Malted White Russian Pudding

A truly Dude-ly dessert. A base of Ovaltine pudding, a vodka whip cream topping, with coffee syrup and powdered sugar to top it all off.

Ingredients
For the pudding:
2 cups whole milk
1/2 cups Classic Malt Ovaltine
3 Tablespoons corn starch
A pinch of kosher salt
1 Tablespoon unsalted butter

For the whip cream:
1/2 pint heavy whipping cream
1 Tablespoon powdered sugar
1 Tablespoon vodka

For the coffee syrup:
1/2 cup freshly brewed black coffee
1/2 cup granulated sugar

Step 1: Coffee Syrup Ingredients

The coffee syrup should be the first part of this dessert you make. You'll want it to cool down to fridge temperature before using it. You can use coffee you got from a coffeehouse if you want, but make sure it's black (no sugar, milk, half n half, etc.)

Step 2: Time to Start Cooking the Syrup

Pour the 1/2 cup of sugar and 1/2 cup of brewed coffee into a small saucepan. Put on a burner on high heat.

Step 3: Time to Stop Cooking the Syrup

When the mixture starts to boil (it won't take long), take it off the burner and let it sit until it cools.

Step 4: For Easy Delivery

Once cool, pour the mixture into a squirt bottle.

Step 5: Ready for the Fridge

Place the squirt bottle in the fridge, allow to cool down to fridge temperature. If you don't have one of these squirt bottles, you can get them at any kitchen supply store for dirt cheap, and they're very convenient.

Step 6: Ingredients for the Pudding

It's imperative that you use whole milk; skim, or even two percent, won't set up enough for a good texture. If you only have salted butter in the house, leave out the kosher salt.

Step 7: Dry Ingredients

Mix together the 1/2 cup of Ovaltine, 3 tablespoons of corn starch, and pinch of kosher salt in a bowl.

Step 8: Time to Start Cooking the Milk

Place a saucepan on a burner. Pour the two cups whole milk into the pan and set the burner for medium heat.

Step 9: Keep Stirring It

No, seriously, don't stop stirring it. Nothing leads to burnt milk faster than stepping away from the saucepan for more than a few moments.

Step 10: Time to Add the Dry Ingredients

When the milk starts to look like this (small bubbles at the edges, a light amount of steam coming off the top), it's time to add the dry ingredients. Remember, do NOT let the milk boil.

Step 11: Slowly Mix Them In

Don't go dumping the whole lot in at once. Slowly add the dry ingredients, allowing them to dissolve in before adding more.

Step 12: Keep on Mixin'

Keep on mixing until the pudding mixture thickly coats the back of a spoon. What does that look like, you ask?

Step 13: Like This

Pretty much.

Step 14: Butter Time!

Take the saucepan off the burner, add the tablespoon of butter and mix until it's fully dissolved.

Step 15: Get That Pudding Set

Pour the pudding into the serving vessels of choice. Split into fourths for medium-sized servings, halves for large-sized servings, or all into one bowl for Chris Christie.

Step 16: Joining the Syrup in the Fridge

Chill the pudding in the fridge until it is sufficiently cooled.

Step 17: Prepping for the Whip Cream

The first step in making the whip cream is to put your mixing bowl and beaters into the fridge, allowing them to reach fridge temp. Warm metal means warm cream, which means turning into an oily mess.

Step 18: Ingredients for the Whip Cream

A hand mixer works fine, but you can also use the whisk attachment on a stand mixer.

Step 19: Add the Heavy Cream

It's best to not pull the bowl and cream out of the fridge until you're just about to use it.

Step 20: Vodka, Comrade!

Add the tablespoon of vodka to the whip cream. In case you're worried about getting smashed off this: don't worry, it's such a tiny amount of alcohol, even you downed the entire batch of whip cream yourself you wouldn't even get tipsy. However, if you're underage or Mormon, you can leave it out, or substitute in an equivalent amount of vanilla extract.

Step 21: Whip It Good

Put the beaters in the cream BEFORE turning it on, and then put it on medium-high speed and whip away.

Step 22: Adding the Powdered Sugar

Much as with the dry ingredients in the pudding, you want to slowly add the powdered sugar, giving it time to mix in with the cream.

Step 23: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

And whip some more

Step 24: Slooooow Dooooown

When the whip cream starts to look like this (glossy sheen, thick but still gloppy), lower the mixer speed down to low.

Step 25: Whipped to Perfection

At this point, mix the cream until it hits a consistency you're happy with. I like mine extra fluffy.

Step 26: Pile It On

Take the pudding out of the fridge, and dollop a nice, thick layer of the whip cream on top.

Step 27: Pour on the Kawfee

Drip on a healthy amount of the coffee syrup on top; you're going to want to get a coffee flavor in each bite.

Step 28: Thanks, Food Network

Finally, dust some powdered sugar on top. Because if there's one thing I've learned from cable television, it's not a fancy-pants dessert unless you dust it with powdered sugar (Okay, this is totally and completely optional).

Step 29: Dessert Is Served

And that's it. Perfect after a hard day of bowling, perhaps after a dinner of In-n-Out Burger.

If you have leftover whip cream, you can put it on most desserts, waffles, pancakes, or just eat it straight. The coffee syrup can be used on most desserts, or just use it to sweeten coffee.