I like the cream in my coffee and I drink a pot a day – of coffee, that is!

The non-dairy “creamer” served at too many places is a terrible concoction that changes the color and flavor of a decent cup of coffee in ways no decent man would tolerate.

The “Half and Half” sold in pints, quarts and half-gallon containers fits the bill and brings out the best in coffee for those who take it light and may add a spoon or two of pure cane sugar.

The problem with these containers is in the spout. On the plus side, there is a cap one can remove and replace. Hopefully that helps keep the contents ‘fresh’ a bit longer then would be the case were there no way to cover up the .75” diameter hole left if you were to open the container according to the “instructions” implied by the little ’handle’ or pull ring one finds under that screw-n cap.

Such a hole! All one wants or needs may be but a teaspoon of half and half to lighten a weak brew and three or just two for a hearty or dark roast. Instead, tipping a quart container over a coffee cup, one is as likely to pour three dollops in and about the cup as a single teaspoon into it – the opening is simply too large!

Step 1: What You Will Need . . .

Small Sharp Knife (pocket, x-acto, scalpel, or similar)

Pair of sharp scissors

A pint or quart container of Half and Half

Optional: One cup of Hot Black Coffee

Step 2: I Solved the Problem With a Sharp Knife and a Pair of Scissors.

Remove, unscrew the cap from the half and half container - revealing the pull-tab or pull-ring and the tamper-proof stopper it is a part of (and attached to).

Take hold of the ring with one hand and, with your scissors in your other hand, cut the ring free at its attachment point and discard it.

Next, we will tamper with the tamper-proof seal.

Step 3: Tampering With the Tamper-proof Seal

Next, take a small, sharp knife and cut a small triangular “^”

section out of the plastic ‘stopper’ the ring was attached to. I make a cut on the right, a second to the left and, then turn the blade and cut the last bit out leaving a tiny opening in the .75” stopper.

Sometimes I can remove the triangular piece; sometimes it drops into the half and half or stays attached somehow and out of my reach. As long as it allows the creamer to dispense, it works for me!

Step 4: Folgers, We Have Squeeze Out

You, now, have a one-quart, disposable half & half pitcher that allows you to dispense the product with laudable control and precision. In addition, squeezing the container forcefully, allows one to direct quite a stream of cream a considerable distance or when tablespoonfuls are required.

Caution:

It works like a charm.

However, you must be careful if entertaining guests or relatives. If you do not explain the invention, one of them is likely to ‘fix’ the container for you without mentioning it. You will discover this when you fix yourself a cup and wind up dumpling three dollops in your cup!

Step 5: Entrepreneurial Types Take Note:

If one of you with a 3-D Printer has some spare time, make me a screw-on cap with a little nozzle – maybe .125” hole. Then, I can pull on the ring, remove the tamper proof stopper, screw on the nozzle cap and achieve the desired result. If you market it, I only expect 1% of gross sales a bit less, of course, if my picture is on the packaging ;)

My buddy Jimmy sent me an image of the screw-on cap/spout of one of those water bottles that incorporate a valve into the cap so one might leave the cap on, pulling upon the spout to dispense and pressing it back to seal it. I may well be that one of these commercially available caps will fit a 'standard' half & half container. THere goes my fortune!