would say make this a collaboration. I almost want to add an entire step on how to use Soap On A Rope.

    4 replies
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    shammallamamanjc817

    Reply 10 years ago on Introduction

    Lol, thanks, I take pity on you, I don't know if even I would want me as my hero ;) jkjk