All in all, the whole thing cost me under £100. The main costs were to my sanity, and on printing the fridge magnets (yes, fridge magnets). My priorities are all wrong, as I haven’t even booked the registrar yet. Here’s a step by step guide to putting together your own invite…
Step 1: Create the Elements in Indesign and Mark the Fold Positions on an A5 Landscape Document. Print the Sections Separately, Putting the Actual Invite Onto a Separate A6 Card to Be Cropped Down Later.
Step 2: Delivered With Envelopes, Slightly Bent in the Post.
Step 3: Start Cropping. Ideally, Find the Bluntest Guillotine You Can So That You Can Only Cut One Card at a Time.
Step 4: Immediately Realise That You Could Have Saved Yourself Two Hours by Positioning the Design in the Bottom Corner of the A6 Card, So That You Would Only Have to Cut Two Corners Instead of Four!
Step 5: Get Some High Quality A6 Black Paper to Act As a Frame to the White Inner Invite.
But don’t buy separate sheets like a normal person. Buy them as a book so that you carefully have to tear each sheet individually from the glued spine, which will make you tear and waste about 30% of the paper. This also needs to be cropped in from A6 to leave a few mm around the white card, but be smaller than the folded outer. Again, make sure your guillotine is blunt so you can only cut two sheets at a time.
Step 6: The Finished Items Ready for Gluing. Note the Slightly Crimped Edge on the Black Paper From Tearing the Sheet From the Book.
Step 7: Assemble Your Items in a Hipster Layout on Your Carpet. Everything Ready to Put Together! You’ll Need Scissors, Glue, a Scalpelly Thing, Some Satin Black Ribbon and Your Own Personally Designed Fridge Magnet.
Step 8: Glue the Back of Your White Card With the Cheapest Paper Glue You Can Find.
Step 9: Position in the Centre and Press Down Firmly. Throw the First Attempt Away As You Didn’t Wash Your Hands, Leaving a Grubby Hand Print on the Front.
Step 10: Cut About 50cm of Black Ribbon. Use One Hand to Take a Picture So the Scissors Are Floating in the Shot.
Step 11: Make Sure to Cut at an Angle. It Looks Nicer and It’ll Be Easier to Insert Through the Slot We’re About to Make.
Step 12: Fold Every Single Outer Card the Other Way Around Because You Messed Up the Printing Process and Had Them Accidentally Folded Back to Front.
Step 13: Place the Ribbon in Position.
Step 14: Mark a Dot a Few Mm Above and Below Your Ribbon With Your Scalpelly Thing, Then Cut a Line Between the Dots. Repeat on the Opposite Side. Don’t Use a Ruler So the Cut Is Slightly Wonky.
Step 15: Feed the Ribbon Through From the Front to the Inside…
Step 16: …then Back Out the Other Side. Make Sure the Ribbon Is Centred.
Step 17: Get Ready for Some More Gluing.
Step 18: Glue a Horizontal Strip Top and Bottom and Stick Down With Your Grubby Hands.
Step 19: Ready for Tying Down! Place Your Magnet in Place to Check the Positioning and Take a Wanky Photo With Your Scalpel for the Pinterest Board Later.
Step 20: Don’t Forget to Write Who It’s To. Use Block Caps After Your First Attempt at Nice Joined Up Writing Fails Miserably.
Step 21: Fold the Card First, Then Pull the Straps Together and Tie Once. Pull Hard So That You Bend the Black Paper on the Inside and Ruin the Invite Completely.
Step 22: Tie Off Like a Shoelace and Straighten Your Awkward Bow.
Step 23: Write Your Envelope Now As the Bow Inside Will Make This a Nightmare Later. Like the Calligraphy?
Step 24: Insert the Whole Thing Backwards. It’ll Go in Easier, Plus You Get to Show Off Your Nice Logo When It’s Opened Later. Make Sure the Envelopes Are Old So That the Glue Doesn’t Stick Down Properly.
Step 25: Ready to Send to Wow and Amaze Your Relatives! Repeat Glueing Steps Until You Can't Feel Your Face.
Step 26: Thank the Gods That the Magnet Stays in Place After Having to Hold Three Sheets of Paper and a Ribbon Against the Fridge.