Non-Pinching Combat Knee Pads




About: Former Marine, I like tinkering, I like shooting, I like figuring things out...

This is a simple solution to a common problem: The Pinching Knee Pads!

Are you tired of slowly taking a cautious knee for fear of landing on calthrops or shards of obsidian that have been scattered on the rugged asphalt, all while trying to take cover and steady your aim when battling zombies...? But the thought of knee pads is almost insufferable with their biting, and pinching straps that bind the fabric of your scotch-gaurded-anti-zombie-combat-trousers...?

What? You say your fancy pants have a slot for an insertable knee pad... So you dont need heavy duty knee pads? Really.... Well you know its only a matter of time before you destroy the front knees in your pants, and everyone knows that those holes in your knees will be where all the leaches crawl into your trousers.... Holy-Craptastic!!

This instructable is appropriate for military/law enforcement useage, airsoft/paintball, and construction workers. The principal being that most (though not all) knee pads have two retention straps near the top and bottom of the pads. If your specific knee pads are different, try to use this idea to figure out how get your variety to fit as comfortably as possible!

Step 1: Bend the Knee and Wrap the Calf

Okay, I honestly know most of you will catch on to this really quickly. Just check out the photos and you should be able to adjust your pads to fit yourself.

Attach the lower strap suggly across your upper calf. Now whenever your knee comes into contact with the ground, the part of your leg touching the ground runs from your knee-cap down. Dont wear a knee pad way above the kneecap, its useless up there.

The only suggesting I have that isnt in a photo is that when you do put your pads on "take a knee". Basically dont stand up straight-legged when you put them on, sit in a chair, or on the floor, or on the fresh pile of zombie torsos you just piled up.

The reasoning is simple; pads need to "fit" when your knee is bent. So put them on while your knee is bent. This step is very important so let me say it another way, put them on while your knee is bent. Hope that explains it.

Step 2: Flip and Slip

STEP - 2
Just as the title of this step implies, flip the strap backward the pass it through the secured lower strap between your pants and strapping. This is necessary so that the top strap will be facing the intented direction for the next half-step.

STEP - 2.5
Center the top strap pass-through in the middle of the back of your knee, then just take up the elastic slack, pass through the top connector ring and you are done!

Step 3: Review Step

By now I know you have this rocket surgery mastered, but to alleviate any posible confusion check out the side-by-side photo of the knee pads to see how the upper strap's pathway is altered.



    • Remix Contest

      Remix Contest
    • Epilog X Contest

      Epilog X Contest
    • Pocket Sized Contest

      Pocket Sized Contest

    7 Discussions

    Ben DangerH

    2 years ago

    Those Xombies won't know what hit em with this awesome hack


    9 years ago on Step 3

    thanks for the tip man; its gonna make it so  much easier on my knees while I paintball(or kill zombies).

    PS: noice user name dude.

    1 reply

    Reply 9 years ago on Step 3

    Thanks,  increasing comfort and reducing battle fatigue is critical for maximizing your daily ZKQ (Zombie Killing Quota).


    Reply 9 years ago on Introduction

    Those are Blackhawk brand Hellstorm knee pads. Any pads could work, its all about comfort and protection.


    9 years ago on Introduction

    Thanks for the props. Yeah I agree with PKM below, it all depends on why type of pads you have. If they cant be detached then it may not work exactly as mine do. However you could try altering a "fixed strap" pad by adding a ring of velcro or whatever to the center of both straps to draw them together making an "X" which sits behind the knee better than two horizontal points.


    9 years ago on Introduction

    I'm not sure about all types- I think the pads my friends wear while bocking have two elastics that don't detach so you probably couldn't do this. If the pads have two straps and the top one detaches somehow, you can probably do this.