Oh Santa, what have you been feeding your faithful furry flying friends? No matter, whatever it is they're ingesting, the end results are delicious!
These minty cookies are not only tasty, they're disgustingly easy to make and are a real crowd pleaser...not to mention they look like they take much more work than they actually do (which is great for spreading a little pre-present guilt.)
So roll up your sleeves, brew up some hot cocoa and get ready for some festive feces!
Step 1: Get Your Ingredients!
This recipe is hard. No really, it's tough. MASSIVE amounts of work and time and dedication. Or, at least, that's what you should be telling people...but in all honesty, it's really just 3 main ingredients.
1. 1 package Mint Chocolate cream sandwiches (Oreo is my go-to but the generics are just as good)
2. 8 oz softened cream cheese
3. 2 cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips
4. (optional) sprinkles or crushed candy canes for decoration
Food processor (my personal favorite kitchen tool)
Step 2: That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles and Mushes
First thing you want to do is crumble your cookies. The easiest way I've found to do this is to throw them into a food processor and pulse them until they're more of a dirt texture. Pulse works the best for this and it takes around two minutes or so for it to all get an even grind.
Once your cookies no longer resemble cookies and have taken on a decidedly "top soil" appearance, add in your cream cheese. I like to cut the block into smaller pieces and let them warm slightly which makes mixing it up much easier. Just drop them into your processor and resume pulsing for about two minutes or so, pausing occasionally to scrape down the sides.
Step 3: My Name Is MUD
As the cream cheese becomes incorporated into your cookie crumbs, you'll notice the entire wad starts to take on a thick gooey "mud" like consistency...and smells heavenly. Be sure to taste liberally as you want to ensure that your cookies are as delicious as I promise they are.
Once you've achieved mud status, pop the mix into the fridge to firm up a bit...usually around 30 minutes to an hour is about all it needs.
Step 4: Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' With My Homies
Okay, no lie, this step is MESSY!
First thing you wanna do is wash your hands really well. Get all those boogery germs off because we're gonna do this step by hand.
Using your mellon baller, scoop up small scoops of your chilled mud and roll them between your hands to form small balls of dark minty awesomeness. Because your hands are warm and our mud is cold, it will stick to your hands a bit, but just keep rolling them up into uniform little balls. I got about 2 dozen out of this recipe and still had enough in the bowl to justify another round of quality control taste testing.
Step 5: I'll Stop the World and Melt With You...
Once your balls are rolled, pop them back in the fridge for another 30 min or so while you melt your chocolate chips. I prefer using a double boiler to melt my chips, but you can also do it on the stove in a regular pot as long as you keep the temp low and watch it like a hawk.
Once your chocolate has melted down to a silky smooth liquid, start dropping your chilled balls in one at a time.
Use a fork or a spoon or whatever you have on hand (except your actual hand...this is HOT) to roll your balls and get them good and covered in chocolate.
After each ball is coated, bring it out and put it back onto your cookie sheet to cool.
Step 6: Sprinkle on a Little Joy
Once all your balls are chocolate covered, but before they've had a chance to fully cool, sprinkle on a little holiday cheer in the form of festive decorations. Not only does this add a little festive color and flair, but I'm pretty sure Santa's real reindeer eat tinsel and decorations so this step helps to add realism to the end product.
Step 7: Share Your Minty Poopy Bounty!
So there you have it! Once your chocolate balls have been decorated and cooled, feel free to share them with the world (or hoard them all to yourself you damn Ebeneezer!)
These decadent treats are a fabulous treat to add to any plate you're giving out, or in a dish at your own home for guests, but be warned, as they do contain cream cheese, don't leave them out for very long and be sure to store any uneaten ones in the fridge for up to two weeks.
Variations on this recipe can be found all over the internet and can easily be adapted to any holiday situation. Suggestions include:
Spicy Cupid poo (with pink and red sprinkles. Substitute regular chocolate sandwich cookies for the minty ones and add one cap full of cinnamon to the cream cheese step)
Easter poo (lilac and green sprinkles)
Leprechaun poo (pretty much the same as the recipe here just use only green sprinkles.)
Patriotic poo (red white and blue sprinkles)
Halloween Monster poo
The options are limitless! Enjoy!