The onslaught of technology threatens to degenerate mankind into a species of ignorami, imbeciles, and nincompoops. Fight the trend by going old school, back to when men counted using sticks and rocks. Make a USB stick drive today!

Step 1: Parts Needed

Stuff you'll need for a stick drive:

1. A stick* of about 3/4 inch diameter
2. A USB drive
3. Hand saw
4. Hot glue and gun

* Suggestions for type of stick: black walnut gives a classical and refined look, balsam is the most weight-friendly, cypress is good for its resistance to water damage. I chose maple because of its hardness (however it may soon be banned by Major League Baseball due to its tendency to shatter).

Step 2: Cut the Stick to Desired Length

The first thing to do is to cut the stick to the length desired. I left a short branch sticking out to pull with. The length is to your preference. I chose a longer length due to it's grab-ability and because it looks good in my pocket.

Step 3: Notch the Stick

Cut down vertically then cross-cut into the stick to notch it out for the USB.

Step 4: Attach the USB Drive

Draw a small seam of hot glue along the cut-out section of the stick. Press and hold the USB until it's secure.

Step 5: Plug It In!

Plug in your new stick drive and off you go! It's old school and it's eco-friendly and green.

An added bonus: your stick drive should float if you ever drop it in water. That way, you can retrieve your now-dead USB drive. (Or does water actually kill a USB?)